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Mom Irate After Guy She Had One-Night Stand With And Ghosted Asks Their Son To Call Him ‘Dad’

Young beautiful brunette woman wearing a sweater over pink isolated background mad yelling with aggressive expression and arms raised. Frustration concept.

What makes a parent?

Is it DNA?

Is it the person who raised you?

What if that person never knew about you?

Case in point…

Redditor IndividualSource7810 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for teaching my son to call me dad against his mother’s wishes?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I had a one-night stand with a woman (Mary) I didn’t know at a party in 2016.”

“About a year ago someone reached out and told me she knew Mary and her (now 6-year-old) son was mine.”

“This person hadn’t known my name until meeting another friend of mine and they figured it out.”

“Apparently, Mary had started dating someone (Jon) just after we hooked up, then found out she was pregnant.”

“Mary and Jon got serious, got married, and Jon adopted my son.”

“After I found out, I got a lawyer and filed for custody in my state.”

“Mary and Jon fought me through the whole process, telling me not to break up their family (they have a younger daughter).”

“After lots of legal fees, I finally forced a paternity test and got every other weekend.”

“My intent is to keep pushing until I have 50/50 custody.”

“I looked into reversing the adoption, but it is basically impossible.”

“So I’ll probably have to wait until my son is 18 and then do it with his consent.”

“I have been having my son over for the past few months, and it’s been great.”

“He gets along great with my G[irl]F[riend] too.”

“He understands that I’m his father but of course, he calls Jon dad.”

“I’m not trying to get him to stop that because I don’t want to confuse him or make him uneasy, but last weekend I did tell him that he can call me dad too instead of Mr. Lastname like his mom told him too.”

“He seemed fine with it and called me dad while he was with me.”

“His mom found out and has been pestering me all week, saying I’m a sperm donor and Jon is his real dad and she’ll take me to court for parental alienation.”

“The last thing she said was that I can be an uncle but my son only has one dad.”

The OP was left to wonder,

“I’m ignoring most of what she said, but I am wondering if AITA for asking my son to call me dad in this situation.”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“SHE’s going to take YOU to court for parental alienation????”

“Oh… I’d love to see that one.”

“Your honor, this man that I slept with ‘sperm donor’ a baby into my womb.”

“I never told him and lied about knowing who he was so that I could have my new husband adopt him.”

“I then fought tooth and nail to keep them from ever meeting and getting to know each other.”

“This man actually told his son that he could call him dad… causing our son to be alienated from his adoptive father.”

“In case my opinion is not clear… you are NTA and there is no reason this kid can’t have two dads.” ~ Playful-Ad5623

“Exactly- in a world where so many people have so little love, this kid is lucky enough to have two dads who love him.”

“I wish the child’s mother would take a moment and really think about what’s best for her kid.”

“NTA- proud of you OP for wanting to be a part of your child’s life.” ~ Skylaren

“Y’all need to get that kid into some family therapy.”

“I think that from an adult perspective, your actions make sense but from a kid’s perspective they make me wince.”

“You just met this kid at 6 and his mom is clearly hostile towards you.”

“She continues to poison the well so you might want to get ahead of that.”

“I think that you thinking about your own needs and his toxic mon makes this EAH.” ~ Annual_Equivalent650

“NTA and it’s great that you clearly want to be a parent to your child that you just found out about.”

“I do kind of hope you’ve spoken with a child therapist to make sure you’re handling this as best you can to help your child understand what’s happening and get him help if he needs some help processing everything.”

‘And you could always approach other terms for dad, like pop, pa, da, dado, daddio, abba, babbo, etc, and see what you can come up with, and what he’s comfortable with.”

“Plenty of kids have 2 dads, and I hope you can all find peace.”

“The more love a kid has, the better.” ~ fallingintopolkadots

“Super NTA…”

“In a world filled with dads abandoning their kids or doing the bare minimum you have fought to be more.”

