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Parent Livid After Son’s Friend Gives Him Birthday Cake Even Though He’s Forbidden From Eating It

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Controlling your children’s sugar intake is really important to some parents, because kids love sugar and they mistakenly think it makes them crazy as opposed to the overstimulation and excitement of situations where sugar is normally served in abundance.

Sugar can cause long term dental and health problems when intake is excessive, so it is understandable to want moderation in your child’s consumption. But when is strict too strict?

So when Redditor cakethroawayAITA found out that a friend of their child gave him some forbidden sugar, they were understandably upset.  After a difficult reaction, though, they were unsure if they were in the right.

Wanting objective feedback, they turned to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for this from objective strangers:

“AITA for getting upset with my best friend’s son for giving my son cake?”

Our original poster, or OP, told us the circumstances around their son and suger:

“My son is 8 years old and recently attended his friend’s 8th birthday party. This friend is my best friend’s son.”

“I don’t let my son have any/much junk food at all and usually he brings his own snacks (for this incident it was carrot sticks and ranch) to events that have a lot of sugary foods.”

“My best friend bakes a lot, and made a special chocolate cake for her son’s birthday. When it comes to my son, I don’t let him have cake.”

“This is personal preference for his health, not for any allergy reasons, and he is not diabetic or gluten free. My son knows he isn’t allowed to have cake because of the additives.”

“When he told his best friend this at the party, his friend apparently got upset and told him it was ‘good cake,’ not bad like I say, because his mom made it, and it was his birthday cake.”

“My son ate cake, got a sugar rush, and crashed, making him cranky for the rest of the day after we left the party.”

OP talked to the friend about this, but was upset that it wasn’t taken seriously.

“I told my friend she needs to have some kind of consequences for her son to teach him not to peer pressure other children into eating things they’re not allowed to have.”

“She said because it wasn’t an issue of allergies or health, that she’s sorry my son was cranky but she won’t be punishing her son or talking to him about it on his birthday.”

“She says also that she’ll just watch more closely/make sure her husband does in the future, as well as have a chat with him on another day about respecting food habits.”

“(I love my friend, but historically, her and her husband have always said ‘yes’ to their son and not given him any consequences for anything.)”

“Both of us were present at the party and did not see them sharing the cake (they were outside eating in the backyard with their fathers and some other parents supervising while we cleaned up) so it’s not an issue of anyone going behind anyone’s back, just teaching children boundaries and respect.”

“I let my son stay for the rest of the party and be with his friend, so it’s not like I ruined the day.”

“AITA for being upset with my friend’s son and the fact that she won’t punish her son for pressuring my son into eating cake?”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Redditors immediately told this parent that they needed to loosen the heck up.

“God forbid your son experience a moment of joy and celebration. YTA. FYI – ‘sugar rushes’ are a myth. They have been debunked many many many times by scientists and medical professionals.”

“That your son was irritable for the rest of the day was likely because, having had fun at a friend’s birthday party, you pissed all over his enjoyment of the party with your ridiculous attitude and over-the-top indictment of the whole party.”

“I can only imagine your son’s embarrassment at you having the utter gall to demand consequences for a kid, on his birthday, who shared his cake with your son (who, by your own admission has NO health issues that would be affected by said cake).”

“It wasn’t the cake that made your son irritable, it was YOU. I seriously doubt that you being declared the a**hole in this will in any way soften your views on such things.”

“It’s perfectly fine to want to make sure that your kids eat nutritiously. You also shouldn’t be a fascist about it. In fact, the more you try to exert such iron control over it, the higher the likelihood you will drive your son straight into an eating disorder.”

“There isn’t a doubt in my mind that your son has a stash of candy at various places. Because of YOU.” – SoImaRedditUserNow

“YTA. It was cake on a special occasion. Your son isn’t being fed cake daily. Also, you have issues with additives in cake, but find ranch to be acceptable?”

“I’ve thought about this more and honestly if I was your best friend I would be pissed at you and asking you to talk to your own kid.”

“He made her son feel bad about the cake she made him for his birthday. He felt the need to defend the cake and was upset by what your son said.” – 2Cents4Free

“YTA. 1. Your son is old enough to say no to a piece of cake.”

“2. You were there so watch your own kid.”

“3. Science has proven over and over a sugar rush is not a real thing so that was not an issue and your kid was cranky over something else.”

“4. Lighten up and let your kid have fun, good lord.” – MyRockySpine

“YTA and here’s what is going to happen when your son realizes all of the food that he’s not allowed to eat.”

