Anyone who drinks has had a night we are not proud of. But, they learn and hopefully make better decisions going forward.
But that doesn’t mean people should never have a drink with friends again, it just means they should be careful.
Redditor The_Gingerbean encountered this very issue with their friend. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
AITA for walking out of my friends get together after being denied alcohol?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My friends and I had planned a night out at a girls house, we will call her ‘E’, where we would drink a little and have fun.”
“I had drank for the first time 3 weeks prior and hadn’t had a drink since, but when I did drink I had 11 shots and ended up throwing up. I promised myself and my friends I wouldn’t go over 8 so that didn’t happen again and I was told that it would be fine if I drank at Es house.”
“When I finally get to her house I am told that I am not allowed to drink and when I ask why her only response is ‘no’ and ‘you’re cut off.'”
“I got a little bit annoyed but I thought I wasn’t allowed because she thought I would throw up again, so I pulled out 100 dollars and told her she could keep it if I ended up vomiting, to which she declined.”
“Now, being declined alcohol is fine, it wasn’t mine to begin with, but where I had the problem was with everyone else there being allowed to drink and even offered drinks when they didn’t drink on their own, including a guy she had never met or seen drink.”
“One of my friends offered the solution that E could just poor out a few shots so that I couldn’t get too drunk but she whispered something in his ear and that was the end of the conversation.”
OP felt isolated.
“Eventually I grew tired of being denied and having to be around a bunch of drunk people and so I grabbed my shoes and walked out the door upset. E chased me out the door and asked where I was going, when I responded, ‘home’ she just said ‘ok’ and turned back to rejoin the group.”
“I was later called and told that it was rude of me to just leave the house without saying goodbye and that I shouldn’t feel entitled to other people’s alcohol.”
“I think it’s an a**hole move to offer alcohol to everyone in a group except one guy and then not explain why. In addition, I am the only one in our group with a car and I frequently drive my friends around whenever they ask so I’m paying plenty of gas money myself.”
“Edit: I was planning on staying the night at Es house but changed my mind and went home in the end, I was not driving anyone else that night.”
“Edit 2: When drinking the first time, I drank so much because I had a friend there who offered to stay sober and let me ‘test my limits’ it was a bit too much alcohol but it was a way to let me know what I can and can’t do and what not to do again.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. If the host was uncomfortable with you drinking, it was their obligation to make that clear to you before you arrived. Singling you out in front of a group including strangers was incredibly rude.” ~ Early-Light-864
“Info: What else did you do while drunk? It seems like there are facts missing from your story.” ~ Math-Girl—
“I agree, the offering $100 is sketchy as hell too. What are you not telling us OP? Are we going to see you on America’s Most Wanted or something?”
“Don’t bet drunk college kids, especially DON’T pull out a 100 dollar bill.” ~ Jintess
“I read the $100 part as ‘if I throw up this is for cleaning costs etc.’” ~ Ecstatic_Policy_1569
“That’s what it was intended as, I was using it as a guarantee that I wouldn’t overdo it that night because 100 bucks was on the line.” ~ The_Gingerbean
Some people argued OP was actually the a**hole.
“Gonna have to say YTA here.”
“You sound quite irresponsible when it comes to alcohol and your friends don’t want to deal with that – I can’t blame them. You drank for the first time ever and had eleven shots? That’s a lot. And now you’re saying you’ll ‘only’ have 8? That’s still a lot, especially for someone who hasn’t really drank before.”
“You need to learn how to drink before you start hanging out with friends like this.” ~ dcm510
“Yes, it seems like OP hasn’t learned how to pace himself and the situation last time was messy. I do think they should have been upfront with him if they were gonna invite him, but his existing plan of 8 shots sounded pretty concerning and ‘I’ll bet you $100 I won’t throw up again!’ is not reassuring at all. I would also be worried about supplying him with drinks.”
“I don’t think I’d say he’s TA though. They didn’t communicate this with him despite inviting him.” ~ seventeenblackbirds
“Based on the info, I’m gonna go with NTA.”
“1.) You weren’t designated driver.”
“2.) Everyone has their one allowed bad experience with drinking too much and it’s super easy for that to happen your first time drinking. I reckon you’re more experienced friends didn’t help you too much when it came to showing you how to pace yourself.”
“3.)They didn’t keep you in the loop, and whispered into the other’s ear like high schoolers about why you should not be allowed a drink, in a get together full of people drinking.”
“If they were uncomfortable with you drinking they should of mentioned it prior to the party instead of cutting you off like some alcoholic or a baby. Or tell at least tell you that 8 shots still sounds like a lot.”
“Also for them to tell you you’re rude to leave without saying goodbye—I agree it is, but it is also rude to make a guest feel like an outcast and not explain why.”
“And for them to tell you that you shouldn’t feel entitled to other peoples alcohol— well I’m sure if you brought your own, a problem would have arisen so it’s not really about that.”
“So yeah, they’re the a**holes for denying you access to what everyone else has access to without keeping you in the loop and tell you what’s REALLY going on. Like if y’all are friends, they should act like it, and talk to you about whatever the problem really is and how you can solve it together instead of this whole one sided plan of action.” ~ cheychey-
Alcohol can get out of hand quickly.