“In a situation where you have more than enough reason to hate her and make this a mess, you didn’t.”

“You considered nearly everything to make this as good for your kid as possible.”

“In a situation where all the resentment towards Jon would be normal (even if it would undeserved since we don’t know if he knew what she did), you didn’t go there.”

“You have done everything right. It’s sad to see how many pathetic people are attacking you.”

“Keep your head up.”

“Your son calling you dad is a beautiful thing.”

“So not let her ruin any more of your life.” ~ Odd_Welcome7940

“Can you imagine how the son would feel if he wanted to look for his bio dad only to be told his dad never knew about him?”

“What Mary did was wrong so wrong. She should have given you the option because, in the long run, I believe it will cause more damage than good.”

“He would hold resentment towards his mom for doing that, and who knows what emotional damage!”

“This is coming from someone who’s been through that!”

“I’m glad the bio dad found him and showed he wanted him! You keep it up OP, and don’t let that woman stop you from being a dad to your own son.” ~ Far_Scholar1986

“NTA, and I can’t imagine why anyone would think you are.”

“Mary created this situation.”

“Kinda seems like she could have found you ’cause the post reads like y’all have mutual friends and still live in the same area.”

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to know your child.”

“A child should be able to know their father.”

“You missed out on six years of his life through no fault of your own.”

“And giving the kid the option to call you dad and then the child doing so is a great thing.”

“I hope his mother isn’t hearing him say any of the things that she is. Kids hear so much.”

“My mom divorced my dad when I was young. Maybe 1.5 years.”

“He was abusive and an alcoholic but still got that weekend custody!!”

“Almost killed me one time during a visit.”

“He wasn’t the greatest.”

“But even at three years old, I will never forget the tone of his voice and how he spoke to me when he found out I was calling the man my mother was with now ‘dad.'”

“He said horrible things, and basically called me stupid for ‘not knowing who your dad is.'”

“I hate that I even remember that s**t.”

“Obviously, I’m not saying you or this Mary person are like my dad.”

“But words hurt and stick with you, and your son is twice the age I was.”

‘Tread lightly, and keep records of all communications.” ~ Melodic-Advice9930

“I think you have more grounds to take her to court for parental alienation than she does to you.”

“NTA. Keep pushing. She chose not to tell you about the pregnancy.”

“You have every right to be in your child’s life, especially if your child wants that as well.”

“Jon is dad. Jon raised him, and he lives with him.”

“But you are also a dad.”

“New to it, and learning.”

“And as long as your child is okay with it, you can be that for him to the best of your ability despite the legal roadblocks.” ~ Justcommenting121

“NTA, you are doing your best to be in your kid’s life after he was effectively stolen from you.”

“Good on you for trying to be there for him and fighting so hard for it.”

“I can’t believe all the people saying YTA.”

“Yes, the guy who raised and adopted him is his dad, but so are you!!”

“These people are delusional to think you should just ignore a child who is yours that you want to be involved with because his other parents raised him without your knowledge for 6 years.”

“You have every right to want to be a parent to him.”

“Good on you mate, much respect. I hope you enjoy the future, finally being able to know your kid. You deserve it.” ~ AdNuminousNot

“NTA. Her telling you she would take you to court for ‘Parental Alienation’ had me laughing. That’s exactly what she did.”

“Also, I don’t understand how the adoption held up, as you were never informed about your parental rights being terminated.”

“If her friend figured out who you were, then it’s most likely the mother knew who you were and lied to the courts.” ~ Cautious-Band3605

OP came back with a response…

“Some people are asking how I could gain parental rights for adoption.”

It is possible because I did not consent to the adoption, and Mary claimed she did not know the father.”

“The birth certificate was blank for father.”

“Jon decided to adopt when my son was one year old, and he got married to Mary.”

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

You are entitled to fight for your son.

Maybe you and Mary should sit down with a therapist.

Good luck.