“He’s going to sneak it, he will learn to sneak other things, he will have food issues, and possibly a weight problem. Kids need to be taught that food is fine and we eat in moderation.” – SimplySam4210

“YTA. The 8 year old kid at his own birthday party offered a piece of cake his mother made for him to your 8 year old kid, his friend, and you want him to have ‘some kind of consequences’.”

“Get over yourself. This kid didn’t ‘pressure’ him.”

“Your son said I can’t eat cake because it’s bad for me (and I have an overbearing mother who tells me that) and the kid just said there’s nothing bad in my mom’s cake.”

“Your kid didn’t HAVE to eat it. He chose to.”

“And no, neither she nor her husband have any serious plans to discuss respecting food habits, but they are sure discussing you right now.” – dart1126

People were certain that OP’s strict sugar consumption rules would lead to the kid’s struggles later in life.

“YTA. Jesus Christ let your kid enjoy some cake. The other kid was just trying to be nice.”

“Also, and I kind of feel bad for typing this as your kid will probably end up just eating carrots from now on, but ranch has additives too.”

“Oh, and sugar rushes are a myth. Your kid crashed because he was tired after a party, not because he ate some cake.” – cornonacop

“YTA If you don’t think your child will at some point ( if he hasn’t already) eaten sugary things at school or friend’s houses you are sorely mistaken.”

“Restriction and off limits foods and activities are a sure way to get kids to do the exact opposite. You are also setting your child up for issues with food and weight in the future.”

“No food is inherently bad, everything in moderation.” – eregina3

“YTA. You’re setting your kid up for an unhealthy relationship with food.”

“In regard to this post, the other kid didn’t understand why your son was saying that his birthday cake is bad.”

“I don’t think an 8-year-old was peer pressuring your child about cake.”

“You’re at fault for thinking any child would choose carrots over cake and not teaching your child moderation instead of just saying no to good things.” – Effective-Essay-6343

“YTA for being upset at an 8 year old who didn’t know any better. Your son told his friend he can’t have cake because there’s bad stuff in it.”

“His friend, trusting his mom above all else told the truth as he knows it: ‘don’t worry my mom made this so there’s no bad stuff in it’ and your son was convinced.”

“That’s not peer pressure, that’s two young children navigating a confusing world as best they can. I cannot stress enough that we’re talking about 8 year olds here.”

“Fortunately, it’s not your decision if and how the kid gets punished, so if preventing your child from having a piece of birthday cake is this important to you, you are free to focus on talking to your own son about double-checking with you when someone tells him he can have something.” – shadowsofwho

And plenty of people pointed to the fact that OP seems to want someone else to parent their child for them.

“So rather than using this as a teachable moment for your son, you decide to go lecture your friend on how to parent her kid?”

“Friend only said it was good cake as his mom made it, if you think that is peer pressure then wow, middle school is going to be a terrible time. YTA”

“You’re setting your son up for a life of being teased by not allowing him even small amounts of treats OR he is going to sneak them at school or hide them.”

“And if friend made the cake, how are their additives in it?? Why isnt your husband punished because he was meant to be watching his son..” – shadow-foxe

“YTA. An eight year old offered your son cake and he, another eight year old, ate it.”

“Their kid didn’t ‘peer pressure’ him into eating cake, your son just isn’t as onboard with your food preferences for him as you wish he were.”

“In the end, a single helping of cake is not going to negatively impact your kid’s health beyond you having to deal with a cranky kid for an evening.”

“Your friend is offering to do more than I would, frankly. Cake is sort of a part of the birthday tradition, especially for kids, and it isn’t really their job to make sure your eight year old doesn’t sneak some forbidden fruit when it is offered to him.” – hraedon

“YTA. You say you son’s father was out there with him, yet somehow it’s the birthday boy’s fault that your son ate some cake?”

“And is it really surprising to you that when your son tells his friend that his birthday cake is ‘bad,’ that his friend would respond with ‘no, it’s not?’ You put your kid in a difficult position, and he’s 8.”

“Your kid, your responsibility, and it’s really obnoxious that you’re trying to make another child responsible for what your kid chooses to do.” – sqibbery

“YTA. Your poor son omg. Look up toxic diet culture. What makes ranch dressing more ‘healthy’ than cake?”

“By restricting your son from foods you deem bad you’re setting him up for a life time of problematic eating habits.”

“You very clearly have an eating disorder OP. Please seek help, this is not a healthy way to live your life.”

“You’re also the a**hole for being mad a child for SHARING. Get a grip. You sound exhausting to be around.” – monoclemaam

Despite her crusade around feeding sugar to kids, no science and no Redditor was on the side of OP.

They all agreed their child could use some extra fun in his life.

Hopefully OP comes around to that way of thinking as well.

Written by Mike Walsh

Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.