Content Warning: Infertility, Pregnancy Complications
While pregnancy and raising a family are not for everyone, some people become deeply desperate to have a baby, especially when they’ve had struggles and complications along the way.
But bothering and even harassing women who are pregnant is inexcusable, no matter how much they want to have a baby, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Dazzling-Two426 recently attended a wedding with her husband for one of their friends, and everything was going really well.
But when they were seated with a woman they’d never met at the reception, who immediately took an interest in her pregnancy and wanted to rub her belly for “good luck” to cure her own infertility, the Original Poster (OP) felt deeply uncomfortable.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for telling a stranger she couldn’t touch my belly after she followed me around a wedding, hoping my pregnancy would rub off on her?”
The OP was seated with a woman she’d never met at a wedding reception.
“I (31 Female) went to a wedding over the weekend with my husband. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant.”
“At our table, we were seated next to a woman I didn’t know. She seemed nice at first and immediately took an intense interest in my pregnancy, asking how far along I was, what symptoms I had, what I was craving, even what prenatal vitamins I was taking.”
“I thought she was just curious and being chatty. At first.”
The woman had struggled with infertility and was very interested in the OP’s pregnancy.
“Eventually, I asked if she had kids or was trying, since she seemed so engaged.”
“She told me she and her partner had been trying for over two years without success.”
“My heart went out to her. I told her I was really sorry to hear that, and that I couldn’t imagine how difficult that must be.”
“She said she’d tried everything under the sun, including IVF treatments, acupuncture, fertility rituals, and nothing had worked.”
“I truly empathized with her. But then… things got uncomfortable.”
“She started asking exactly how we conceived. Like, ‘Was it morning or night?’ ‘What sex position did you use?’ ‘Did you orgasm?’ ‘What were you eating that day?’ ‘Was it a full moon?'”
“I tried to laugh it off and give vague answers, then shifted my attention to my husband and the rest of the table.”
The woman was concerningly persistent.Â
“But she wouldn’t let it go. She started following me around the reception when I’d get up to go to the bar, the photo booth, the dance floor, everywhere. She would always be right there.”
“At one point, she told me, ‘I’ve been trying to spend more time around pregnant women lately. I read that being near them, and being in their energy, can help fertility. I’m hoping some of it will rub off on me.'”
“I didn’t know what to say. I gave her an awkward smile and excused myself, feeling really weirded out. I thought that was the end of it.”
“Nope.”
“I went to the bathroom at some point, and when I walked out, she was standing outside the door. As soon as she saw me, she quickly turned on the sink like she’d just walked in, even though it was clear she had been standing there waiting.”
“As I was drying my hands, she stepped beside me and said, ‘Can I touch your belly?'”
“Before I could even respond, her hand was already reaching toward me.”
“I instinctively stepped back and said, as gently and politely as I could, ‘I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable with people touching my belly.’ I even smiled to soften it.”
“She looked so upset. She didn’t say a word; she just walked out of the bathroom without looking back.”
“Back at the table, she avoided eye contact with me the rest of the night. When we said goodbye at the end of the evening to everyone at our table, she completely ignored me.”
The OP’s husband was alarmed by the night the OP had.
“On the ride home, I told my husband everything, and he was shocked. He said her behaviour was completely inappropriate and I should have shut it down or asked him to come with me to the bathroom (well, wait outside).”
“I told him that I didn’t want to make things awkward, and I had no idea she would follow me to the bathroom.”
“Honestly, the more I think about it, the more creeped out I feel about what happened.”
“But I am also feeling a little guilty. Like, maybe I was too cold. Maybe she’s just hurting and desperate, and I added to her pain.”
“I also checked with the bride, and neither she nor the groom even knew who she was. We think she must have been a wedding crasher or someone’s plus-one.”
“AITAH for refusing to let her touch me?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were deeply concerned about this woman’s behavior and mental health.
“Having been through the infertility thing myself, I did not want to even be around pregnant women because it was too painful. This story reeks of stalky, creepy lady vibes!! NTA.” – MsCattatude
“I feel like I might be one of the only ones comfortable with saying it, but this woman absolutely sounded like she was a total nutter, getting all the details so she can pass the lie off about ‘all she went through in pregnancy.’ No way, no!” – Phynx407
“You are always allowed to have your own body autonomy and consent.”
“Unfortunately, I think this woman has become too obsessive. I genuinely fear for her mental health.”
“I’m also wondering where the heck her partner was. NTA for sure.” – Key-Phone-3648
“This … is really f**king weird.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I needed three and a half years and IVF for our first, and tried some weird things in the name of desperation, but following a strange woman around, asking her about her pregnancy orgasms and wanting to grope her is ICK.”
“NTA.” – mela_99
“NTA. Regardless if she’s hurting and desperate, she needs to learn how to self-soothe and comfort herself. It’s not on you to accommodate whatever weirdo compulsions she has created to deal with not getting pregnant.”
“You were kinder to her than many people would have been. She needs to figure out a better way to deal with her grief; being weird at pregnant women isn’t kind or compassionate; it’s rude, creepy, and intrusive. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” – Flimsy_Ad_655
“NTA. As someone who has personally dealt with infertility and pregnancy loss, I have got to say that the woman following OP around and harassing her are inappropriate and unhinged.”
“I was finally able to become a mom, but things were pretty hellish for a few years. At that time, I really tried to avoid pregnant women and babies, because it was too painful. The woman who followed you around has different coping mechanisms, I guess, although how well she’s coping is questionable. I hope she gets the help that she needs.”
“And I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and that your delivery goes well. I don’t know if this is your first, but parenthood is a pretty awesome adventure.” – AdEmpty4390
Others urged the bride and groom never to give this woman the OP’s contact information, if they happen to figure out who she was.
“Should she somehow get your information, she’s the kind of creep who’ll go to your house, wait until your partner is away, and break in to cut OP open and steal the baby. Yikes.”
“And there’s already too many stories of that kind of thing going around already.” – Snivy_489
“Please be careful. She seems pretty stalkerish, and no telling what she might do.” – atxcitement
“Just to be clear… NTA.”
“This woman may have crashed the wedding… or she may be stalking you. She did sit at your table after all.”
“My advice? Take precautions. Put cameras outside your house.”
“Tell the hospital staff about the issue when you go in for birth… and that nobody is to be allowed on the floor unless you give them verbal permission… that kind of stuff.”
“I don’t want to scare you, but desperate people do desperate things.” – Riker_Omega_Three
“RUN (not literally, because you’re pregnant)!! Never talk to her again or see her, because we don’t know how psychotic she is.”
“I would have been so happy to see her not talking or coming near me after that. She got the message. We know she’s psychotic now, and with that, she could have been lying to her the entire time.” – Creepy-Beat7154
“Now, I’m possibly overreacting, but you and your husband need to find out from the friends who invited her to the wedding… Find out who she is before she figures out who you are, and lock everything down.”
“Make sure no one lets her know anything about your life, where you live, where you plan to give birth, etc. You might even inform your birth team because someone this unhinged is the kind to try to kidnap your child. Upgrade your security!” – ArreniaQ
Well, that was a disturbing discovery to realize this overzealous guest with baby fever didn’t know the bride or groom. Redditors wisely cautioned this mom-to-be from any future interaction with this mystery woman. We wish her all the best with the delivery of her bundle of joy.
The real question remains: how did she find out about the wedding?