When family members ask for a favor, our first inclination is to help.
Even if it sometimes might put us at a significant disadvantage.
Noble as this is, constantly being at someone’s beck and call is also rather dangerous, as over time, these family members might expect your help, and it can’t be forgotten that this help is an act of generosity, not obligation.
The parents of Redditor Ok-Reality7473 recently asked her if she could give them a ride to the airport for an upcoming trip, as well as a ride home upon their return.
Something the original poster (OP) was less than eager to do, as the timing of this trip fell during a rather delicate time for her.
While the OP assumed her parents would understand, that sadly proved not to be the case, as they simply refused to take no for an answer.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to give a ride to my parents to the airport which would require around 2 hours after 2 weeks of delivering a baby.”
The OP explained why she was rather surprised that her parents didn’t understand why she was unable to drive them to the airport.
“My due date is on Aug 1st and my parents want a ride to the airport Aug 14th to go visit my sibling’s family in another state.”
“They are asking i pick them up from their house and drive them to the airport and then I would drive home. This is around 2 hours of my time, dependent on traffic.”
“I said most likely I’ll be tired breastfeeding my newborn and taking care of my toddler during this time.”
“They are guilt-tripping me into wanting me to take them to the airport and also want full-service rides back from the airport on their return flight as well.”
“AITA for asking them to take an Uber since i think the first 4-6 weeks after delivering a baby is taxing on my mental health and physical state?”
“They are very unhappy with me right now since i asked them if they can take an Uber.”
“I understand they are my parents.”
“I respect them, and they do help me out babysitting here and there without any charge.”
“My husband and I have always given them a ride to the airport and picked them up doing the 2 hour drives.”
“I even committed to doing a 2-hour drive six weeks before my due date to take them to the airport before work and picking them up after work for another trip they will be making to go to a destination trip with my sibling’s family.”
“I never say no.”
“However, we (my husband and i) think 2-3 wks after the birth of our 2nd is just too much to ask.”
“Also, they even stated, ‘why doesn’t your husband do it.’
“I said lightly you can ask him, but he will be sleep deprived just as much as me.”
“AITA?!?!”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to drive her parents to the airport.
Everyone was shocked that the OP’s parents could be so insensitive and oblivious to the OP’s condition and agreed that they had grown somewhat entitled to rely on her help.
“NTA.”
“These kind acts have resulted in entitlement instead of gratitude.”- diminishingpatience
“NTA!”
“What is wrong with your parents?!?!?!”- inFinEgan
“NTA for many reasons.”
“One being that it’s not safe for a newborn to be in a car seat position for more than an hour at a time, and if you’re breastfeeding, you won’t be able to be away from the baby that long.”
“Using car seat safety guidelines from the UK where I live.”- TechnologyLittle2940
“It seems like they’re putting their own ‘needs’ before their own child’s health, which automatically makes them the AH.”
“Despite you having given birth two weeks ago, it sounds like they are taking the kindness for granted.”
“Definitely NTA.”- alcremie02
“I’m shook that this is even a question.”
“NTA, 100%.”
“I’ve never had any children, but from everything I’ve heard, I wouldn’t be offering up my time to anybody unless it was absolutely necessary.”
“They have an easy alternative and no right to be upset with you.”- bargechimpson
“Absolutely NTA???”
“Don’t feel obligated to pay for their Uber either. Having babies is expensive.”
“They’re being rude asf, let them figure it out.”- briansauce69
“NTA omgoodness a woman’s organs literally re-shift in her body during childbirth.”
“You will be in absolutely no condition to drive.”
“They are delusional.”
“This is a hill to die on.”- cat787878
“NTA.”
“Tell them it isn’t even medically possible to drive that far two weeks after a baby.”
“You have zero clue if you’re bleeding heavily, popped stitches, or whatever.”
“Tell them to sort a bloody train or $25 airport bus.”- LetsGetsThisPartyOn
“NTA.”
“You will be recovering and taking care of your children.”
“Asking you to cater to their any need at the time is very selfish and entitled.”
“You’re not their personal driver.”
“Also about this babysitting without asking for charge thing, isn’t that what families do every now and then?”
“Help each other?”
“Because I didn’t read you charging them for the 2-hour drives you and your husband did for them, you guys helped. I wouldn’t feel bad about it.”
“Wish you and the baby a healthy delivery and recovery.”- espressopowder
“NTA.”
“Why would they even ask?”
“They need to stop being cheap and just pay for someone else to take them instead of piling more work on you.”
“The reasons to say no are obvious to everyone (But them apparently).”- John_Smith_555-1212
“NTA, but if you want to drive the point home, at some point, put your baby and toddler in their seats and bring them for the ride.”
“An hour with a screaming baby, potentially with a break for breastfeeding on the highway, changing nappies, toddler tantrums, and all the necessary distraction tricks ought to cure their desire to be driven around by you.”- Missepus
“NTA.”
“They don’t sound like parents.”
“More like spoiled entitled brats.”- TermsNcond
“NTA.”
“They should not have planned this trip so soon after you’ll be giving birth.”
“They could have planned more carefully, but they didn’t because you’ve always taken them whenever they asked.”
“But this time, it’s asking too much.”
“Don’t they have friends?”
“Let them bother someone else.”
“If they don’t want to pay for an Uber, tell them to park in long-term parking.”
“Can they afford that?”
“Ask them how they’d feel if you fell asleep at the wheel and crashed because you’re so tired and sleep deprived.”- wordsmythy
“NTA.”
“Unless it’s a planned c-section, you could deliver much closer to their trip.”
“You’ll be bleeding heavily, breastfeeding, exhausted, and if you have a c-section, you have to worry about blood clots on a lengthy car ride.”- MissionRevolution306
“NTA 1000x over.”
“You have a new baby and a toddler. That alone is exhausting.”
“If they are dead set, offer the following compromise.”
“IF you are going to take them to the airport, they will need to come to your home the night before and be up to bottle feed breast milk to your infant so YOU can get a full night of sleep prior as it would be UNSAFE for everyone if you drive exhausted.”
“If they are unwilling to help out so you can be safe, there is your answer.”
“If they don’t get up and you have to get up with the baby, tell them they can drive themselves.”-Visual_Balance8617
The OP eventually returned with an update, thanking the Reddit community for their kind words and support, which made her feel much better about her decision, and where her parents currently stand on how they’ll get to the airport.
“Thank you, everyone, for all your responses.”
“I feel less guilty about saying no.”
“They again tried to ask me indirectly to pay for their Uber ride, but I said my brother could do it and schedule for them.”
“They didn’t say anything as I was crying at the moment over the loss of my pet.”
“I’m going to guess they will bring it up again to ask again because… that’s just who they are. They never take no for an answer.”
“But thank you all for giving me some advice that I clearly need around the parent-adult relationship.”
There’s no denying that how to get to and from the airport can be complicated. With taxis and ride-shares being expensive, it’s nice to rely on someone to give you a ride.
Even so, that the OP’s parents didn’t seem even to consider that their own daughter would have her hands quite full on the day they need a ride, having given birth to their new grandchild no less, is shocking, to say the least.
Equally shocking is that they expect her to pay for their Uber when it doesn’t seem that they offered to pay for the OP’s gas at any point.
Something they might hopefully consider next time they ask for a favor.