Not everyone is a chef.
In fact, many people should never touch a stove.
But sometimes we may want to give it a try.
It’s always good to start small and slow.
And a heads-up to those we love might be in order.
Case in point…
Redditor CarrotOk5539 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for insulting the food my wife made, despite not knowing she made it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I will try to keep it short.”
“My wife and I are 46 and 47.”
“We’ve been married 19 years now and not once in our marriage has she ever cooked.”
“I honestly never minded. She’s told me that she’s terrible in the kitchen, and I like to do it anyway.”
“Yesterday, I had a long long day at work and told my wife this.”
“She told me she would order food in so I didn’t have to cook.”
“I come home, and she sets the table; the food is neatly placed on two plates (which should have been my first clue that it was home-cooked), and I began to dig in.”
“The food was bland, borderline gross, and nothing to what I had tasted before.”
“My head was already pounding. I was not in the mood for some shi**y food.”
“I just looked up from the food and told her, ‘This f**king sucks. Please don’t order from this place again.'”
“She got really quiet and then sad.”
“I asked if everything was okay, and she said yes.”
“She still seemed off the whole dinner.”
“After dinner, I wouldn’t stop bothering her.”
“Wouldn’t stop asking her what’s wrong.”
“Until she finally snapped and told me she cooked the food, it wasn’t ordered.”
“She said she was sorry and she won’t cook for me again, and I could see her tearing up.”
“She went right to bed.”
“I had to leave early the next day, so she was asleep.”
“I asked a buddy of mine for advice, and he said I shouldn’t have talked about anybody’s food that way.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA? Or honest mistake?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. She literally told you she was ordering food. You had no reason to believe she had made it, she lied to you.”
“It’s fine to talk that way about ordered food at home. The chef isn’t there to hear you, and you’re making sure the person who ordered knows the place is bad so they don’t order from there again.”
“I doubt if you knew she’d made it, you would have said it.” ~ yukidaviji
“I wouldn’t even say that.”
“OP was misinformed more than he was mistaken.”
“He made all the right choices relative to what he had every reason to believe was true.”
“His wife made a mistake and misled OP, and as a consequence of her mistake, he was misinformed about who made the food and judged it.”
‘He judged it appropriate to the standards he applies to take out food – which is what she led him to believe it was.”
“The thing she’s upset about is completely her own fault and of her own making.” ~ Mantisfactory
“OP is NTA for denouncing shi**y take-out.”
“OP made a mistake and it doesn’t make him an a**hole, it just means he had a miscommunication with his wife.”
“Apologize, buy her some seasoning (probably won’t help things, but hey – c’mon, life’s too short for bland food), and make right by her.” ~ AbbeyCats
“The wife accidentally set herself up for this one, unfortunately.”
“The bars for ‘professionally prepared food that I paid money for’ and ‘my culinary challenged spouse’s first attempt at cooking food for me in almost two decades’ are at completely different heights.”
“The response was in line with the expectations.”
“Now that the quiche is out of the oven, though, OP needs to apologize and make good.” ~ sdp82
“If people consider ‘it f**king sucks’ as aggressive, I’m guessing they don’t watch too many R-rated movies, or they just don’t swear?”
“I dunno seems like a perfect description of bad food.”
“Unfortunately, his wife made dinner instead of getting takeout, so I can understand why she’s upset.”
“But OP is still NTA because he didn’t have that fact ahead of time.”
“Had OP known she cooked it, that would be a very different story.”
“All he needs to do is apologize and say he assumed she ordered out again.” ~ DarkBluePhoenix
“Absolutely. An undercooked steak from a restaurant is getting sent back.”
“An undercooked steak from a family member will be eaten without complaints. “
“When you pay for your food to be correct, you’re allowed to be picky.” ~ ImMeloncholy
“Adding to this – yes, if I was your wife, I would be sad BUT (hard but) since she never cooks, it probably would have been helpful for her to tell you.”
“Not trying to victim blame, but you said order out, she cooked instead; if she had said something like ‘I made this and hope it’s good,’ I am 100% sure you would have been kinder and probably appreciated it more.”
