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Redditor Refuses To Replace Nonstick Cookware After Girlfriend Who Can’t Cook Ruined Theirs

A woman cooks at the stove
Erik Nardini / EyeEm/GettyImages

One doesn’t have to be a chef to have nice kitchen utensils.

This is why people can be touchy about their cookware.

The way certain pots and pans are used and cleaned can make for a very serious conversation between couples, especially if one isn’t culinarily inclined.

Case in point…

Redditor Due-List806 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for replacing all the nonstick pans in our house with cast iron?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I know it’s a stupid question, but my girlfriend is mad at me.”

“Until she moved in with me, she always lived at home.”

“For some ungodly reason, her parents never taught her how to cook.”

“She can reheat food and make spaghetti and stuff.”

“But anything more complicated, like a fried egg, is hard for her.”

“I have silicone rubber utensils that I use on my nonstick pans.”

“It’s great. Clean up is so easy.”

“She took about two weeks to destroy all my nonstick pans.”

“She uses forks or a metal spatula to move and scrape the food.”

“I had taken the time to show her how to use the nonstick stuff.”

“I have shown her where all the utensils are. Didn’t matter.”

“She scraped off the nonstick coating.”

“So all the food she was making was sticking to the pan.”

“I have no idea how, but she managed to stick a grilled cheese sandwich to the pan.”

“She wants me to replace the pans. So I did.”

“I pulled my cast iron out of the garage.”

“I cleaned it really well, and then I seasoned it all to make it nonstick.”

“I also bought a bunch of those cloth covers for the handle, so she doesn’t burn herself.”

“She is mad at me for making her use cast iron like little house on the prairie.”

“I told her if she wants, she can purchase her own pans to cook in.”

“But since I don’t like flakes of Teflon in my food, I won’t eat any of it.”

“She said she didn’t damage my pans.”

“So I let her buy one.”

“Then I made bacon and a Spanish fried egg in it.”

“Then I wiped it clean with some paper towel and showed her the pan.”

“She had scraped off the coating in a couple of weeks.”

“Now she is worried about all the Teflon she is consuming.”

“She went over to her parents and asked her mom how she never scratched up the pans.”

“Her mom showed her the silicone utensils she has.”

“She says that if I replace the pans, she promises to use the proper utensils.”

“I offered to pay for half.”

“She said I was being a cheap a**hole.”

“Oh yeah, before I post, she is a full-grown 26-year-old adult.”

“It’s not like she’s 18 or something.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA… that’s not just not knowing how to cook. That’s intentionally being destructive.”

“She broke it… she buys new ones.”

“That is not on you.”

“Not even half the price of it.” ~ herdingcats2020

“NTA. I love cast iron. It’s better for everything.”

“She destroyed the last pans, you replace them with frankly better ones, and if she doesn’t like those, she can get some herself.”  ~ Fast_Information_810

“Cast iron is fantastic, but only a cooking enthusiast would know that.”

“This young lady is not one such.”

“But besides that, she is irresponsible and destructive.”

“She must pay to replace the equipment she destroyed.” ~ TheInvisibleWun2

“Right? The cast iron is a better pan all around.”

“Proving her ignorance with the Little House on the Prairie comment.”

“She has no idea what she’s talking about.”

“I cook almost everything in a cast iron, except for over-easy eggs, just because they can be a challenge even in a seasoned cast iron.”

“So if she wants a nonstick, she can go out and buy them because she destroyed the perfectly good ones even after being told how to care for them.”

“OP is def not TA, even if he did want them replaced.”

“It’s her fault, therefore, her responsibility.”

“The snotty comments on top would just make me extra salty about it.”  ~ Helena__Handbasket

“Non-stick releases fumes that have killed pet birds. No, thanks.”

“Cast iron is marvelous.”

“I inherited a skillet my great grandfather (who died in 1951) gave my grandmother when she married my grandfather in 1948.”

“It is my EVERYTHING.”

“If she can’t figure out that metal utensils destroy non-stick, does she have the mental capacity to understand that cast iron in the dishwasher is a huge NO?”

“NTA. Godspeed.” ~ Beneficial_Ship_7988

“Generally speaking, the person who destroys the property is the one who is supposed to pay for replacing it.”

