Redditor EnvironmentalPut2191 refuses to budge on something his wife is insistent upon.
Their argument turned more contentious when he tricked her to prove a point.
So he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for setting a ‘pee trap’ for my wife?”
The Original Poster (OP) started with an apology for his choice of words.
“Hello everyone. I’m a 39-year-old man and am married to a 31-year-old woman. First, sorry about the ‘pee trap’ terminology—her words, not mine.”
“Ever since my wife and I were just dating, she tried to be very insistent that I sit down to urinate. I do not want to sit down to urinate, and so I do not.”
“Frankly I don’t think it’s any of her business how I pee anyway.”
“For years now, and especially lately, every time she goes to the bathroom she does this crazy-eyed thing where she looks down at the floor, groans and then pulls out paper towels and cleaning spray to wipe it up.”
“I do not pee on the floor and never have, but she calls it ‘splash mountain’ regularly. Recently I had something of a revelation when, as usual, we were having an argument about this topic, and she said that ALL men pee on the floor EVERY time they go to the restroom.”
“It seems like she is outright hellbent on proving a point.”
“Anyway, the other day, I had had enough. I went to the restroom, stood over the toilet for a minute, closed the lid and flushed. Then I called her in.”
“I asked her to point at where I had peed because I’m trying to change my behavior, and in a couple of seconds she pointed at a spot and said ‘there’.”
“The spot was clean. I hadn’t used the bathroom since the day before. I told her as much, and she got incredibly upset.”
“She said I set a ‘pee trap’ and that what I did was really mean to her. Then she insisted that every time I go to the bathroom, I pee on the floor again.”
“I’ve had enough. I think she’s just trying to get out of the fact that I caught her in her crap, but she has doubled down on her behavior and is completely convinced I’m a relentless a**hole.”
“Am I? I don’t think I did anything wrong all things considered.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“NTA your wife has been trying to start problems where there aren’t any just to get you to pee a certain way.”
“Unless you’re lying and actually have been peeing on the floor that’s super weird and slightly controlling of her.” – afuckingpear
“Agreed with NTA. Even if she was trying to change his behavior, what she did in this situation is pretty weird, and as a married couple they should communicate about it. This is beyond the scope of Reddit.”
“The only thing I would’ve changed is, when she was caught in her act, saying ‘Now urine trouble!'” – Anus___–_Fungi
The OP thought this was a brilliant suggestion.
“Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa, says the key to a happy marriage is not separate bedrooms, it’s separate bathrooms. Works well for me too.” – VanillaCola79
“I insisted on a 2-bath apartment this year when we moved. My husband didn’t think it was worth it but said ‘I don’t care that much, you decide’ and I said ‘Well then I decide we’re getting two freaking bathrooms’ haha. So we did.”
“I swear, we fight like, 80% less now. No more trying to race each other to the toilet when we both get home, no more arguing about who gets to shower first, no more of him complaining that I’m taking too long to wash my face, or my complaining that he’s taking too long playing games on his phone instead of getting off the toilet…it’s the best.” – pellmellmichelle
“I’m going to make an additional suggestion.”
“Let’s introduce some more evidence to this discussion.”
“Urine fluoresces under UV light.”
“You can buy a small, handheld blacklight for just a few $$. (People use them to check for rodent urine as evidence of rodent infestation.)”
“You can actually demonstrate which of you is right.” – Anemphenon
As to be expected, the puns flowed freely.
“Oooo urine trouble now.” – jimberly718
“specially since he leaked the issue online.” – puesyomero
“Wee bit lame if you ask me.” – Tyo111
“He wizz just getting started.” – henry_somers
Not everyone was in favor of the OP, however.
“I know my husband isn’t peeing all over the floor. I also know at six and a half feet tall, there’s splash. I feel like it’s everywhere and it annoys the f’k out of me.”
“I pointed out to him how it splashes everywhere and he’s been trying to be better but he won’t sit to pee. I do plan to teach my toddler son that.”
“I did stop cleaning the bathroom and my husband was all ‘what’s sticky all over?’ Piss and toilet water my dear.” – donuts_and_bacon
“Okay definitely agree with this. I was going to say something similar. I understand that men don’t purposefully pee on the floor but because they stand, it does end up splashing all over the place.”
“I don’t live with men anymore and so we don’t have this problem anymore. OP, Do you clean the bathroom?”
“Because this is a very well known thing. She could very well be pointing to pee from some other time if the bathroom hasn’t been cleaned recently.”
“She is not valid in forcing you to pee sitting down. But if she doesn’t like to clean it, maybe you can have bathroom as a chore instead. I think ESH.” – scarybran
When asked what the big deal was and a Redditor suggested the OP should just sit to pee, he replied:
“Because indulging in her obsessive controlling behavior and what I do in the most private part of my house crosses a line for me?”
“Honestly, why is everyone on this subReddit so convinced that my responsibility is to indulge in her fantasies when I caught her in a bald-faced lie?”
“Yes, making your spouse happy is a good thing, and acting as if I’ve never made a single sacrifice for her (which some people in this comment section are suggesting) is entirely wrong.”
“But even though I’ve taken pretty extreme lengths to confirm the cleanliness of the toilet after I use it, she still insists that I’m making it filthy every time I go.”
Hopefully, the couple will be able to reach some sort of compromise—whether it be sharing cleaning duties or separate bathrooms—before it turns into separate households and separate lives.