It’s understandable that most people consider their pets to be a part of their family,
Indeed, pets require the same amount of love and attention that children do.
As a result, many pet owners can’t bear to be away from their pets for large stretches of time.
Feeling the only thing to do is take their pets with them wherever they go.
Redditor tahwraoyw-yawaworht and their partner wanted to bring their dog with them to their sister’s upcoming wedding.
Unfortunately, the resort where the wedding was taking place had a strict no-pet policy.
While the original poster (OP) had a solution to this problem, their mother didn’t think this idea was fair to their sister or the rest of the family.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not staying at the same resort as my family for my sisters wedding so I can bring my dog?”
The OP explained how they found a way to bring their dog to their sister’s wedding, but the rest of the family wasn’t so keen on this solution.
“My Sister is having her destination wedding at an international resort that does not allow dogs.”
“My partner and I want to bring our 10 lb Maltipoo to a neighboring resort that does allow dogs (like literally a mile away) so that we can be at the wedding.”
“The dog will be at the resort with a dog sitter (service that is provided by the resort that we will be staying) while we are at the wedding.”
“However my mother is insisting that we leave the dog somewhere/with someone back at home and that we stay at the same resort so that the family can be all together throughout the stay (my sister’s resort will only allow us a single day pass for the day of the ceremony if we are not guests of the resort.).”
“Honestly, we have been to a family wedding internationally before on a beach island and spent most of our time individually (with our SOs), spending any family time mostly on just the day of the wedding and the occasional dinner.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided on where they felt the OP fell in wanting to stay at a different resort so they could bring their dog.
Some felt that the OP wasn’t the a**hole, as it was their decision to make, even if they were somewhat confused as to why they were so intent to bring their dog with them.
“NTA.”
“But I’m really confused as to why you want to bring your dog to a wedding that you have to fly to.”
“Weird to me, but you do you.”- Ok-Context1168
“Hey, I used to work in pet shipping internationally! I highly suggest not doing that.”
“It sounds like you are leaving the country, so you will have to go to not just a normal vet, but a specially accredited vet to sign off on health documents.”
“Then those health documents have to be sent to a governmental agency that deals with animals/agriculture to sign off on those for just one part of the travel documents.”
“Oh, and that health cert could be valid for 30 days or for 72 hours (depending on the country you are going to and where you are coming from), so it’s always nice to sweat out the mail sending you your official documents right before your flight.”
“Depending on the location, there could be permits needed, or a designated quarantine time period once you arrive, or if you’re going to Hawaii, the absolute craziest rabies check that you have ever seen (Hawaii is rabies-free and plans to stay that way).”
“Many airlines will also force you to use a pet travel agency (since it is so damn complicated to ship animals internationally and if just anyone tried it they would f**k up and get their pet stuck in customs), and the lowest quote I’ve seen is $1500 for a small trip, one way.”
“Even though your pet is 10lbs and could sit on your lap on a domestic flight, some countries, like the UK, have regulations that say your dog cannot ride in the cabin. They would be in a crate in the baggage hold no matter the size.”
“And crate regulations/checking in your dog to the cargo hold is a whole other story.”
“It’s expensive, a massive headache, and absolutely no one understands the process before they start is, and easily get overwhelmed by all the little things you have to do.”
“I only suggest it if you are moving internationally.”- PinxJinx
“I’m just curious why you insist on traveling to a destination wedding for a sibling, where you’ll probably be expected to spend quality time with your family, with a pet instead of leaving it at home with a pet sitter or friend to regularly check on your dog.”
“Just weird. I guess if you’re actively trying to see your family as little as possible and avoid having to hang out with them outside of the wedding it makes sense, but just really unusual and strange.”- ConsiderationCrazy22
“Technically NTA I guess.”
“But why are you bringing the dog in the first place?”
“What is with all these people suddenly thinking their dog needs to be with them 24/7?”
“You’re stressing the dog out considerably, dragging it into a new environment and probably on a plan.”
“Leave it with trusted/experienced friends if you don’t want to do boarding.”
“I swear to god the dog will be fine for a weekend without you.”- pikathepikatoo
Others, however, felt that the OP was indeed the a**hole, feeling that it was wrong to prioritize their dog over their sister.
“Slight YTA.”
“It’s strange that as the sibling of the bride, you are choosing your dog over spending time with her and the family at a destination wedding.”
“If the resort gave you more than a one-day pass it would be different, but at destination weddings, part of the fun is having all of your loved ones in the same place.”
“Even if you don’t spend every minute together, it’s nice to grab a meal together at night, etc.”
“You literally won’t see them outside the wedding if you do this, which is odd to me personally.”
“Just have someone dog sit. It’s a few days.”- Lifesaboxofgardens
“Have you checked with that nation’s rules about allowing foreign animals in & have you checked with your home country’s rules about allowing your animal’s re-entry?”
“Some countries require a strict quarantine on animals.”
“Aside from that, though. YTA kind of.”
“I mean, it’s a family event & you’re going but only seeing anyone at the actual wedding.”
“Unless you’re actively trying to avoid your family because you don’t like them, leave your pup at home.”- pineboxwaiting
“YTA.”
“Just leave the poor dog with a sitter at home instead of stressing it out with unnecessary travel and actually spend time with your human family.”- GreeneyedSigma
“YTA.”
“Leave the dog at home.”
“Geesh.”- Secret-twist14
“Based on the info you provided, YTA.”- Flashy-Confidence732
“YTA.”
“You haven’t responded to any of the info questions so I’m assuming there’s not a good reason why you can’t just get a pet sitter back home.”
“You’re creating lots of unnecessary stress and drama over a dog who probably would be happier being left at home.”- Microbiologist45
“Why do owners feel the need to make everything about their dog?”- CelebrationNo3073
“YTA.”
“Just leave the dog with a sitter at home.”
“It’s your sister’s wedding, not a holiday.”
“I have had a dog for 14 years that I love to bits, and I consider part of our family, but I wouldn’t take him to my sister’s overseas wedding.”- Impressive_Courage61
“YTA.”
“I have a dog. I love them.”
“I leave them behind for weddings because, duh.”
“There is someone in the world who can take care of your 10 lb dog.”- randomwordgeneratorr
“YTA.”
“You are choosing the company of your dog over the company of your family.”
“And you didn’t mention any particular reason except that you don’t think you’ll spend that much time together anyway, which is not nice.”
“I mean, I have relatives I avoid, but I’d never rub their noses in it.”
“To be clear, the faux pas here isn’t taking your dog on vacation, so long as you don’t show up to the wedding with an uninvited canine.”
“It’s the very clear message that you like your dog better than you like your family.”
“Which makes you the AH even if it’s true.”
“Maybe especially if it’s true; it would be more gracious just to stay home.”- SaraAmis
It’s somewhat understandable that the OP and their partner don’t want their dog ever to leave their sight, and thus want to bring it with them to the wedding.
However, it does seem like doing so would ultimately cause more trouble than it would be worth.
Considering they were willing to leave their dog with a dog sitter that they’ve never met, it might be in their best interests to leave their dog with a trusted friend rather than take it along.