Nearly everyone has, at one point in their lives, asked a favor of a friend or family member.
Some people are so obliging to other people's favors, however, that they end up becoming something of a defacto butler or servant to these people.
A seemingly innocent arrangement, until these kind people end up finding themselves being held accountable for something that shouldn't have been their responsibility.
The sister of Redditor NaiveEffective7108 constantly relied on the original poster (OP) for one specific task.
A task that the OP grudgingly accepted.
Unfortunately, one recent day when the OP was assuming his unwanted duties, things went somewhat awry, resulting in the OP becoming somewhat at odds with his family.
Wondering if he was at fault, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not taking responsibility for sister's cup?"
The OP explained why his sister blamed him for one of her possessions going missing:
"My (19 M[ale]) sister (16 F[emale]) hates holding her own stuff when we go out."
"Whether it be shopping bags, her purse or that Stanley cup she insists on taking everywhere I end up holding it."
"Our parents don't do anything about it and tell me to carry it to be a good big brother."
"I feel like my sister sees me less like a brother and more like a pack mule."
"Friday mom took us to the mall to spend my sister's birthday money."
"And of course I ended up holding everything, her purse her cup and her 10+ shopping bags."
"When we got back home she noticed her cup wasn't there."
"Honestly I had no idea where or when I put it down."
"She told me to either go look for it or buy her a new one and I said no because she should have been keeping track of it herself. Now my family is being cold to me."
"I feel like I should be in the clear because number one she needs to start keeping track of her own stuff, and number two she doesn't need to bring that cup everywhere she goes she never even drinks out of it when not at home."
"AITA for not finding or replacing her cup?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Her
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to replace their sister's Stanley cup.
Everyone agreed that the OP's sister got what she deserved for using the OP as her personal valet, and if she cared as much as she did about her lost cup, then she shouldn't have left it in someone else's care:
"NTA."
"They are treating you like a pack mule, stop allowing it and being available for such treatment."
"Are you in school or have a job?"
"Something that will make you unable to carry your sister's items as she walks around like an entitled teen."
"It sounds like your family is reinforcing gender norms."
"How will your sister ever learn to be an independent woman?"- planning-life
"NTA."
"You aren't responsible for your sister's stuff."
"You are allowed to say No to being her pack mule."
"If she can't manage her things, she should be taking less stuff."
"Your parents are setting her future BF or Husband up to be very, very annoyed at her by allowing and encouraging this because this is basically a cross between entitlement and learned helplessness."- No-Assignment5538
"NTA."
"Stick by your decision on this one."
"She's 16, not 6."
"It's past time for her to take some responsibility for herself and to stop being so careless."-Individual_Ad_9213
"NTA."
"She's basically treating you like some kind of human wagon."
"You need to make a stand."
"Tell her:"
"'No'."
"'I'm not gonna carry your stuff'."
"'You have two perfectly healthy hands so you can do it yourself'."
"You're not a mule, you're a human being, and if your parents have something to say then tell them:"
"'If it's a man's job to carry her stuff, then tell Dad to do it'."
"'He's stronger, so he can do it better than me'."- sithmaster297
"NTA, she could just as easily have left it somewhere herself after having a drink from it, and she certainly could have carried it herself."
"Next time let her carry her own stuff, she sounds entitled."- Dear_Word8021
"NTA."
"Her stuff, her responsibility to keep track of it."
"That's on her for not being responsible for it and your parents for not encouraging her to be responsible."- Efficient_Wheel_6333
"NTA."
"Clearly, the sister is old enough to keep track of her stuff and should have been doing so for a few years."
"OP doesn't have a lot of boundaries about situations like this and needs to put them up in a healthy and respectful way that will help the sister learn it's in her best interest."
"Parents need to step in and help as well, and to teach the sister that in life, ppl will say no to her unreasonable demands."
"OP should start saying no to get the ball rolling."
"But OP doesn't mention the background as to why the sister has been allowed to continue this behavior or why there is such an attachment to a Stanley cup."
"Underlying issues?"- Critical_Aspect_2782
"NTA."
"Stop going places if she's bringing anything."
"If it can't fit in her pocket, you don't go."
"Your parents will change their tune when they realize you've picked your battle."-ZookeepergameOk1833
"NTA."
"You should not have to pay for the cup."
"My advice is to never go shopping with her again, and really, don't go with mom, either."
"You're too old for that."- meno-pause
"NTA."
"But the only way to stop this is to start purposely losing things."
"They will get mad but they will need you more."- Denuse99
"NTA."
"Your sister presumably has 2 functioning hands, so she can start using them."
"I suggest you either start skipping these outings, or start filling your hands with your own stuff before she can fill them with hers."- Naomeri
"NTA."
"If she wants to go shopping, she can carry her own stuff. If she wants you to hold it for a little bit, then that's one thing; otherwise, she needs to bring a bigger bag, a backpack, or something with her to carry her stuff."
"This will be a good lesson that if she wants to keep track of all her belongings, she needs to carry them herself."- Megatopsy
"NTA."
"But going forward, you might have to choose between replacing the cup and your peace in the home."
"After that is settled, I would say don't carry anything for her again."
"Maybe don't even go places with them."
"Either way, communicate clearly what's going on here."
"Tell her 'I don't want the responsibility of keeping track of your things'."
"'You can keep track of your own things'."- badatusernames31
"NTA."
"IT'S HER CUP, HER RESPONSIBILITY."- Icy_Huckleberry_8049
"NTA."
"Her expecting you to keep track of all of her stuff sounds a little entitled, but you get the option to say yes or no."
"But expecting you to constantly watch her and notice when she sets something down so you can collect it without being asked definitely sounds like she's treating you a little bit like a servant."-UnicornVoodooDoll
"NTA."
"I have a friend like that."
"She went from mainly going places with her dad to mainly going places with her boyfriend, so when we go out, it's the same."
"Forgotten bag, purse left on chair."- lovelystarbuckslover
"NTA."
"However, family dynamics can be weird."
"You may want to buy her a new one, but not doing so isn't an a-hole move."- BMal_Suj
"NTA."
"But your sister is."
"She is not a toddler or young child that needs help with holding things, it's her responsibility to keep track of her stuff."
"Simply refuse to carry her belongings for her."- Lilylake_55
"You're an adult now and need to start enforcing boundaries."
"This means saying no when your parents or sister tell you to do something outrageous."
"If she doesn't want to hold something then she can leave it in the car or not buy it."
"NTA."- EclecticEvergreen
There were a few, however, who had trouble sympathizing with the OP, simply for going along with his sister's demands for as long as he did, even if they also had trouble sympathizing with anyone else:
"ESH."
"Your sister and parents, of course."
"And you for going along with it. Once you agreed to hold her cup, yes, you became responsible for it. Maybe find something else to do instead of being her Sherpa?
When you have one too many things to keep track of, it's frustratingly easy to misplace something.
An Honest mistake that the OP fell victim to.
It will be interesting to see if the OP's sister will still make him carry her things going forward after this.
Or perhaps this duty will now fall to their parents?
One can only wonder if they would replace the cup had it been lost under their care...
