When a person decides they’re going to have a baby, they usually have some preconceived notions about what it will be like to have a child.
Raising a perfect, intelligent, athletic, and always obedient child generally comes up on the list at some point, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor Upbeat-Buddy-4621 was realizing just how important appearances and fashion were to her sister-in-law (SIL), who was expecting her first child.
When she attempted to offer her SIL some baby clothes to save on expenses, the Original Poster (OP) was surprised when she was ridiculed for being cheap.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for calling my SIL stuck-up for criticising the prices of baby clothes?”
The OP recently offered to give her sister-in-law (SIL) some clothes for her future baby.
“I (27 Female) live with my husband (29 Male). He has a sister named Britney (26 Female).”
“Britney recently announced that she is pregnant with a baby girl, who is due in December.”
“She made a Facebook post asking for money or gift cards to buy baby clothes, and I sent her a message, offering up some of the clothes that we have.”
“My husband and I have one son (2 males) who was a Summer baby. When he was born, my extended family bought so many sweaters and other warm clothes in newborn and little baby sizes for him that he never got to wear. They have just been sitting in storage, and they are mostly gender-neutral, in colors like gray, yellow, and beige.”
“Britney agreed, and we arranged a day for me to go over to her home and sort through the clothes.”
The visit didn’t go the way the OP expected, though.
“When the day came, we were going through all the tiny clothes and talking about babies and having laughs.”
“I noticed Britney kept pausing to look at the clothing labels and googling them, but I didn’t think much of it until she started making comments about the clothes being ‘cheap.'”
“She isn’t necessarily wrong. My family isn’t the type who is into expensive brands. I believe most of the clothes were from H&M and Walmart.”
“I changed the subject, and she didn’t bring it up again, but then later went off about how some of the clothes look ‘tacky’ and how she can’t be seen taking her daughter out in them or she’d ‘look like an orphan.'”
“I was mortified by her attitude! I told Britney if she doesn’t like them, she doesn’t have to take them, but she was being very stuck-up.”
“She got defensive and said that she was not wrong for wanting her daughter to have nice clothes that will last.”
“We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, and I told Britney I’d leave her to it, and I went home.”
The family was divided over the argument.
“Before I even got home, she told my MIL (Mother-in-Law) what happened, and she’s expecting me to apologize for upsetting her pregnant daughter.”
“My husband, however, is on my side and says Britney was acting entitled.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some couldn’t stop laughing at the concept of “nice clothes that last.”
“Clothes that will last! That’s funny! They outgrow them so quickly. It doesn’t matter how long they last! She will get a reality check real quick when she realizes how much babies cost. Especially when they are outgrowing clothes you just bought last week!”
“NTA, but she is really dumb. And honestly, if she’s over here begging for money to buy baby stuff, she obviously doesn’t have enough money to be buying name brands every other month. Has she never heard the saying, ‘beggars can’t be choosers’?”
“And tell your MIL to mind her business and butt out. Don’t apologize. She’s acting h**la stuck up with that attitude.” – MamaBear0826
“This is probably the dumbest take I’ve ever seen on baby clothes. They fit them for a couple of months at most, while puking, s**tting, and peeing on them constantly. Especially in teeny tiny baby clothes (newborn, up to three months, and up to six months), CHEAP is the way to go.”
“NTA. She’s in for quite for the reality check if she insists on dressing her baby in expensive clothes.” – Majestic_Grocery7015
“NTA. Someone should tell this soon-to-be mom how fast kids grow. Most clothes, even from Walmart, will be outgrown long before they wear out.”
“I remember always laughing at baby shoe displays that said, ‘Guaranteed until they’re outgrown’ on shoes so small, the kid wouldn’t even be walking yet.” – dwells2301
“She wanted clothes. You offered clothes. She got weird and started googling brands and complaining about how cheap they are. You rightly said she sounded stuck up. She feels insecure and calls her mom to dramatize the moment and make herself feel better.”
“No, NTA. But she needs to learn to deal with her embarrassment/shame without involving other people.” – Apprehensive-Use9920
“‘Nice clothes that will last’ includes two oxymorons in one statement!”