“NTA – and cast iron properly seasoned, very nice.”  ~ M89-90

“Yes, and I’m still hung up on the fact that she’s in her 20s and supposedly had no prior idea that metal utensils damage non-stick pans.”

“My cooking skills are on par with the girlfriend’s, but I’ve always known this, and I thought it was common knowledge.”

“When I’m living with other people, I’m always very careful with their cooking supplies because I know they can be expensive, and I don’t want to damage them.”

“The girlfriend seems either irrationally overconfident and unable to accept feedback, wilfully ignorant or like she destroyed the pans on purpose (not sure what’s worse).”

“OP NTA.” ~ internal_metaphysics

“She needs to prove she knows how to treat non-stick pans before you replace anything.”

“Tell her to buy one non-stick pan herself and demonstrate that she can use it without destroying the Teflon surface.”

“Then (maybe) replace the rest.”

“There’s nothing wrong with cast iron. I have three skillets I use all the time.”

“If she doesn’t know anything about cooking, she needs to listen to those who do. NTA.”  ~ FitOrFat-1999

“NTA. I love cast iron!!”

“And the nonstick coating really isn’t good to consume.”

“She should buy new pans.”

“I’m not really sure how that’s your responsibility.” ~ applepie525

“NTA. She destroyed the pans after proper instruction.”

“It wasn’t until she went to her parent’s house to confirm the proper utensils to use while cooking that she was convinced, lol.”

“This is what happens when people coddle their kids (not saying they did in all areas, but they at least never taught her the basics of cooking).”

“Offering to pay half is very reasonable since you didn’t even have to do that.”  ~ Ok-Context1168

“NTA. The girlfriend needs to learn how to treat your property with care and respect your things– even if they will one day be her things.”

“I wouldn’t have bought the cast iron pans, but meh — forgivable, considering that she refuses to buy more non-stick pans.”

“As for you… do you really want to be with this person?”

“Does she really want to be with you?”

“You both need to be partners.”

“You need to care enough to teach her how not to destroy the pans (which you have).”

“And she needs to care enough to learn what you and her mother have been trying to teach her, or at a minimum, dip into her own savings to replace each pan she destroys without grumbling.”

“What concerns me most about your situation is that we shouldn’t be at this spot because caring for each other should have already resolved the issue.”

“That this doesn’t have an easy solution suggests that the relationship is already on an uneven footing.”

“Is she a little out of your league?”

“Does she think she’s slumming?”

“This is an important test about whether or not she can be a compatible mate for you… and she’s flunking out. I’m sorry to say.”

“Good luck, hope you guys can work it out with some empathy and consideration.” ~ MrRubberSpatula

“NTA, and unless she had some sort of learning disorder, why does she need to be told more than once?”

“She heard you explain how to use the pans.”

“She saw the result of it the first time it stopped being non-stick from the damage she did.”

“She heard you say not to do it again.”

“She presumably has access to the internet where she could learn about it.”

“So she does it again anyways.”

‘And still expects you to pay?”

“She needs to replace what she wrecked in the first place.” ~ DrMoneybeard

“NTA. She should be worried about the amount of Teflon she’s consuming.”

“That’s exactly why it’s generally common knowledge that you don’t use metal utensils on non-stick cookware.”

“It makes no sense that you should contribute any money towards new pans when she ruined the ones you already had.”

“On top of that, you didn’t leave her without a pan in the meantime. You just provided pans she doesn’t like.”

“Hypothetically, if you got into wearing makeup and in the process destroyed her collection, I doubt she would be okay with splitting the cost of new products half and half just because you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Not sure how she got the house on the prairie vibe from cast iron cookware. It’s pretty commonplace for people to use cast iron in my experience.”  ~ alyanm

“NTA… since she destroyed all your nonstick pans because she refuses to learn how to use them properly.”

“If she wants to use nonstick pans, she can replace the ones she ruined.”

“I wouldn’t even pay for half of that if I were you.”  ~ schoobydoo42

OP, Reddit is with you.

You love your pans.

It’s not a lot to ask for your things to be cared for.

Hopefully, you and the GF can make this hurdle work.