in , , , ,

Wealthy Redditor Refuses To Save Abusive Parents’ House To Save Them From Homelessness

Couple looking at bills.
Jose Luis Pelaez Inc/Getty Images

Parents always lead by example.

Most parents knowingly do this, as a way to make sure their children properly learn to treat others with kindness and compassion, act responsibly, and make good decisions.

Neglectful parents also lead by example, but sadly don’t realize they’re doing so, often resulting in their children thinking certain unruly, sometimes abusive, behavior is okay.

Thankfully, most children are wise enough to know when their parents are being neglectful.

Including Redditor Broad-Basis6799, who after years of mistreatment by her parents wasted no time in moving out the moment they could, eventually becoming highly successful in their adult life.

So successful, in fact, that their parents called on her for help after hitting hard times.

However, feeling that they did not deserve their help after the way they treated her, the original poster (OP) refused to even consider helping them out.

Much to the shock and fury of their parents.

Wondering if they was being insensitive or unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing to help my parents with their mortgage ‘Forcing them to lose their home’ even though I can easily pay it off?”

The OP shared how they endured a childhood of neglect and mistreatment by her parents, which she still hadn’t forgotten well into adulthood.

“As children, my parents would buy my two brothers whatever they requested regardless of how expensive it was, allowed them to go on trips with them & threw them over-the-top birthday parties while I didn’t receive any.”

“For example, my brothers got to go to Disney for their birthday(s) while I stayed with my grandparents.”

“Fortunately my aunt/grandma took me to Disney a few months later.”

“After being called out, they said they couldn’t afford the trip for 5.”

“As we got a little older, my parents had us working in their business after school & weekends.”

“They gave both my brothers allowances for helping out while I didn’t receive anything, and was expected to do more.”

“I wish it was just financial abuse though, my parents always said very hurtful things, they’d make comments when I entered the room, and I honestly still don’t know what I did wrong.”

“When my brother graduated high school, they gave him an all-inclusive trip around Europe for the summer.”

“When I graduated the next year, I didn’t even get a party from them.”

“I think the worst of it being they paid for both my brothers higher education but told me to figure it out because they can’t afford to pay for 3 college degrees.”

“At 18 I moved in with my grandparents full time & decided not to go to college because I didn’t want to get into debt or put that burden on my grandparents, who offered to pay for some.”

“I did however take them up on their offer to financially support me until I had a job.”

“My grandma gifted me about 5k after moving in with her to help me start an online business I told her about.”

‘Long story short, my online shop blew up & made well over six figures my first year.”

“Within 5 years 2 online shops & a lot of investing in real estate & stocks I now make way more money than my parents ever made combined.”

“During the pandemic, my parents had to shut down their restaurant & are still struggling to make ends meet.”

“They are also unable to pay for their mortgage & are afraid they’ll go homeless if I don’t support them.”

“They also have a lot of medical bills after my father got into an accident and needed surgery for his knee.”

“I being so grateful for everything my grandparents and aunt have done for me decided to get my grandparents their dream home & paid off my aunt’s debts for medical school.”

“After realizing I can also easily afford to pay off their debts/mortgage, my parents have been begging me (literal tears) to save their home, but I refused.”

“They told me I am an a**hole & I deserved my upbringing & that I shouldn’t be punishing my siblings and forcing them out of their homes for the actions of my parents.”

“I’m not punishing my siblings though, I’ll be more than happy to support them (especially my baby sister) if she comes & stays with me or my grandparents.”

“I am 23 F[emale], my parents are 45f & 46M I have two brother (24 & 21) & A little sister, 8.”

“We grew up upper-middle class.”

“AITA for “watching them become homeless?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to help out her parents.

Everyone agreed that the OP was absolutely correct that the OP was under no obligation to help out her parents after the mistreatment they put her through, particularly as they showed no contrition and seemed to admit that they didn’t give her the love and attention she deserved as a child.


“As soon as you refused, the mask slipped.”

“They told you that you deserved their mistreatment.”-Thin_Difference8686


“Your parents if the whole account of them marginalizing you during childhood and KNOWINGLY preferring your siblings financially is true.”

“Then they have reaped what they have sowed.”

“And using their own sh*tty parenting history as ‘you deserved that’ retroactively is a wild thing to say.”

“LOL, some logical leaps right there.”

“They in fact deserve you to not give them money.”- HoxtonLover


“So they know full well they mistreated you and expect you to help them regardless?”

“They’re definitely TA.”

“You did everything without any backing from them.”

“Just because you’ve chosen to help people who helped you doesn’t mean the ones who didn’t are entitled to your support as well.”- lizfour


“If your parents need help tell them to ask your brothers.”

“They invested so much into their upbringing, they should be able to finance your parents’ life (sarcasm).”

“Don’t let yourself be used as an atm.”- chaotine


“I’m amazed that they’re admitting to the sh*tty treatment they unloaded on you.”

“Stand firm.”

“If you’re feeling petty suggest that your brothers help financially with all the money they made at the family business and the extra income from their degrees.”

“Karma baby!”- Thrwwy747


“They are terrible parents.”- FinnFinnFinnegan

“Look over there!”

“It’s karma!”

“NTA.”- Beck2010

“No this is their sh*tty parenting coming back and biting them in the a**.”

“Why not ask the kids they gave money to, to save the house.”

“NTA.”- junkiecreppermint


“Why don’t they ask your precious brothers to help them?”

“You did a smashing job OP, and I hope your business continues to thrive.”- llamasfartIveheardit


“If they make the comment about deserving your upbringing again, ask them if it was worth it from their end now.”- ZoomZoomZachAttack


“In principle, children don’t owe their parents a thing.”

“For you times 1000!”

“Have you any idea, why you were singled out to receive nothing throughout your childhood?”

“It sounds so toxic, and I am very sorry you had to go through that.”

“Your parents can move into a shelter and kick some rocks.”- SnooSprouts6712


“You reap what you sow.”

“Where are the 2 brothers they gave so much to help them out?”- dazed1984


“The giant red flag here is how they told you that you, a child, deserved how you were treated.”

“They admitted that they treated you like an unwanted hanger-on.”

‘Somewhere in their brains, they have a nonsensical reason why that was okay.”

“I’m guessing that you were kind of a stress toy?”

“Enjoying positive emotions with the golden child(ren) and dumping negative emotions on the scapegoat is a way that inadequate parents cope with life.”

“So don’t give them a cent.”

“Because if you let them, they would hollow you out and leave you on the sidewalk.”

“Because, in their minds, that’s what you’re for.”

“If your little sister is in trouble, help her by paying for extracurriculars, counseling, or camps.”

“Don’t give any money to her parents.”

“Take care of your real parents, your grandparents.”- jennyislander

“NTA no matter what.”

“There is nothing wrong with letting them reap what they sowed.”

“But as I noted below, if your upbringing was based on sexism or misogyny and you have reason to believe your little sister will be exposed to the same toxic treatment, you might want to use the leverage you obviously have to get your little sister out of that situation.”- Material-Profit5923

It’s sad to think that had the OP’s parents shown her even the slightest bit more love and kindness when she was a child, she would likely have helped them out without a second thought.

Instead, they now are faced with the bitter taste of their own medicine. Bitter as it may be, it certainly seems fitting.

They have, indeed, reaped what they sowed.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.