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Guy Claps Back At Host After Being Called ‘Cheap’ For Refusing To Pay For Drinks At House Party

People at a party cheers with drinks

When throwing a shindig, there is much to consider.

There is meal prep.

The guest list, a theme, music, decor… the cocktail menu.

It can be a lot to undertake.

But parties are fun, so everyone gets it together. At least they’re meant to be.

But some party rules and ideas can spoil the whole event.

Case in point…

Redditor cheapfriends-ta wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for leaving my friend’s party after they expected their guests to pay for drinks?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“This past weekend, my wife (41 F[emale]) I (42 M[ale]) attended one of my friend’s parties that I was invited to.”

“For context, my friend (42 M) his g[irl]f[riend] (48 F), and their two friends (also mid 40’s M and F) were hosting this party, the 4 of them together.”

“A few weeks ago, when I received the invitation, I realized that it said on it something along the lines of ‘please be prepared to purchase your own drinks.'”

“Didn’t think much of it at the time considering I just thought they were hiring a bartender or something, but fast forward to the day of the party.”

“I arrive with my wife, and it’s my friend and his gf standing behind their kitchen counter that they were using as their ‘bar,’ making/charging the guests for drinks.”

“Now I was confused for a few reasons…”

“1… the fact that this party was held at my friend’s house, it’s not like this was at an event space or something where this would be normal. in my opinion.”

“2… there was no bartender that they hired or anything like that.”

“It was literally 2 of the 4 of them standing in the kitchen at a time making drinks for people and then charging them accordingly (drinks were all under $10).”

“Now I don’t know if this is actually a common thing, but I have never in my 42 years of living been to a ‘party’ at a friend’s house where the hosts are charging you themselves for drinks.”

“I’ve had multiple parties over the years that I have invited my friend and his gf to in which they have attended.”

“And I’ve never charged ANYONE for drinks ever.”

“I’ve always bought all the drinks myself and had an open bar type of situation.”

“Where my guests can make their own drinks.”

“I even had a proper bartender once, and still no one was charged. It was an open bar.”

“I honestly felt like my friend, his gf and their friends were all trying to make a quick buck off of their guests who attended.”

“Clearly to cover to cost of the drinks.”

“Which yeah, I understand that booze isn’t cheap these days, but we’re talking splitting the cost of whatever they bought between 4 PEOPLE.”

“Like, in my opinion, if you can’t afford to supply drinks at your party, why are you having a party in the first place?”

“This also wasn’t for charity or anything. The money made off of the drinks was for them to split.”

“My wife and I bought one drink each, stayed for about an hour or so, and said our goodbyes.”

“When we were leaving, my friend asked why we didn’t have that much to drink?”

“I told him because I think it’s ridiculous that they’re charging their close friends for drinks.”

“He called me cheap and an unsupportive friend.”

“I assured him that I’m not. If the charging of drinks was for a good cause (like profits go to charity or something), of course, I’d buy drinks.”

“I told him I find the fact that they are charging for drinks and keeping the money for themselves ridiculous and taking advantage of their friends.”

“Anyway now my friend and his gf are butt hurt about this and have been calling me an AH to our mutual friends.”

The OP wondered:

“AITA here?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA – that’s tacky AF.”

“I get B[ring] Y[our] O[wn] B[average], but this is a whole other level.”

“I would haven’t even gotten one drink.”  ~ jrm1102

“Tacky is the right word.”

“I usually err on the side of over-ordering food and drinks for people when they come over, so this is just unheard of for me.”

“At a college house party, sure. Here? No, no no.”  ~ HellhoundsAteMyBaby

“When we were broke, we used to pick, like, 4 or 5 cocktails, calculated the ingredients for about four cocktails for each of us, put all the ingredients on a list, and then divided the list between us.”

And now that we have more money, we still pitch in.”

“Either with some money or with the food we bring. But that’s just my group of friends.”

“I know from others who do it differently.” ~ SuspiciousAdvice217

“How much is a keg, though?”

“When my roommates and I threw parties in college, we always split the keg and never charged anyone for it.”

