Being able to quit smoking is a huge accomplishment for many. But, it’s hard when you still spend a lot of time with a smoker.
And that is only exacerbated if you’ve asked them repeatedly to stop doing it in your space.
Redditor Morkvarg667 encountered this very issue with her boyfriend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for making my boyfriend leave after I caught him smoking inside my home?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“It may seem like a trivial issue to some.”
“Last night I caught my boyfriend smoking inside my apartment again. I became upset and asked him to leave for a while after it became an argument. We have discussed this issue a few times and he always says it’s not a problem for him to go outside, yet he keeps trying to smoke indoors when he thinks I won’t notice.”
“For some background, I am a former smoker.”
“I quit seven years ago and have no desire to pick the habit up again. After quitting, I now notice the smell and I can’t stand it.”
“Same for vape units.”
“I don’t mind if my friends or family smoke, I can’t control what someone else chooses to do and people will only quit when they are ready. What I do mind is if they smoke inside my car or my home.
“I don’t allow it inside because it stains the walls and causes everything to take on the scent after a while. I have always been upfront with my friends and loved ones that smoke that if they come over they may not do this indoors.”
It is a perfectly reasonable request.
“My boyfriend of 2.5 years seems to have difficulty accepting this boundary of mine.”
“I’ve since sold my house, but prior to that I had caught him smoking pot in my house while I was gone after he agreed to take it to the garage or porch. Since then, I have caught him smoking or vaping inside my apartment that I now live in on four more occasions.”
“He does not live here and could get me evicted if one of the other tenants notices, plus I still do not want anyone smoking inside for reasons I listed above.”
“Here’s why I think I might be the a**hole.”
“I made him give the key to my apartment back and told him that if he cannot respect this one simple rule of mine that he is not going to be allowed here when I’m not around. I don’t want my things smelling like smoke, I don’t want the health problems that come with second hand smoke, and I could be evicted if someone notices what he is doing.”
“I kind of feel like he is disregarding my wishes.”
“Maybe my reaction is extreme but I feel like if he needs to smoke that bad, he should go on my porch or go smoke inside in his own home.”
“I asked him to leave for a while after the argument got heated and we haven’t spoken since. Am I the asshole here?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. Smoking around a former smoker is an AH move. Smoking indoors with other people is an AH move. Smoking at places of people that do not want smoke is an AH move.”
“I think we can safely say your boyfriends is the AH.” ~ eloel-