We can all agree that long trips can be frustrating and uncomfortable, especially if we're seated in a small car or with less legroom on a flight.
But just because we're uncomfortable doesn't mean we're entitled to someone else's comfort, pointed out the "
Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor CLwTCHMLK-3Y was a tall man taking a 12-hour flight, so he knew that the best option for him was to book a more expensive plane ticket, so he'd have more legroom for the flight.
But when a pregnant woman tried to guilt him out of the seat he paid for, so she could be more comfortable instead, the Original Poster (OP) couldn't help but feel conflicted about the situation.
He asked the sub:"AITAH for refusing to give up my seat for a pregnant woman on a 12-hour flight?"
The OP was asked to switch seats during a long flight."I (28 Male) recently took a 12-hour flight from New York City to Hawaii. I paid months in advance for a comfortable seat with extra room, which cost me about $200 extra points." "Before takeoff, a visibly pregnant woman was walking up and down towards the front of the plane. She and a flight attendant looked around for a moment, talked a bit, and then the lady approached me, asking if I would be willing to switch seats with her due to her condition." "I politely declined. I explained that I had specifically booked this seat because I’m pretty long (I’m 6’4 tall) and that I needed the extra comfort and space." "The attendant seemed understanding and went to ask other passengers near me, but no one volunteered." "If I had agreed, they would have reimbursed me for the extra cost via a flight voucher, so my ticket would have been the cost of a normal economy ticket. I'm not certain if the pregnant lady would have had to pay extra to switch with me because I just politely declined a few times, and we didn't get into that level of detail."The pregnant woman tried to blame the OP for her situation."While the attendant was still asking other passengers, I felt like I was the only one giving the pregnant woman any attention." "The pregnant lady then told me I wouldn’t understand what it feels like to be a woman carrying a baby in this summer heat, got upset, and eventually had to return to her seat in the back."The OP felt conflicted."Throughout the flight, I felt awkward passing by her every time on the way to the bathroom. When I landed, I couldn’t help but feel guilty." "I’m a young man without the burden of carrying a child in me and totally could’ve sacrificed a bit, and so I wondered if I had been wrong to prioritize my comfort over someone who might have needed it more.""So, AITAH for refusing to give up my seat for this pregnant woman on a long-haul flight?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that he had a right to his comfort, as well. "NTA. I've got a whole vertebra slipped forward and before back surgery (where I got 6 screws and 4 rods), trying to sit in the economy section was absolute torture and would have me practically in tears on a two-and-a-half-hour flight between Denver and California." "I've had two kids, one of which was two weeks overdue. So I can compare the pain between the two. The back pain was worse." "Just because your problem isn't visible doesn't mean she's entitled to boot you from your seat. There were a whole lot of other passengers that could have moved. And even without the back pain, and no matter the length of the flight, she wasn't entitled to your seat." "You booked your seat and paid the extra money so you could have more room. No doubt she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight, so if she needed the roomier seat, she should have booked one." - Amazing_Reality2980
"I have invisible disabilities and I am horrified over scenarios like this. Someone accidentally bumping into me will cause significant health problems so I stake out areas with personal social bubbles immediately for self-preservation, such as booking the larger seats away from foot traffic. I'm not in the mood to land in the ER over someone else being careless." "Also, I am offended that someone's entitled wants (to have kids) are hung over my needs (to avoid further injury and complications) by culture and society's expectations. The other party has the ability to control their decisions in travel choice and they chose economy poorly, so that's a THEM problem." "NTA." - Wooden_Stomach1884
"NTA. This whole thing of shaming people who don't want to switch seats has got to stop. It's nobody's d**n business, whether you paid for your seat or not, if you don't want to switch." "Especially if you did pay to choose your seat, nobody has the right to be angry if you aren't going to trade it with somebody else who did not plan ahead and fork over the money like you did." - PopularFunction5202
"I have a spinal injury, you can not tell by looking at me, but I cannot sit in economy without ending up having severely painful spasms, I always pay extra for the better seating because of this, and it is pretty normal for someone to request I trade seats." "When I say no, I get major attitude and I am sick of it. My response now is hell no. I fly as little as possible because it has become a thing that always happens and I am so fed up." "OP, you did nothing wrong. NTA." - itisallbsbsbs
"I probably would have agreed (hard to know, I'm not super tall so don't know what it is like flying as a tall person) if asked just by a flight attendant. I probably would have refused if they brought the person up with them because I'd be annoyed at the attempt to manipulate me, and would react by doing the opposite of what they were trying to manipulate me into." - cant_think_of_one
"I’m only 6’1” and fly to Asia often. It sucks, hard. H**l, flying anywhere sucks and I also have back issues." "I know you feel bad, but you did the right thing. She wanted a free upgrade and wanted to guilt the person she thought would acquiesce. If it’s any consolation, I would still be feeling terrible, too." - Whatfforreal
Others agreed and stated that the pregnant woman could have booked other seats."Maybe I'm an AH myself for thinking this, but she obviously knew she was going to be uncomfortable as a pregnant woman on that flight when she booked her tickets (unless she booked them incredibly early), and at that point, she should have made plans for her own comfort." "Instead, she was most likely hoping to save herself some money by playing on the empathy of gate agents and/or flight attendants to bump her up to first class so she wouldn't have to pay for the upgraded seat." "OP you are NTA for keeping your seat. Not even close." - evilwife21
"NTA. You paid for that seat, and she paid for hers. She could have booked a different class if she wanted to. Most likely she knew she would be this pregnant when she booked the flight. It is unfortunate the situation she is in, truly, but unless a medical emergency were happening I’m not sure why you would be expected to give up your seat." - princessgirl069
"She had the same options at booking that you did." "Plus, when you fly 150-200K a year, so-called 'little' things like extra room and early boarding just make more of a difference. I'm spending loads of time in these little tubes at 35K feet." "I don't get what it's like to be preggers? You bet I don't, no more than you understand what it's like to spend 20+hrs a week flying." "NTA. Not even close." - sideways92
"This is exactly why every time I see 'AITAH for not changing seats on a plane,' my auto-response is always NTA. And every story gets me irked, because d**n, just pay the extra or suck it up. Stop trying to guilt trip people at 35,000 feet." "Also, airlines need to change their policies about this considering that it’s irritating the passengers who paid EXTRA that gate agents and flight attendants are not allowed to ask anyone to switch seats if that seat is in premium economy on up." - prosperosniece
"NTA." "She had the option of purchasing a more comfortable seat. Unless Delta was willing to compensate you for the seat-swap I would not expect you to just 'gift' her your seat." "I had done seat swaps before and United always took care of me. I pay extra for the better seats and do not want to be crunched into some cubbyhole for twelve hours." - Tishers
"NTA. I'm a 5'11" woman who has carried an 11lb baby to 42 weeks. It's uncomfortable, but planes are air-conditioned, and having extra legroom doesn't fix what's bothering you when you're pregnant." "My husband is 6'5 and his femur simply doesn't fit in a normal plane seat. If he sits in the aisle he gets kneecapped by the drinks cart. I always sit next to him so he can spill over into my space (or our kids do)." "You have to take care of you, too, OP. NTA." - procrast1natrix
The subReddit understood that either of these people would be uncomfortable at the back of the plane for this length of a flight, but they also importantly pointed out that both people had an opportunity to book the seats they wanted, and only the OP seemed to think the situation through.
However, even though the OP got the "better" seat, some also pointed out that the pregnant woman likely also got the seat that was better for her. Though it would have less legroom, it was closer to the restroom, which any pregnant woman will need on a longer flight, whereas a man may not.
