Any parent will tell you that finding a good, reliable babysitter who gets along well with your children is a literal chore.
Some people might think that standards for babysitting are too high, but it’s really all about children’s safety, shrugged the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor The-Super-Titan had hired their sister to babysit their children during the summer months before she went off to college, at least until they caught her drinking on the job.
When their parents criticized them for being too hard on their sister, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if they were somehow in the wrong.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for firing my babysitter for drinking alcohol when she was watching my kids?”
The OP recently hired their sister to babysit their two sons.
“Since the beginning of summer, my parents convinced me to hire my sister (19 Female) to babysit my 2 kids while I’m at work.”
“My kids are 5 (Male) and 4 (Male).”
The OP came home to something terrible.
“Everything was going well until I came home late in the evening and found my sister, who was drinking alcohol and was drunk.”
“Her heavily drunk boyfriend was throwing up in my bathroom.”
“This p**sed me off because she wasn’t supposed to be drinking any alcohol when watching my kids, and she brought her boyfriend to my house who I haven’t even met yet.”
“When I asked her where my kids were, she did not even know. I found them outside digging in the yard.”
The OP decided enough was enough.
“After this happened, I kicked both of them out of my house and fired my sister.”
“She then blew up at me saying that It wasn’t right to fire her all because she had a little to drink.”
“My parents got involved and told me that I was overreacting and was being inconsiderate.”
“They even tried to assure me that my kids were fine and nothing bad happened, but I tried to tell them that that wasn’t the point.”
“Am I the a**hole here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the sister absolutely deserved to be fired.
“NTA. I thought you were going to say sister was getting smashed after the kids were asleep.”
“But the kids were digging up the back yard and your sister didn’t even know where they were.”
“That is negligent, she deserved to be fired.” – DistrictEquivalent79
“I was expecting it to be like, ‘I came home at 11 pm and found my sister having a beer on the couch. The kids were asleep and everything was fine but I don’t want her drinking when she’s watching my kids.’ That would’ve been a question.”
“But drunk babysitter, completely wasted boyfriend, and no one knowing where the kids are (who are outside unsupervised)? H**l no, NTA for being p**sed and firing her.” – TattedKnifeGeek
“I was expecting the sitter was having a glass of wine and watching Netflix, which a parent still has a right to say is not ok with them, but would warrant a conversation, maybe not instant firing.”
“I was not expecting an underage binge drinker to bring her unknown boyfriend over, and they drank so much he had the beginnings of alcohol poisoning, and the kids were left alone in the backyard unsupervised.”
“There are so many lines crossed here, it’s amazing the sister is even trying to deflect. She should be apologizing with her tail between her legs.”
“Holy s**t. So, OP, your family thinks child endangerment is cool, huh?” – wildeflowers
“I might give family a little more slack with having a beverage or 2 after the kids have gone to bed, but I’d absolutely never accept it from a non-family sitter, and 100% in either case I would never find it acceptable while the kids are still up.”
“I don’t care what your job is, as a general rule drinking, while you’re working, is a no-go for me.” – duffman13jws
“Even if there were no drinking at all, bringing a person to their house that they’d never met before is not okay. The closest I’ve gotten to that when I was a nanny was asking my mom to drop something off at the house where I worked, and she didn’t come to hang out.”
“Bad enough that the babysitter is too drunk to know what the kids are up to, but she also brought over a strange adult who was also heavily drunk in front of the kids… H**l no.” – AliceInWeirdoland
“Who is taking the kid to the emergency room if they fall and break their arm? (Heaven forbid). But someone should ALWAYS be able to handle that situation when kids are involved. It’s way past okay.” – DataQueen336
“NTA, you’re not ‘firing the babysitter for drinking alcohol,’ you’re ‘firing the babysitter for getting drunk during her job to the point of gross negligence.'”
“Like, let’s look at the situation properly, because you’re downgrading the behavior by describing it just as ‘drinking alcohol.'”
“If she was just drinking alcohol during the job, that’s not great but can be acceptable, depending on what the job is. If she was just getting drunk during the job, she’d get fired from any job for this behavior.”
“But that wasn’t it. She was getting drunk with others during the job to the point where a person was throwing up and she had to, ultimately, stop doing the job to take care of that person.”
“Now, babysitting is not a hard job, but the potential consequence of her failing to do her job could have led to injury or worse. I would not trust her and her boyfriend to not f**k it up again.” – petrichorInk
Others couldn’t believe the stance the OP’s parents were taking.
“What’s more amazing is the OP’s parents are taking the sister’s side!”
“They had no problem with their toddler grandchildren running around unsupervised while their daughter and her boyfriend were getting wasted?”
“I think we all know who the golden child in this family is.” – WaldoJeffers65
“I was shocked when I read that! Drunk, irresponsible sister’s feelings are more important than the safety of toddler grandkids? What the f**k?” – UglyLovelyDucky
“Absolutely negligent. I wouldn’t even do this as a parent!! It’s neglect and dangerous.”
“If anything had happened, neither adult was in a fit state to look after the kids.”
“Just because she’s the sister doesn’t mean she gets a free pass!”
“NTA and it’s worrying that OP’s mum is sticking up for her drunk sister instead of being worried about her grandkids. I wouldn’t let her babysit either…” – rugbycompass
“She deserved to have the police called on her, actually.”
“OP, make sure you never let your sister (or your mother for that matter) into your house with your kids there if you are not present. Change the locks if either of them had a key.”
“NTA, obviously.” – NotNormallyHere
“Not sure if there is some type of babysitter reviews app, but this is definitely worth letting other parents know before they make the mistake of hiring her.”
“This could’ve ended badly, and instead of apologizing profusely for her negligence, she’s doubling down and saying it was no biggie?! She’s not responsible enough to care for a cactus, let alone small children.”
“And with the way OP’s parents are acting, it’s no surprise at all that the sister is this irresponsible.” – natidiscgirl
“That was 100% child endangerment on her part as she didn’t even know where they were.”
“Your parents have no say in who watches your kids, so they need to butt out.” – Dragonr0se
“NTA. Your folks’ reaction is so shocking. Your sister is not going to change with that kind of enabling.” – AngryWriterGrr
“Look up ‘golden child vs scapegoat.'”
“I would bet a shiny quarter that OP is their parents’ buttmonkey, blamed for everything, but tolerated to maintain access to the grandkids, while the sainted sister can do no wrong.”
“To them, she wasn’t THAT drunk and the kids turned out fine, so OP is the bad guy for causing a stir.” – FekketCantenel
The subReddit was appalled by the younger sister’s behavior in the OP’s home, and they were collectively grateful that their two young children walked away from this babysitting scenario unscathed.
While they could all agree that a beer or glass of wine after the children had already gone to bed and were sleeping would not be the worst thing in the world, this clearly was not that.
Rather, this was a safety issue where the children could have gotten hurt outside, hit in the road, lost, or taken, because there was not a responsible adult present.
If the OP’s parents and sister took a moment to consider what could have happened, rather than the fact that everything turned out okay this time, they might realize why the OP was so upset and why they no longer wanted to continue a babysitting partnership with their sister, who was barely beyond being a minor herself.