“I left a party once at a friend’s house when their roommate, who I didn’t know, was aggressively charging $5 for solo cups and access to the keg.”

“Even then, I thought it was sh*tty, like we had keg parties all the time and never even considered charging, and this cheap a** is trying to get their keg paid for by party guests.”

“Forget that, don’t throw a party then.”

“Maybe if the keg gets tapped, you can put together a collection for the next one to keep the party going, but charging guests, even in college, is tacky AF.” ~ Sticky_Buns_87

“We still get kegs in our 30’s, nice craft beer, so yes, we pitch in, but it’s all pre-arranged.”

“OP is defs NTA. I would have brought it up in front of the whole party if it was me.” ~ Mantishard

“This was what I was thinking too.”

“The host noted that they hadn’t had much to drink.”

“Why would that matter at all to a decent host?”

“Wouldn’t the guests having a good time be the highest priority?”

“Clearly, OP covered the cost of whatever they drank, and it just didn’t profit the host as much as they were expecting them to.” ~ binneapolitan

“Absolutely. I’ve thrown parties where it was BYOB.”

“Unless you wanna drink from my big ‘ol case of Busch Light.”

“Parties where we accepted donations (unsolicited) for alcohol (A big New Year’s Eve party we always threw, and had a full bar – people offered to chip in if they wanted a liquor we don’t usually have in the house).”

“And parties where it was BYOB but a ‘tasting’ event, so half the six-pack or whatever went into the ‘tasting’ cooler.”

“Never sat slinging drinks at my own freakin’ house and charging people per drink? Super freaking Tacky.” ~ MedChemist464

“NTA. That’s just so weird.”

“I could understand if it was in an event space, and they hired a bar and bartender, but charging people for a drink in your home is just weird.”

“I would have left too.” ~ Intrepid-Camel-9797

“Normal friends: Hey our budgets are a little tight this month, but we still want to see everyone, so feel free to bring your own drinks.”

“Your friends: Yeah, we’re gonna charge you guys. NTA.” ~ Fun-Replacement1998

“Exactly! Whenever I go to a party, even when it’s understood that booze will be provided, I always bring a case of whatever I feel like drinking that night.”

“Some for myself, some to share.”

“And often a bottle of wine for the host.” ~ whatthepfluke

“Might be fun for OP to sit down and figure out approximately how much money they’ve spent on food and alcohol for the last few events of OPs that the mooches have attended to.”

“They have made it clear the relationship is transactional; therefore, OP should send them a bill for everything they’ve gotten for free in the past.”

“Probably won’t pay it. But it would still be petty and fun.”

“If they complain: ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were buddies, but apparently, this is a strictly transactional relationship.'”

“‘Since I wasn’t quite aware of the dynamics, I have updated my expectations accordingly.'”

‘”Please remit payment for the following within the next 30 days.'”

“”This is of course a courtesy, and no late fees have been applied to the amounts due which are already late.'”  ~ Murky_Tale_1603

“NTA. This part too.”

“Even if the drinks were free, it’s a massive a**hole move to pressure people to drink more alcohol.”

“OP didn’t throw a fit the second they showed up.”

“One drink and an hour at the party is totally reasonable behavior.”

“Interrogating people for not drinking more is uncool, and OP gave them an honest answer.”

“I’m also curious what the financial situation of the hosts is because I’ve only ever had rich people try to charge me for things like this.” ~ throwaway64736278

“NTA. My problem came in when they expected you to drink more and got mad when you didn’t.”

“It was four people.”

“Do they need the money for something?”

“Was this a charity dinner of sorts?”

“I don’t understand the purpose of expectation of drinking a lot.”

“Did they spend their rent on drinks for a party of 4? Yeah, it’s weird. I would have done the same as you.” ~ Impossible_List5746

OP came back real quick…

“I did not expect this post to blow up like this but thank you guys.”

“For any of those wondering, after reading these comments, my wife and I have decided to exclude my ‘friend’ and his gf from any of our future parties.”

“I blocked both my ‘friend’ and his gf as well.”

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

It’s your money. You get to spend it how you want.

It’s too bad y’all couldn’t work it out.

But it sounds like they have some issues to work through in general.