Redditor preggoweddingaita is currently pregnant with her third child, and this pregnancy is the worst one yet.
Recently the Original Poster (OP) and her husband went to a wedding.
After not feeling well for awhile, the OP told her husband she wanted to leave and requested he join her in case she needed him to take care of her.
After she fell asleep quickly after arriving back at the hotel, the OP and her husband got into a bit of a disagreement.
This led her to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA For making my husband leave a wedding reception with me”
She went on to explain.
“My husband [34-year-old Male] and I [32-year-old Female] have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids (6 & 4).”
“I am currently 7-months pregnant with our 3rd child. This has been by far my worse pregnancy.”
“Overall health-wise, me and baby are fine, no major issues. But the general fatigue and discomfort of being pregnant while also having 2 other kids to take care of is wearing on me.”
“I’ve also had more nausea and terrible heartburn.”
“As a result of me being tired literally all the time, my husband has had to take on a lot of additional household and childcare duties.”
“He’s been great about it and [things] are still running smoothly even though I can do about 1/3 of the household and kid stuff I usually do.”
“This past weekend we attended a wedding for one of my friends from college. My husband knows a lot of people in this friend group and he was really looking forward to some adult social interaction.”
“The wedding was a 3 hour drive from our place so he got his parents to babysit and booked a hotel so we wouldn’t have to drive home and could enjoy the reception.”
“I felt fine all day up until halfway through the reception. But it was like I hit a wall energy-wise and started getting terrible heartburn.”
“My husband was off mingling with people while I pretty much just sat at a table for over an hour talking with whoever came by to say hi.”
“My husband came over to check on me and I told him that I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to leave.”
“He asked if I would be comfortable taking the shuttle back to the hotel by myself so that he could stick around and keep socializing.”
“I told him I want him to come back to the room with me in case I start feeling worse so that he can take care of me.”
“He didn’t protest or argue with me, but he did give a big sigh in the ‘Ugh, ok fine’ kind of way. When we got back to the room, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep immediately.”
“He was short with me all morning as we were getting ready to leave. A lot of one-word answers kind of stuff.”
“On the way home I asked him what his deal was and he said he’s frustrated that I ‘made’ him go back to the room with me only for me to fall asleep.”
“He said if he knew I was just going to fall asleep, he would have stayed at the reception for longer.”
“He said that this was the first social interaction he’s had in months and with the new baby coming, will probably be his last social interaction like that for months again.”
“I told him that I didn’t ‘make’ him come back with me, I just told him I wanted him to in case I felt worse.”
“I also told him my health should be his priority over any social event anyway.”
“He said that wasn’t really giving him a choice because if he stayed, even if I fell asleep right away like I did, I would still hold it against him that he ‘chose wrong.’”
“He said he was just enjoying behaving like an adult instead of a dad for one night and he’s allowed to be frustrated that was cut short.”
“It might just be hormones, but his attitude is making me feel guilty about this.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“YTA. You had heartburn, ffs. You weren’t dying. You ruined his night, and it sounds like you did it out of jealousy and selfishness.” – lihzee
“YTA.”
‘I told him I want him to come back to the room with me in case I start feeling worse so that he can take care of me.’ – yea, I mean, did you *make* him? No, you didn’t push him out of the reception.”
‘I told him that I didn’t “make” him come back with me, I just told him I wanted him to in case I felt worse**. I also told him my health should be his priority over any social event anyway**.’”
“So, didn’t make him but sure applied a ton of emotional pressure to get the outcome you wanted.”
“Well, you didn’t give him much of an option to say no without him feeling horrible about it bc then he’d have to likely hear about it if he *hadn’t* come back.”
“Clearly, this event was meaningful to him – and his reasons are valid.” – Unable-Ad148
“YTA. You are a big girl and could’ve taken the shuttle to the hotel. If you started to feel worse, you could’ve called him.”
“Seems like this night meant a lot to him, and you could not care less. Yes, you are pregnant but it doesn’t mean he is there to be your handmaid. You ruined his night, YTA.” – Eliza-Day
“YTA- as a woman, I really have to wonder what it is with pregnant women who have mild symptoms thinking they have to be treated like princesses.”
“You’re lucky he has picked up the slack as you’re having fatigue and some heartburn. Which BTW is resolved by sleep and Tums.”
“Most women don’t get that kind of support. Judging by your precious princess act while you’re pregnant, The guy deserved a little socializing.”
“He is going to be neck-deep in diapers while you complain about your fatigue after that baby is born…” – ArizonaDesertChild
“YTA. Yeah, you did make him come back to the room, and yes, you should feel guilty. You should have let him stay and have some adult time.”
“If an emergency arose that required his assistance, there is a marvelous invention called a *cell phone.* You could have easily called him if you needed him.” – FloMoJoeBlow
“I cannot understand how you can write all this story with the information given without realizing that you are indeed the AH here ?”
“Your husband is your partner, not your servant or your nurse.”
“As much as he is taking care of you (and he is, according to you), you should take care of him, starting by showing a little concern for his emotional wellbeing.” – eric_tai
“YTA. You said yourself how much he contributed and leveled up through the past months.”
“You could have taken the shuttle and asked him to have his phone at hand in case you feel worse so you can reach him.”
“I can understand how he was annoyed, spending the evening alone (you sleeping) in a hotel room while he was missing out on social interaction.”
“Honestly, I probably would have written a note and left, going back to the wedding, but that’s me being petty.” – Happy_Train9408
“YTA”
“We all know taking care of you means catering to you, and tbh, what could he have possibly done for you that a phone call to reception couldn’t have handled?”
“So glad you guys drove three hours and got a hotel room for him to watch you sleep.” – MiaMai13
“My husband’s best friend was a groomsman at our wedding.”
“His wife (also seven months pregnant at the time) was aware that he wanted to stay later and socialize, especially since he was in the wedding party.”
“Immediately after dinner (before dessert), she started to feel tired as well and asked him to accompany her to leave back to hotel. No health issues, just wanted him to accompany her back.”
“He said no, and it led to a fight between the two. Now, keep in mind there were other issues leading up to this day where he felt it was always her way or the highway, among other things.”
“But he always tells us that our wedding day was the day he knew his marriage was over.”
“Not saying you two will end up in divorce, OP, but continued selfish behavior takes a toll. YTA, it was heartburn ffs. You can call the hotel front desk for some tums.” – Stasia177
Best of luck to the OP.