When to tip… when not to tip.
That always seems to be an eternal struggle question.
Even in 2022 we don’t always agree on the level of service everyone is owed.
That can cause quite a ruckus.
Case in point…
Redditor aitacurbside wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not bringing a disabled woman’s order to her car because she doesn’t tip?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Tough week. So I (24 F[emale]) am in college, getting ready to take my exams and graduate soon.”
“To pay for some of my living expenses I work part time at a locally owned restaurant.”
“Our restaurant does not offer curbside pickup.”
“The owner has repeatedly said it’s up to whoever is working if they want to bring it out or not.”
“In order to offer curbside pickup the owner would have to provide us with raincoats, which he doesn’t care to do.”
“Sometimes to be nice though, myself or some other employees might bring an order to someone’s car.”
“This older woman in her 60s is disabled and ordered from here last month.”
“I brought her order out to her car that day.”
“And she mentioned how happy she was that we were willing to bring it to her car.”
“Since she’s disabled and most places in town won’t do curbside.”
“I made sure to tell her that we aren’t required and next time whoever’s working might not bring it out.”
“But that I was glad to do it that day.”
“Since then she’s ordered from us twice, one other time a coworker brought it out, and then another time I brought it out.”
“Well, she ordered from us again last night.”
“She’s a nice enough lady but she never tips.”
“Which I would overlook except she’s ordering 40$ single person meals.”
“In my opinion if you can afford to frequently splurge on nice dinners for yourself you can afford a dollar or two to whoever is going the extra mile to make your life easier.”
“Last night it was raining and cold out, and I was the only person working the front.”
“When she called to say she was there for her order, I politely let her know that since it’s raining I wouldn’t be going out.”
“She kind of yelled at me, saying that she’s disable how is she supposed to come get it?”
“I told her that we do not offer curbside pick up, and that she was previously made aware of it.”
“She asked to speak to a manger, who refused to give her a refund.”
“He explained to her that the food was already made, and that we do not offer curbside and she knew that.”
“One of the kitchen guys ended up eating her lobster.”
“When I told my husband about my day he said should have helped the old lady, and that I was an a**hole for not doing so.”
“I didn’t want to work out the rest of my shift in soaked cold clothes for someone that can’t even be bothered to tip.”
“Based off her new Range Rover and frequent lobster I assume she could afford to tip at least something.”
“AITA for not bringing a disabled woman’s food to her car because she doesn’t tip?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA, you warned her it wouldn’t always be curbside.”
“Her getting angry at you is ridiculous and asking for a manager when she already knew the answer also.”
“You want special treatment, you tip your server, period.” ~ LiquidSillyness
“NTA. She was told that curbside was not a service regularly offered.”
“Tipping should be offered even on takeout, at a lower percentage though as you aren’t spending near as much time on them but even $3-$5 on a $40 ticket is not unreasonable.”
“Considering you didn’t have an umbrella and she has been warned before that she could not always expect curbside service you are not the AH.”
“Your manager though should have refunded her the money for her meal as she did not receive her food.” ~ Reason_Training
“ESH. As a non American, what the f**k is wrong with your culture that this situation is ok.”
“Why are you begging for tips like Oliver Twist instead of being paid an actual living wage as an employee.”
“If tips are required for you to live then a business includes that in the charge for the goods and that becomes a f**king living wage.”
“And why the hell is it ok that businesses aren’t helping people with severe enough disabilities it stops them from being able to get access to food.”
“Because part of the reason she buys so often won’t be because she has cash to splurge, she likely doesn’t have an accessible kitchen at home and cooking is painful or risky.”
“Because it’s a nice freaking thing to do?”
“Put an umbrella out for an employee to use and make someone available to deliver it. It’s a few steps.”
“Like my God.”
“Someone made vulnerable by a disability, someone is in a vulnerable situation where they are a lowly paid employee.”
“And it’s somehow ok for your society to say ‘well f**k ya, you work it out.'”
“It’s like two rats fighting over the crumbs the cat dropped next it’s food bowl.”
“You can work your hardest and have no control over the charity customers give you, because if it’s not part of the cost of the good it’s freaking charity.”
“And this charity makes up the portion of your missing wage that your employer refuses to give you, an employer with a business, assets and has control over the profit they get for each unit/service sold.”
“Great, you are a partially salaried beggar that has to worry about looking like a drowned rat if you help a disabled lady.”
“Worrying if you would look less professional you’ll be less appealing to customers charity and get less tips.”
“Great, might as well start jumping through little hoops and barking on command for the coins at the bottom of their wallets.”
“And she has a disability!”
“So bad she chose to go hungry rather than walk to the store.”
“So… I’m guessing freaking bad? This isn’t a choice.”
“So now an old disabled lady goes home hungry, with less money.”
“And your boss who can’t be bothered paying you a proper wage nets the profits regardless.”
“The two most vulnerable people are jabbing at each other, complaining about a situation that shouldn’t exist.”
“Surrounded by people profiting off a situation where the most vulnerable are kept vulnerable.”
“And your question is, am I the a**hole for not being charitable to someone in need even though my manager screws me over the the point my wage is reliant on others being charitable?”
“Am I the a**hole for screwing over another vulnerable person in turn because I am in such a crappy situation that I have come to feel like it’s normal to monetise my compassion?” ~ Willdiealonewithcats
“Why is no one seeing the issue of working in wet clothes?”
“Most restaurants workers live off tips.”
“A lot of that is appearance (dressing smart, clean clothes etc) if they look like a drowned rat they’ll get less tips.”
“For doing something that’s NOT part of her job description.”
“Drive throughs exist, you can get takeaways delivered to your home. “
“It’s not like the women will starve or doesn’t have options.”
“Not to mention this lady was rude to them over the phone and the manager.”
“Why would they go out of there way to help someone who’s rude. NTA.” ~ Quiet_Tourist_9199
“So you didn’t do something that isn’t required, or even technically offered.”
“Regardless of the reason, it is not something that is guaranteed.”
“The fact that she is disabled and a bad tipper, along with the fact that it is pouring down rain, all contributed to you not wanting to go out there this time.”
“You doing it in the past was just being nice, but it does not obligate you to do it in the future.”
I”‘m voting NTA based on all of that.” ~ Dark_Bubbles
“NTA. Working in wet clothes would suck.”
“Especially wet shoes. Would it have been nice? Sure.”
“But she was told it wouldn’t always be possible.”
“And she gambled and lost. It isn’t a part of your job super your manager and they backed you up.”
“Probably better this happened now before she had been coming too often and your boss changed his mind on the curbside thing.” ~ weallfalldown310
“NTA! If she wants her food to be delivered to her car she’s should order from a restaurant that offers curbside pick up!!”
“Regardless even if she tipped you, if it was raining!”
“No tip would be worth me getting drenched and working with soaked clothes.” ~ HistorySweet9902
It sounds like the first thing OP needs to do is read this thread over with her boss.
Maybe he could splurge on a little rain gear.
Let’s all try to be nicer though in hospitality situations.
Everyone is working really hard.