Welcome to another game of “Bridezilla or Not?”
Today’s contestant is Redditor Overall-Candy-4513.
The Original Poster (OP) and bride-in-question put her foot down when her then-fiancé asked if his best man could propose to his girlfriend at their reception.
Cut to the OP’s big day. At the reception, the OP saw the best man cut the DJ off, and lo and behold, her new husband was waiting in the wings with roses.
This infuriated the OP (who, by the way, is pregnant with their baby), and she walked out of the reception.
This dramatic exit drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA: For not continuing my reception after my husband went behind my back”
She went on to explain:
”My now husband Lucas [age 26] and I [Female, age 25] were getting married.”
“We decided to tie the knot as we were having a little girl together and are madly in love.”
“So leading up to the wedding day, Lucas told me that his best man (Jacob) wanted to propose to his girlfriend as it would be a great time and it is a nice venue to do it at.”
“I said that I didn’t want him to propose at our wedding as it is our special moment, not theirs and that they can do it sometime else. Lucas told me that his friend was mad that I didn’t agree.”
“I just wanted the wedding to be about us because it was our special day. After that disagreement, I thought nothing of it.”
“Fast forward to my wedding day. We had finished the church service, and now we’re at the reception and were all having fun eating.”
“I’m eating my food, and then Jacob stops the music at the DJ booth to make an announcement. I just knew from that moment he was going to propose.”
“I looked to see where Lucas was, and he was holding red and white roses, walking out to stand in front of Chloe(Jacob’s girlfriend)spelling out. ‘Will you marry me?’”
“I was shocked that they went behind my back when I said no. I got up out of my seat and walked out.”
“It’s been 2 days since the wedding, and my husband cursed me out for not letting them have a special moment.”
“I responded with ‘I wanted the day to be about us because it’s our wedding not theirs and I am happy for them but the worst thing was even though I said no you went behind my back about it.’”
”Since that argument, he moved to the guest bedroom, and now most of my friends are cursing me out on all my socials.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA NTA NTA They are SO many posts here and on the revenge forums about a**holes who propose at other peoples’ weddings.”
“It’s a terrible thing to do, and I’m surprised his girlfriend didn’t turn down the engagement for doing something like that.”
“If he wanted a nice venue, he should have paid for a nice dinner or something, NOT use a celebration you just spend thousands of dollars on to make it about him.”
“I would be requesting the cost of their meals back.”
“The fact that your new husband went behind your back is also pretty terrible. Your friends who are cursing out on social can be easily removed from your life.”
“Your husband, though. I think this is something that will have to be discussed in couples’ counseling so he can see what a selfish backhanded thing he did.” – lostalldoubt86
“NTA. The friend is an AH and a cheapskate and he should have backed off the minute he realised you didn’t like the idea.”
“Your husband is the bigger AH. If your husband can’t respect a simple decision like that on your wedding day, see it as a sign for your future.”
“Get this marriage annulled – it won’t last long if you aren’t prepared to be a doormat.”
“(I’m going to go with what typically happens as well – you, as the bride, probably put more effort into this day than the groom, so truly, this should have been your choice).”
“If you care about people’s opinions, send out one mass text explaining what happened and how your wishes were disrespected. Then go silent” – kiwi-sparkle
“NTA – I’m sorry, but you just married and disrespectful idiot. This is a black flag.”
“Any man with any ounce of morality or respect would never have even approached you about his friend proposing to his girlfriend during YOUR wedding.”
“How incredibly rude and disrespectful! If you have already signed the marriage certificate, find a judge to start the annulment process.”
“You can’t be married to someone who so fundamentally disrespects you. You are in for a lifetime of hurt if you do. I’m so sorry.” – SpruceOaks
“NTA. Get an annulment, if that’s how little he respects your wishes at the wedding, he will never treat you with a shred of respect now that he ‘has’ you” – ComprehensiveNail416
“NTA”
“But YWBTA to yourself if you say with him. Wow, such disrespect on YOUR wedding day! Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
“If you forgive him, it will set a precedent that he’s allowed to walk all over you. Get an annulment if possible, and set your finances straight and separate.”
