Our ideas of gender continues progressing with time.
But, some people still subscribe to traditional gender roles. And7 they even try to project those ideas to their children or grandchildren.
However, being upset about another person’s gender or their expression is not okay.
Redditor Effective_Buffalo_43 encountered this very issue with her mother. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for telling my mom she can’t see her grandson unless she changes her attitude?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband (33) and I (31) are pregnant with our first child after trying for a year now. We found out that we’re having a baby boy and we’re so thrilled.”
“We decided that we were going to do a small gender reveal party. My mom always wanted a granddaughter she even wore all pink to the gender reveal.”
“When the blue confetti came out everyone cheered except for my mom. She decided to leave and go home so I didn’t see her the whole rest of the party.”
OP’s mom took to social media to share her disappointment.
“After the party, I decided to get on Social Media the first thing that popped up was a post from my mom saying ‘Worst day ever.'”
“When someone asked what was going on she replied: ‘My daughter is having a boy when I wanted it to be a girl but I guess it’s okay.'”
“I called my mom and I told her that unless she changes that attitude then she can’t see her grandson and she just screamed at me but I kept it firm. My husband and in laws agree with me but other relatives called me an Asshole.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Imagine a grown up acting like a petulant child who didn’t get their own way. I’m sure she’ll come around, but be on guard that she doesn’t eventually show favoritism to any future granddaughters. You may need to continue to protect your son from this woman.” ~ NorthernLitUp
“OP, it’s okay for your mom to be disappointed, but it’s not okay for her to complain about it publicly. I’ve seen a lot of AITA posts about husbands/fathers being disappointed that they are having a girl (or that they have all girls and no boys) and they are roundly (and correctly) branded as AHs.”
“Your mom is as well, for the same reason. Hold firm on your boundary. NTA.” ~ Anonymotron42
“My wife and I wanted a girl after having 3 boys and 1 girl (no in house playmates), and I was disappointed for a few minutes, but neither of us ever complained to other people or told our son we wanted a girl. We embraced it and never looked back.”
“Ok, well, my wife still talks of adopting a little girl (even just yesterday), but we don’t regret our son one bit.”