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Pregnant Mom Balks After Husband Rejects Baby Name With Same First Letter As Stepson’s Kid

mom and baby
Owen Franken / Getty Images

What happens when you’re certain someone is overthinking a situation, but they are deadset on being right about it?

That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) thereareonly26 when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.

She asked: 

“WIBTA for naming my child a name with the same first letter as her brother’s daughter?” 

OP got right to the issue at hand. 

“My stepson has a four-month-old daughter.”

“Let’s pretend her name is Jess.”

“My husband and I are having a daughter soon.”

“The name I want has the same first letter as Jess’s. Let’s pretend it is Jasmine.”

‘”Jasmine’ is also my middle name.”

“My husband likes the name Jasmine, but he says picking a name with the same first letter as ‘Jess’ would be insulting to his son.”

“He also doesn’t want to ask his son his opinion because he thinks his son will be offended or not say he isn’t even though he is.”

“I think my husband is overthinking things.”

“There are only 26 letters in the alphabet.”

“Some people have to have names that start with the same letter.”

“My husband insists it would be rude and tacky.”

“I’m appealing to the court of public opinion.”

She wondered,

“Would we be a**holes if we use this name?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: NTA

Some were just confused.

“NTA- this is silly. Letters aren’t off-limits. You should definitely ask ‘Jess’ what he thinks.”

“Dad is just making up rules here because there are plenty of families with Mike, Makela, Megan, and Steve names for kids (they couldn’t agree on an M for the last kid, and still nobody cares!)”

“That being said, names should be two yes and one no. If he really doesn’t like it, you should look for different options.” ~ blueavole

“I’m sorry, what?”

“NTA, your husband’s ‘thought process’ is so far out in left field that it’s in a different ballpark.” ~ arlondiluthel

“Maybe she isn’t allowed to have a girl… because someone else already has one 🤣🤣🤣”~ Ann3lo3k


“What are the actual names? With baby name drama, sometimes there’s a subtlety that doesn’t come across with substitute names.”

“For instance, Jess is a very similar sound to the first syllable of Jasmine.”

“I had a friend growing up whose name was Jasmine, but we all called her Jazz, which sounded a lot like Jess – teachers would get confused over her name.”

“So over time, those become similar.”

“You might get more useful answers if you give the real names in this case because the situation as you have described it so far sounds bizarre.”

“I have never heard of giving dibs on letters of names.”

“Is the middle name you’re thinking of also the same first letter?”

“Would the babies have the exact same initials?”

“The trend of late eighties/early nineties aesthetics means that monograms are making a tiny comeback, but that is surely going to pass too quickly to matter much.” ~ MaybeMabelDoo

“What the what?”

“NTA – your hubby is uhm…confused.” ~ elizabethjanet


“So first of all, NTA.”

“I’m extremely confused about how any part of this could be considered rude or the fact that you’d have to ask someone if you could share the first letter of your name?”

“Is there some sort of cultural thing I’m missing, or is there religious practice I’m unaware of where cousins can’t have the same first letter… because otherwise, I’m at a loss.” ~ NecrosSkya

“NTA, I’m very confused why both names starting with J is so ‘rude,’ I don’t understand your husband’s view on this at all..” ~ Away_Bee_8734

Some thought the husband might have ulterior motives.

“Choosing baby names belongs under the ‘two yes, one no’ rule.”

“If your husband doesn’t want to name your child Jasmine, then there’s your answer, and you need to find a new name that you both love, even if his reason is stupid.”

“I’m not judging because I’m not certain what your question is.”

“You would be an a**hole to force the name ‘Jasmine’ against your husband’s wishes.”

“But if you are merely here to try to convince your husband, then yes, I agree, you and your husband would not be a**holes to name your daughter a name with the same first initial as her nephew.”

“Why aren’t you asking his son?”

“Perhaps ‘he won’t say he is offended even though he is,’ but at least give him the chance to object to (or embrace) the idea if he wants to.”

“You ought to be able to tell, from the body language, whether he’s thrilled or upset with the idea.”

“[BTW, have you considered that perhaps your husband really doesn’t like ‘Jasmine’ but doesn’t want to tell you that (since it’s your middle name), so has fabricated this excuse?]” ~ SamSpayedPI

“IMO, this is the most likely case.- he just doesn’t want to use Jasmine and is using this as his excuse to do so.”

“There’s really no point pushing it past that; trying to convince him, or worse, actually convincing him to name the kid Jasmine, is only going to create resentment later.”

“And no, there’s really no point in finding out their real reason why. Just move on. Nobody has to be the a-hole for Jasmine to be the wrong choice.” ~ GWZipper

Our community spoke out as well. 

“Legit had this happen to me.”

“My husband’s sister was first upset that I was due in the same month that both of her daughters were born in (10+ years earlier) because, ‘but that’s OUR birthday month!'”.

“And then she doubled down on her entitled anger when I had a girl (we didn’t find out before the birth) because, until that point, her daughters were her parents’ only granddaughters (many grandsons had been born in between).”

“Then on special occasions, she loudly insisted that the grandparents had to see her kids first, open their gifts first, etc., because her daughters ‘came first’.”

“Can’t make this stuff up.”

“Luckily, grandparents thought this was ridiculous, and the cousins grew up to be close anyway.”

“She thought it was like when a new cute kid was introduced on a sitcom because the original cute kids were getting older and losing the cuteness factor.”

“Um, yeah, our plans to start a family were all about YOU and replacing your kids for the grandparents. /s”

“I couldn’t decide if she was that threatened or just self-centered. Sheesh.”

“Now I just ignore that noise.” ~ discokittee

“My stepsister messaged me the day before I found out what my child was going to be to tell me she was going to be pissed at me if I was having a girl.”

“Mine was number 7 out of 10 grandkids on my dad’s side, and she wasn’t even pregnant at the time, but she was gonna be pissed.”

“Until that point, I didn’t care what I was having, but I was a little disappointed to discover I was having boy #7.”

“Stepsister got pregnant on purpose later that year (baby trapped her boyfriend) and had the only girl out of 10. 🙄”

“Also, in regards to the baby having the same first letter…I have two cousins who share mine and my sister’s first and middle names down to the spelling because their mom just LOVED our names.”

“They’re 10 years younger than us.”

“If there’d been a 3rd, she’d have used my youngest sister’s name. Mom thinks it’s weird as all get out, but it’s whatever.” ~ Low-Jellyfish1621

“Many shared names in my family, including within cousins and across generations.”

“I think it was seen as a non-event when my father and his brother married women with the same name as one of his sisters.”

“I have a memory of a Christmas where the three were sitting next to each other on the couch and another cousin came out to say there was a phone call for Aunty X, at that point they all looked at him and asked which Aunty X?”

“He had to go back to the phone to find out. 🤣”

“Btw we also have multiple people born on the same day – it’s seen as an honor with people often trying to predict birthdays of new babies to hit on their own birthday.”

“Unfortunately, my niece had her first baby a couple weeks after my birthday this year – but my own daughter is on the same day as my mum, and my son is a couple of days later than one of his cousins (he was disappointed too).”

“What I’m getting to here is that joy should be shared.”

“Other people’s happiness (particularly if it’s family or close friends) does not equate to unhappiness for you. So you can have the attitude that it’s all unfair, and how dare they…”

“Or you can celebrate and know that they will share a bond.”

“It’s actually not a competition… really it isn’t.” ~ chrissie7324

The overall theme here was confusion.

Not many seemed to understand what the husband’s argument was or why he was so concerned.

In the end, be kind where possible, but remember that some decisions are just as simple as they seem.

Written by Frank Geier

Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human.