“Like, when my kids make a piece of art, I can absolutely say it’s great because they are children, and the standards are lower frankly.”
‘If I were buying art, I probably would not buy it and say it’s amazing if it looks like something a 3rd grader would do. It’s all about expectations.” ~ reegasaurus
“NTA. (1) You didn’t know she cooked it, and many people will order takeout but take the time to plate it, I know my partner and I do when we share something we ordered from a restaurant or if the to go box is flimsy/broken.”
“(2) Whether it was ordered or home-cooked, you don’t have to pretend you love it.”
“When my partner and I cook, if we don’t like something about what the other person cooked, we tell them.”
“Albeit, both of us can actually cook, so it’s usually just like, ‘Hey, you overcooked the shrimp’ or ‘You should use less paprika next time?'”
“But we’ve both had occasions where one of us cooked something, and it turned out awful so we’d be honest and say, ‘Hey, this sucks, don’t cook it again.'”
“If you lie and say you liked it, then the other person is just going to keep cooking that meal the same way, and then you’re stuck pretending to enjoy terrible food every time they cook it.”
“However, you should still apologize to your wife for hurting her feelings, and maybe suggest that y’all go to some couple’s cooking classes together.”
“Make them date nights, y’all can spend quality time doing something together and your wife can learn how to cook at the same time.” ~ 99dalmatianpups
“I’d say NAH as well but tack on one thing — even if his wife had ordered takeout, it might also have stung to hear that she didn’t choose a good place.”
“If my partner had a horrible day and I ordered him food in the hopes of making him feel better, then he said he hated it, I’d also feel like I failed him a bit.”
“So being gentle when your partner has tried to do something for you, regardless of who gets the blame for the bad food, is generally a safer policy!” ~ go-with-the-flo
“OP is asking whether they are an AH for criticizing the food that was presented.”
“No one is asking about whether OP should have been more polite.”
“All of these comments and votes about ‘He should have been nicer’ are completely irrelevant.”
“Could the pronouncement have used different words?”
“Of course, but that wasn’t the question.”
“I could point out that it’s been 19 years. Why hasn’t she learned how to cook? See?”
“Just as irrelevant.”
“OP didn’t like the food.”
“Was he an AH for stating that the food was terrible? No.”
“NTA. Answer the actual question.” ~ iowaiseast
“Honest mistake, NTA also your wife sounds lovely and cute 🥹 she tried.”
“I think if you explain for someone that doesn’t cook, she did a bloody decent job, and you probably could’ve added salt or something but you were tired.”
“LOL. You genuinely thought she paid a professional and got ripped off and you’d laugh about it like in the past and when she didn’t you couldn’t help but pester her because it’s uncommon and uncomfortable for you to see her down about something.”
“Then just remind her how much you appreciate her and all her efforts.” ~ ethrealBlat
OP came back to chat…
“I did not mean this in a derogatory way at all.”
“My wife and I have lived in the same area our entire marriage and very often come across an absolutely terrible takeout place.”
“It’s a thing we do, saying: God, this sucks.”
“Usually, the response is a laugh because we have a tally of the horrible places, and we find it funny.'”
“My fault for not specifying that.”
“Unrelated to the topic, but those of you shi**ing on my wife for not cooking are out of f**king line.”
“So what if she doesn’t want to cook a meal?”
“She doesn’t like it, I do.”
“So I do it.”
“She’s not stupid. She can learn if she wants to but does not have the enthusiasm.”
“If she really needs to, she will learn.”
“She can do whatever the f**k she wants because she helps doing other things that I wouldn’t like to do.”
“Comment about whatever you want but going after my wife not cooking is f**king pathetic.”
And then…
“Got home yesterday with flowers and a bottle of wine.”
“Sat her down and told her the food wasn’t restaurant quality, but I thought it was great for a beginner.”
“She said she’d like to learn a little bit of basic cooking, so I’m going to teach her whenever she wants to cook.”
“She laughed about it a little, about how bad the food was.”
“Thank you all for the advice.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You made an innocent comment.
No one here sounds like a villain.
It’s great your wife wants to start cooking lessons.
And be careful with the menu reviews.