“Baby clothes get covered in almost every vile bodily fluid there is, and they are grown out of in weeks.”
“I hope SIL appreciates s**t blowouts more in $50 onesies. NTA.” – bangarangpita
“As a Mom with several kids, clothes DON’T last. Kids grow quickly, and even if they don’t, it’s amazing how so many things can get stained, etc. The only way to have clothes that last? Don’t put them on the kid!”
“NTA. Britney needs a reality check. And if she’s asking for help, beggars can’t be choosers (and even if she wasn’t and was being offered free clothes, I’d still say that she should get over herself. It’s amazing how expensive kids are, and if you can get stuff for free like clothes, do it!!).” – BookDragon345
“NTA. There’s no reason for a newborn or even a young toddler to be in designer clothes. She’s going to lose her mind the first time they have a diaper blowout.” – OIWantKenobi
“I am floored by ALL of this. She asks people on the Internet for money, presumably because she needs help financially. Then has the audacity to be a snob about brands. Kids are crazy expensive, best of luck to her.”
“My kid puked on everything, severe acid reflux until he was 14 months old. He wrecked his Carter’s and wrecked his Burberry. Now as a toddler, he still wrecks his clothes equally in a different way.”
“Regardless of what you can afford, kids need 95% clothes they can wreck, and 5% if you as a parent love nice clothes and want a few special outfits. Otherwise, go 100% clothes they can wreck and save yourself the hassle.” – Fit-Caregiver2225
Others agreed and hoped the OP was able to put the clothes to better use.
“NTA. Please tell me you took those home with you and donated them. She sounds shallow as h**l.” – MrsMacGyver
“NTA. She’s a first-time mom. She has this idea that she’s going to buy really cute outfits that her baby will wear over and over again and be Instagram-worthy all the time. But babies puke and poop and ruin new clothes in days.”
“If she doesn’t want your clothes now, hold on to them for a little longer, and she might ask for them again when all of her cute brand-name outfits have been stained beyond repair.”
“I’m expecting my first (due in February!), but I’m really close to my sister, who has a two-year-old and a four-month-old, so I’ve had firsthand experience with cleaning some of these messes. I am thrilled with any clean clothes I get. If I have something that’s too nice, I’m actually scared it’ll be ruined within the first hour it’s worn.”
“That’s just how these things go. Your SIL will learn this soon enough.” – Character-Ad3264
“NTA. Kids that young have no sense of self and can’t be ashamed of having cheap clothes. They do nothing all day but spit up, vomit, pee, and poop. They’ll grow out of the clothes in a matter of months and, if they have enough, probably won’t wear the same outfit more than three times.”
“Your SIL is being ridiculous and rudely wasting your time. Even if she was a bougie weirdo about infant clothes, she could politely thank you for your time, take some outfits, then donate them. That’s quite rude of her to not be polite when you were doing her a favor.” – beanfiddler
“YTA to your SIL for wanting her daughter to have nice clothes that will last.”
“Umm. The baby will outgrow everything before the item begins to look worn.”
“NTA. Nothing to apologize for. But give the clothes to someone who will appreciate them.” – Slight-Bar-534
“My rule when buying gifts for children/babies: Cheap clothes, expensive toys.”
“They grow out of the clothes in a week. But toys should withstand a good pounding and chewing and using it as a step stool.” – Plus-Bar9198
“Your SIL sounds foolish and immature. Maybe her self-worth depends on having certain labels.”
“She will have a rude awakening when her baby pukes and worse like a baby does in designer outfits and not like a model in an advertisement.”
“You were being kind and generous and had it thrown in your face.”
“I hope she has good prenatal care that can enlighten her before she becomes a mother. And maybe someone can teach her some manners.”
“NTA.” – Time-Tea-231
The subReddit was completely on the OP’s side for this one, understanding the importance of being grateful for gifts and kind gestures, as well as being realistic about what a quickly growing baby will need. And it seemed, at least at this point in her pregnancy, the sister-in-law was in short supply of both of these behaviors.