Dogs are wonderful creatures.
Obviously, every dog is different just like people are and some will rub you the wrong way.
What happens, though, when a friend in desperate need asks you to care for a dog that you flat-out do not like?
That was the issue facing a Redditor and Original Poster (OP) when they came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
The user, who has since deleted both their username and the post, asked:
"AITA For not adopting my dying best friends dog and buying a puppy from a breeder instead?"
OP began with grim news.
"My best friend is dying of cancer."
"He could pass away any moment."
Puppies always help, right?
"Today, I was visiting and showed him a picture of the German Shepard puppy I just put a security deposit on. It will be ready to take home in 4 weeks."
"I've always wanted a German Shepard puppy, so I was excited to show him the pictures—and I thought maybe the pictures would bring him at least a moment of joy—even if the moment was fleeting."
Maybe not.
"But instead of sharing my excitement, things became awkward."
"After a few minutes of awkwardness—I asked him what was wrong."
"I was blindsided by his response."
"He said that his cousin, who was supposed to take his 2-year-old Pug named 'Horace' could no longer take him and I could save a lot of money by taking his dog."
OP then got specific about Horace...
"I looked over at Horace and he looked backed at me."
"Well, he tried to look at me—but he's got one wondering eye that pretty much is always looking towards the ceiling."
"I could feel his glare with his good eye though."
"Horace is not a good dog."
"This is not me being an a**hole—this is simply me knowing Horace."
"He's a little sh*t and on top of that—he sh*ts in the house, and he tears stuff up."
"He's always yapping."
"He's always wanting something."
"He doesn't even know what he wants. He literally just wants to want something. Nonstop."
"He was never properly trained."
...and the breed in general.
"Overall, I'm not a fan of the 'Pug' dog breed."
"Their faces look like it's been hit with a shovel."
"They are always gasping for air with their eyes bulged out as if they are stranded without a space helmet in the Martian atmosphere."
"I told my friend, 'No, thank you. But, I will try to help you find him a good home.'"
'"Really?' He says. 'Are you f-ing kidding me? You've known Horace since he was a puppy. "'
'"I know, that's why I don't want him. He's just—not a good dog."'
'"Wow. You are such an a**hole.' My friend says."
OP was left to wonder,
"So AITA?"
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: YTA
Commenters were concerned for the dog.
"Please contact a pug rescue and tell them of the circumstances."
"They will reassure your best friend they will find a loving home for their Puggie" ~ Proud_Pug
"Yep."
"There are LOTS of people out there looking to adopt a pug, especially a healthy 2-year-old."
"I hope Horace finds a good home with people who will love him and train him properly." ~ citoyenne
"If their friend is in the US and in hospice care, they should tell the social workers."
"This is something they frequently help the family with."
"My mom is a semi-retired social worker, and they are basically there to support the family through this very difficult time:"
"What they are feeling, end of life planning, placing pets, trying to figure out the right people to contact, finacial aid, like, you name it, and they will do their best to make it happen or at least find the right people that can help the family." ~ Rdbjiy53wsvjo7
Sometimes how you say it can be more important than what you say.
"Yta not for saying no but for not approaching it with more compassion."
"I realize he caught you by surprise, but he's probably really, really worried about Horace's future."
"You should tell him that your lifestyle is incompatible with Horace's needs but that you will do everything that you can to help Horace find a Person or persons who will love him in a way that you can't."
"Someone out there will adore him, and as his best friend, you can reassure him that you will look out for Horace when he's gone."
"Make a dying man happy, please." ~ whynousernamelef
"I've found that when someone puts me in an awkward position with a question like that, it's ok to say:"
""I hadn't considered that, I need to think about it, I'll let you know in X time' and you agree on what is a reasonable timeline to make such a decision for both parties."
"It shows you've given it thought and gives you time to formulate a potential 'no' compassionately.
"I understand the time pressure with a dying friend, but you're still under no obligation to make a major decision with such pressure." ~ tipsykilljoy
"Came here to say this. Semi-YTA."
"Your best friend doesn't want you to take the dog. They want peace of mind."
"Since these are your BFFs dying days, all of these worries become big worries."
"Say you will take Horace and take care of him until you find him a good home."
"It's your best friend!! Who tf cares if you like pugs or not."
"ETA:"
"I said 'semi' and that IMO the best thing to do if you don't want to adopt the dog permanently."
"I think the best thing to do is to tell him that you will gladly take the dog while you find him a good home."
"I think saying to a dying man that you 'don't want' their beloved dog because 'yeah, they just aren't a good dog' is an a**hole move."
"People have very strong feelings about their pets, and I can see the BFF taking offense to this response."
"A better response would have been:"
"I know Horace since he was a puppy, and I don't think we're a good fit, but of course, I would take him while I find him a home that is a good fit for him."
"And reassure him that you will do your best. No one is forcing a dog on anyone but surely... you could do your bff that favor?" - zucchinidonut
Many pointed out OP's misunderstanding of the dog breed he owns now.
"LOL - you sweet summer child... "
"You are in for quite a surprise when you bring that German Shepherd puppy home if you have a hard time dealing with Horace."
"That said, ESH. You are not obligated to take someone else's dog."
"I don't like Pugs either - too many health issues and not something I'd want to take on."
"However, you could have dealt with it in a kinder way, given the situation. Your response was definitely a-holeish." ~ Jonquil73
"I get not wanting Horace, but German Shepards are high energy high needs dogs."
"OP is in for a shock!" ~ Fianna9
Not everyone felt that OP was out of line.
"Unpopular option here- NTA."
"The OP said that they would help find the dog a good home, and I think that's the best scenario."
"You wouldn't want your dog to go to a home where it is unwanted."
"I think it's better for everyone in this situation if the dog is rehoused where it will be loved and appreciated."
"If the OP does not want the dog- they should not be forced to take it or seen as an AH." ~ shitpoet99
"NAH."
"You're allowed to want whatever dog you want."
"People on here saying, 'You should've given this perfect, diplomatic answer!' are sitting behind their phones with as much time in the world as they want to come up with a response, not being blindsided by a dying friend."
"Your friend is also concerned about what will happen to his dog."
"He wasn't graceful in his approach, but... You know, he's dying."
"I'm willing to cut him some slack." ~ d1rkgent1y
"Yeah somehow being direct and speaking facts makes you an A H?"
"Totally agree with your answer. Adopting a dog is like choosing a partner for many years."
"Everyone is better off when you choose someone you truly want."
"OP wants a specific breed, great!"
"People attacking OP like 'omg you're in for a ride bc it's a puppy or it's a specific breed' maybe haven't calculated that when it's something you want you have more patience for it?"
"NAH" ~ YDKftw
Dogs are as unique as people.
I've had dogs that were kind and calm and others that were hyper and destructive.
None of these dogs were bad. They just required different levels of attention and different kinds of care.
Just like people.
The problem here wasn't declining the offer - you have to have a partner - animal or otherwise - that compliments you and who you compliment.
The problem was the cruelty that came with OP's refusal - telling a dear dying friend that their beloved animal wasn't good enough to be cared for.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.