When you’re pregnant you want life to be as calm as possible.
You especially want your meals the way you want them.
So why do people often feel the need to butt in?
Nothing good comes from it.
Case in point…
Redditor dadof2throwWay wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for taking my wife’s side after she screamed and cursed at my mother?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This just happened and my wife is currently sleeping while my mom is blowing up my phone.”
“I (33 M[ale]) am married to my wonderful wife Melody (29 F[emale]) and she is currently pregnant with our first child together.”
“I have a 6-year-old daughter Tina whose mother and I split custody 50/50.”
“So I know for the most part what Melody needs in order to feel supported while she carries our child.”
“I have been spending lots of time making sure she’s comfortable and taking on more of the load at home so she’s not doing too much.”
“This is her first child after all and it’s obviously a lot for her physically and emotionally.”
“My mother and Melody don’t get along too well.”
“My mom didn’t like my ex either (we broke up because we were headed on different paths, not because of my mother and there’s no bad blood).”
“So I think she just doesn’t like her because she’s dating me for whatever reason, it’s weird.”
“She’s very nit-picky about Melody, how much she does around the house, how emotional she is, etc.”
“Melody already cries very easily and being pregnant has made her even more sensitive which is fine.”
“Also the fact that she wants to be a stay-at-home mom… it just seems like nothing Melody does is okay.”
“I do however stand up for her and do not just allow my mom to talk down to her.”
“Today before picking up my daughter from summer camp Melody went to 3 different grocery stores to find rotisserie chicken.”
“She’s been talking about it since last night and really really wanted one lol.”
“She sent me picture messages documenting her quest for the chicken and finally found it.”
“My girl was HAPPY!”
“Rotisserie chicken is also kind of a comfort food for her like spaghetti because her mom used to make one of those when she was ‘having a lazy day’ and didn’t feel like cooking.”
“She was planning on serving that with some other basic sides for dinner, perfectly fine by me.”
“My mother came by to see Tina and started telling Melody the chicken is bad for her and she should not be eating that pregnant.”
“Melody said it’s fine, she usually eats healthy and just wants this one thing she’s craving.”
“My mom went on about how unhealthy it was and said she needs to eat something else.”
“Melody said no and went to the backyard to FaceTime her family (out of state).”
“When she came back my mom had thrown out the food and ordered take-out.”
“A salad for Melody and pizza for everyone else.”
“Melody asked where the chicken was and my mother told her she needs to start being a responsible mother and eat correctly for the baby.”
“Melody screamed ‘WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SUCH A B**CH TO ME?'”
“She then started crying and called me home.”
“I came back and asked my mother to leave after hearing her story and said she is not to come back until she apologizes for how she treated Melody.”
“My mom went on about how I’m choosing another woman over her, but I just think enough is enough and Melody reached her limit.”
“She apologized to me for blowing up when Tina was in the house, but I told her it’s okay things happen.”
“Tina is okay and I went to find her another chicken before the store closed.”
“My dad thinks I’m right for taking Melody’s side but my brother thinks I should always defend mom.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Glad you went on a hunt for a chicken to replace the one your mother trashed.”
“Great husbanding on your end OP.”
“WTF is wrong with your mom though?” ~ CrystalQueen3000
“It sucks but consequences.”
“The faster you enact consequences and make her understand you’re serious the sooner she will probably realize you’re serious and start respecting you as an adult.”
“I see so many posts from people who pussyfoot around actually enacting boundaries and consequences and they ruin their marriages because a person can only take so much.”
“The sooner you show you’re a grown man and always support your wife.”
“The sooner your mother will understand her role. Hopefully anyways.” ~ ObjectiveLocksmith4
“NTA brother might be no contact too, ‘defend your mom no matter what???'” ~ MayoBear
“My mom told me shortly before my wedding that ‘forsaking all others’ doesn’t just mean not cheating.”
“It means putting your spouse ahead of, for example, your parents.”
‘That’s an oversimplification – it was a very long conversation and made much more sense when she said it than how I’ve typed it.”
“Anyway, I think about that when I read threads featuring this type of overstepping M[other] I[n] L[aw].”
NTA. Best to OP and Melody.” ~ mcatem87
“I’m not even pregnant, and I still eat like Hobbitses… breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, tea, supper.”
“I’m also a strong advocate for brunch, linner (late lunch, early dinner) and brinner (breakfast for dinner). Fed is best.”
OP’s self-appointed food police can eff off, and second dinners are approved!” ~ finelytunedradar
“Please read your own post.”
“Your mother doesn’t like your ex or Melody.”
“Your mother accused you of choosing Melody over her.”
“It would appear your mother doesn’t want you in a relationship that threatens her primacy in your life.”
“Most telling is that your father thinks your mother is TA.” ~ mmcksmith
OP came back to chat…
“EDIT: Okay not to be that guy but I did NOT expect this to get so much attention?”
“I woke up to so many notifications and I’m going to try to go through as many as I can but wow thank you guys for all the support and awards!”
“Melody loves all the kind messages from all of you especially the ‘mamas and soon-to-be mamas who get it’ as she put it lol.”
“My mom claimed it was the seasonings and fat/grease that made the chicken bad for her.”
“It’s all BULL, but that’s what she claimed.”
“I do plan on having a sit down with both my parents and my brother with my mom.”
‘A LOT of you have mentioned emotional incest (which is creeping me out) and other things along those lines that need to be addressed.”
“I’ll talk to my dad first then have a family meeting.”
“A lot of you asked why I would still want my mom around and honestly maybe I’m just weak but that’s my mother.”
“However if she cannot learn to change and respect my family, then we will just have to go no contact.”
“It’s hard but it is what it is.”
“Melody doesn’t even want to completely cut her out she just wants change as well.”
“But I will protect Melody at all costs and if that means cutting off my mom then so be it.”
“My ex and I did not break up because of my mother.”
“We had different ideas of where our lives were going.”
“Tina was not planned and we were already heading towards going our separate ways before she got pregnant.”
“We tried to make it work for Tina but that’s not what relationships are about, so we split and it’s working great.”
“My ex and Melody get along great.”
“Tina is happy and we work through things as one big blended family.”
“My ex and Melody have talked about my mother with each other before and that was when I realized I needed to see a therapist to work through my childhood with a mom like mine.”
“It’s a process.”
“I’m working through it the best I can.”
“Some people asked about our culture, we are all Black Americans.”
“So I think it’s more of a mom/son thing than a cultural thing.”
“Melody’s pregnancy is going smoothly for the most part!”
“Just ‘exhausting and emotional’ as she put it.”
“Also, we’re having a girl!”
“We had our gender reveal last week for those who were wondering and thank you for all the well wishes! #GirlDad”
“Thanks for everyone who recommended we get a Costco card, that way she won’t have to go on another chicken quest.”
Well OP, you are definitely winning husband and dad awards.
Sometimes parents need to be put in their place.
It’s not easy and may be awkward, but sometimes it must be done.
Congratulations and good luck.