“Do not commingle finances from now on, just in case!”
“It hurts, but it’s better to rip off the band-aid now than much later years down the line with even more suffering.”
“Spend your youth being happy and surround yourself with people who respect you, even if you are single.”
“i guarantee you’ll sleep much more peacefully with your little family than with him by your side.” – gracie_jc
“So your husband put his friend before you.”
“You should go to Jacob’s wedding, steal the mic, and announce your divorce.” – Shutomei
“Wedding 101 = YOU DO NOT EVER EVER EVER PROPOSE AT SOMEONE’S WEDDING!!”
“Baby Shower 101 = YOU DO NOT EVER EVER EVER ANNOUNCE YOU’RE PREGNANT AT SOMEONE ELSE’S BABY SHOWER!!!”
“And vice versa. Basically, anything of yours that can take away from someone else’s major life event…”
“…like a wedding or baby shower or graduation or whatever = shut the hell up and do it some other time when it’s just about you.”
“NTA x1000 and yikes on all your friends and hopefully ex husband.” – scottyd035ntknow
“NTA, but he has shown you that your opinion doesn’t matter. He’ll always do what HE wants, and he can’t stand up to his friends/peer pressure. Then he had the nerve to curse YOU out? No.”
“I’d seriously be considering an annulment. Or are you ready to live with someone ago you can’t trust and who won’t put you first for 50 years?”
“Your wedding day should be focused on you and him. Plain and simple.” – elsie78
“NTA”
“You’re right; that was your moment. It wasn’t their moment. Your husband should have honored your wishes.”
“You even said this to him. The fact that he’s giving you the cold shoulder is very telling as he doesn’t want to admit when he’s wrong. And he was totally wrong in this case.” – JupiterSWarrior
“NTA”
“What we have here is a failure to communicate; OP said ‘No’ to a proposal at her wedding. Fiancé-husband knew he wasn’t asking her a question, he was telling her this was what would happen.”
“He feels entitled to share his Special Day with whomever he chooses, he just didn’t choose OP as one of those people.”
“You are madly in love, OP. Your husband and friend group seem mad, as in nuts.” – Sidneyreb
“NTA but you need to reconsider staying married to a guy who will lie, manipulate you and then curse you out.” – Wooster182
“The only thing they did right was ask. They were wrong to go ahead and do it knowing you didn’t want it on your wedding day. NTA.”
“Please share this post with anyone bashing you right now.”
“And this is coming from someone whose family are usually delighted in such things (not sure about a wedding though…baby shower? anyone else pregnant? yahoo!).” – lmmontes
“At least if you divorce, it would be a short one, he can have his friends, you have your baby”
“Also about the friends harassing you, they are not really your friends, you can always make new ones if you desire”
“If he can talk about, respect your wish that your wedding should be just about you both and went behind your back…”
“…sorry but he is not as ‘madly in love’ as you thought, you deserve better and your girl deserves better” – kaleidoscope_paradox
“People are cursing you out? Your husband is cursing you out??? GIRL, get an annulment. He literally lied to you on your wedding day… I mean, if that isn’t a sign. IDK what is.”
“NTA. But seriously, get out of this.” – Worried-Horse5317
“The fact he went behind your back on something this special, to both of you, is a very red flag. I promise you, I have lived through this, and you will never be first.”
“He will always do what he wants, and too bad if you don’t like it. Take a good, long look at your future. He either puts you first or he puts you last.”
“I won’t suggest annulment but I would suggest some severe counseling.” – Altruistic_Ladder_19
Verdict: Groomzilla.
What do you think about this situation? Would you need to take a (pregnant) pause in this marriage? Let us know in the comments below.