When you split food with friends, who pays? Or is it a situation where you split the cost? What if it was never suggested that you were paying beforehand?
Redditor AITAthrowaway456123 found themselves in that exact situation when they went to visit their friends. One of the original poster’s (OP) friends’ roommates got food, and sent a Venmo request after.
OP doesn’t think they should have to pay, and has taken their situation to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to ask if they were wrong.
They’re wondering:
“AITA for refusing to pay a $1.36 Venmo request?”
This is why they feel justified:
“A couple days ago, I went to my friends house. I am friends with two guys that live there (they are brothers) and generally have good rapport with their roommate, who we’ll call D.”
“We decided to all have a night in and cook some food together, which we have done before. As we were making food, D decided he wanted some garlic bread from a local place around the corner.”
“I did not personally request this, but he said he was getting it for everybody and from my understanding, the cost came to about $5 total.”
“We had a great time and I drove home, about 35 mins away. Where I live has steep and unavoidable tolls, so I paid about $20 to get there and back. For the dinner, I brought a block of cheese (probably about $7) to contribute to the dinner.”
“When I got home, I noticed a $1.36 Venmo request from D for the garlic knots. I was surprised, since I had not requested them and he said they were for everyone.”
“He did not mention splitting the cost at any point. I feel as though this request is tacky, considering the time and money I spent traveling there in addition to the fact that I had contributed something to the dinner as well (which I was not expecting any type of compensation for).”
“Therefore, out of principle I don’t feel like it is fair to request me to pay for that, given everything mentioned. So Reddit, AITA?”
In an update, OP wanted to explain a few things, including why they brought up their personal cost to go over, and their relationship with D.
“Edit: Just wanted to clarify why I mentioned the tolls. I don’t expect anyone else to be responsible for my personal costs for transportation and it isn’t really a factor in my question.”
“The only reason I added it in was because when it comes to friends, I usually take into consideration the amount of effort/time/money they’ve spent to come to me, and factor that in. Anyways, thanks for all your comments guys!”
“Edit 2: I am not close to D and wouldn’t necessarily consider us friends, we just generally have decent interactions whenever he happens to be at the house.”
“Edit 3: I did eat some of the garlic knots, but the portions were divided equally amongst us.”
On the AITA board, people are judged for how they react in a given situation. Did they lose their cool, and make an ‘assumption’ of themselves? Or did they do the right thing?
This is determined by commenters with one of the following comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The consensus is that D didn’t set the expectation that the garlic knots would be split in cost. Maybe if he did, things would be different.
But in this case, OP is NTA.
“NTA wow petty of him. You did not agree to pay, or requested the item. It may be a small amount but it’s kinda the principal for me” – ComfortableZebra2412
“NTA”
“had D said i want to get the garlic bread can we spli the cost Ywbta but he did not up front. you have done nothing” – MinsAino
“NTA. If he had wanted to be compensated, he should have specified that before he bought it so you could either agree or decline.” – catsaway9
A number of commenters got some really good ideas to be petty. We’re not sure if enacting one of these would make OP the one wrong, but the commenters had a field day.
Who doesn’t like being a little petty now and then?
“Nta.”
“If it were me, I’d round it to $1.40 with the note ‘a little extra since times are apparently tough right now’.” – PolemicDysentery
“I am not typically a fan of petty – but this is so brilliant in execution, I absolutely love this idea. OP should do exactly this” – Lovehatepassionpain
“D! Nice!”
“Send him a Venmo requesting $1.75 for the cheese.”
“NTA” – BrokenFlowers7
“Nta. But my passive aggressive self would venmo the full amount of the garlic bread under the guise that you didn’t realise he was so broke and to save him the embarrassment of asking the other guys for it.”
“That’s so pathetically petty that I couldn’t help myself. 1.36 I mean cmon.” – whynousernamelef
OP was also initially active on the post, answering questions and clarifying why they said what they said. Answering these questions is probably what led to the updates earlier.
But it’s important that they know how it looked when they brought up the tolls and cheese.
“NTA. That’s awfully petty of your friend. A reasonable person would think that when somebody says they are going to order something for everyone they mean that they are going to pay for everyone. Otherwise they would say ‘does everyone want to go in with me on some garlic knots?’”
“But, and here is where I will be downvoted, your expenses to get there aren’t anyone else’s concern. You chose to go and so you chose to pay those expenses.”
“Personally, I don’t think you should have to pay. But if it was me, if I had even just one garlic knot I’d just pay.”
“The cost of my time and not fighting is, to me, worth the dollar and some change. But I’d also make sure that in the future if he ever wanted to ‘order for everyone’ he is made aware I won’t be putting in for something that I didn’t even want in the first place.” – CaroB_Melt
“I actually agree with you about the expense part. I just added it for extra context because I usually take into consideration how much effort a friend puts in to spend time with me (but maybe that’s just me).”
“I don’t expect anyone else to be responsible for my personal costs. I think you make valid points throughout! Thanks for your comment :)” – AITAthrowaway456123 (OP)
Like most issues in adulthood, the real problem is communication and setting expectations. D got the garlic knots assuming everyone else would split it, not even asking if the others agreed to that.
While there were some petty options suggested, OP deciding to just not pay it is probably fine. It gets the point across and they can discuss it with D if it becomes an issue.