Sex ed and human biology can be uncomfortable subjects for some and there is a huge disparity in knowledge from person to person.
But when you’ve grown up in the same environment and had the same education as someone, is it understandable to be caught off guard at something they don’t know?
What if it’s a “biggie” like menopause?
Reddit user “donuts_are_tasty” found herself in the middle of some family tension after realizing her older sister didn’t understand menopause.
She asked the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) subReddit about her drama-inducing reaction:
“Aita for being surprised my sister didn’t know how menopause happened?”
Before we get into the details, let’s briefly talk about the AITA subReddit.
The format is simple. Someone who has a “grey area” moment shares it as a post.
Other people respond to the original poster (“OP”) in the comments and cast their votes.
Voting Options Are:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Now that you’ve go the basics, let’s get back to the post.
“So me (16f), my dad (45m), and my sister (23f) were watching this show (fictional) where there were firefighters who were rescuing a baby that was trapped in a house after a mudslide.”
“Well when they walked in an elderly lady was deceased and there was a 3 day old baby in a crib. My dad made some comment about how the lady was the mother of the baby.”
“Once it became clear the baby was a couple days old I said something like ‘welp she’s obviously not the mother’ because this lady looked like she was in her 70s or 80s.”
“My sister was like ‘well she could be, anybody can have a baby at any age as long as they’ve gone through puberty’ “
“and I was like ‘unless they’ve gone through menopause’ and she was like ‘you can still have a baby after you go through menopause. ‘ ”
“I laughed because I thought she was joking, then she asked why I was laughing and I told her: “
” ‘You know why women go through menopause right? Like you know it’s not just because they hit a certain age and just randomly go thought it, you know what happens to their uterus when it happens right?’ ”
“She said something like ‘I thought it was just hormones’ and I told her ‘it’s because a women runs out of eggs and you obviously can’t make a baby with no egg’ ”
“She got all pissed off at me and said ‘Well I didn’t know, you don’t have to treat me like an idiot.’ ”
“I genuinely thought she was kidding. We usually joke this kind of way where we will act uneducated on certain topics. She is also a very educated person so it really felt like she was joking.”
“If I would’ve felt like she was actually serious I would not have laughed at her and I would’ve taken the time to actually educate her.”
“Am I the a**hole for assuming she already knew why women went through menopause?”
Responses broke down into one of a few categories.
The people who pointed out that OP was incorrect about menopause also…
“NAH, you thought she was joking so you laughed – fair enough.”
“I do, however, want to call you out on YOUR lack of knowledge regarding the menopause.”
“Menopause doesn’t mean the eggs have run our, it just means the ovaries have stopped releasing them.” – DonCinimella
“NTA. You don’t understand why menopause happens either.”
“Your ovaries produce less estrogen. You don’t ‘run out of eggs.’ ”
“But you’re 16. A lot of people that age don’t care about menopause because they figure it’s a million years in the future.”
“At least you know more than your sister does.” – Barn_Vivant
“I almost feel like OP is also TA for so confidently asserting incorrect reasons for a correct conclusion.” – yifrancisren
“I can understand that she may have felt you were laughing at her. In the future, maybe try to curb that.”
“But to be fair, you are both wrong.”
“Menopause does mean a change in hormones, and you can no longer have a baby, like you said. But it’s not because you run out of eggs.”
“Menopause (which is a temporary situation) means that women can no longer get pregnant naturally and may need help if they want to have a baby in their 40s or 50s.”
“It is still possible to carry a baby to term, but you would need a lot of treatment and therapy.”