People have very different relationships with exercise and fitness.
Some do it out of obligation, to stay reasonably healthy even if they don’t particularly enjoy it.
While others can’t wait to get to the gym every day and will look for any excuse to prolong their workout.
Redditor runningdali and their boyfriend each ran for different reasons.
While the original poster (OP) ran more to connect with nature and the outdoors than anything else, their boyfriend did it all for the glory.
Which made him particularly agitated by the fact that the OP appeared to be a bit better at it than he was.
This resulted in the OP’s boyfriend making a demand in an effort to find out their secrets, which the OP was less than eager to oblige.
Wondering if they were in the wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to start tracking my runs? Even though my boyfriend who’s also a runner wants to see my stats?”
The OP shared how upon noticing their different skill sets, he began to become more and more determined to discover the secret behind her success.
“My boyfriend and I are both runners, though we don’t often run together because he’s a morning bird and likes to run at 5 or 6 am before he goes to work.”
“And I’m a night owl who likes to run just before sunset.”
“Nowadays, he loves tracking his runs, he has an apple watch and loves digging into his heart rate data, speed and time data, etc.”
“He’s using a training plan that he sticks to and it sounds like he spends a lot of time on his runs thinking about technique and his training plan.”
“I’ll just go out and run at whatever speed feels good that day, for however long feels good that day.”
“I’ll go wherever looks cool or scenic.”
“It really varies depending on my mood and energy level but I usually run for 30-60 minutes varying my speed a lot.”
“My longest runs are usually if I’d smoked a bowl before.”
“It just makes me lose track of time and enjoy being outdoors.”
“And I like to think or meditate on things when I run.”
“I guess we always both assumed he was the better runner, till we decided to do a half marathon charity race together.”
“And I just had a much easier time, we ran side by side but I just wasn’t getting out of breath as often, and I ended up slowing down for most of the race to stay with him.”
“And I was genuinely surprised, because I kinda just use running to help with anxiety, I don’t care how the run goes, it’s just nice to be outdoors and feel connected with my body.”
“But my boyfriend really wanted to know how I did it, he thought I must have been doing something to train.”
“I joked that I hadn’t really, I just ran whenever I was feeling anxious or restless, and work’s been making me feel that a lot recently.”
“Since then, every time I’ve gone running, he’s wanted me to use an app to track my route and pace, or borrow his apple watch.”
“I don’t really want to do that, I feel like tracking and analyzing things would ruin my fun.”
“But literally every time he’s gotten annoyed at me, even saying stuff, in a kinda joking way but still, that he talked to his running buddies and ‘untracked runs don’t count’ and ‘it’s basically sacrilege’ and on a more serious note ‘don’t you want to know your progress?'”
“I said how about we do a few races a year, I can see my progress that way because they time you!”
“He said he just wanted to know how I was training, to get some tips from me, and I told him honestly he should just smoke a little weed or have an espresso first, put on a classical music playlist, and go run wherever looks the prettiest, maybe it is the enjoyment of the thing that really helps?”
“But I guess he didn’t want to try that because he’s just kept at nagging me to try his apple watch.”
“I feel like he’s probably feeling kinda insecure I ran better in that race and is trying to make sense of it, so maybe I’m being too stubborn about not wanting to try it.”
“AITA for not tracking my runs, when my runner boyfriend wants to see?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to track their runs.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s boyfriend was being silly and jealous, and simply needed to let go of his competitive nature.
“You run because it’s fun and for a different purpose than your boyfriend.”
“’Untracked runs don’t count’ is bullsh*t.”
“I didn’t track my runs when i first started because I didn’t want to.”
“I track because I’m training for races.”
“But my untracked and tracked runs are STILL runs and important to me.”- luvduvbunny
“What did I just read?”
“Your boyfriend is insecure and envious of you, the fact that you had an easier time in the race probably hurt his fragile ego.”
“‘Untracked runs don’t count'” is utter bullsh*t.”
“You don’t have to track your runs, stand your ground because you really don’t want to ruin the fun of running.”- AngryGoose02
“Pretty sure I can guess what he’s getting you for Christmas.”
“But seriously, his behavior is weirdly competitive.”
“Don’t let him goad you.”- NettieSpagetty
“NTA and your way is scientifically proven to be better.”
“You’re focusing on the process, not the goal, and that just works better.”
“You advised him to do the same.”
“If he wants to emulate your success, he needs to do what you’re doing, not the facts and stats of it, but the process.”
“Focusing on your facts and stats will hobble you.”
“Show him the linked article.”
“Also, fun fact included in the article, the goal-focused people are always WAH YAH BRO DOING SO MUCH GOING SO GOOD BOOYAH while the process people casually mellowly do more than them.”
“You’ve found your golden path, stay on it, invite him to follow that path and don’t be lured onto his path.”- angels-and-insects
“NTA tell him to stop turning your healthy coping mechanism into another source of stress.”
“He’s being absurd.”
“I’m guessing he’s very competitive and wants the motivation of trying to ‘beat’ your runs.”
“The only other explanation is he wants to track you for reasons unrelated to running, e.g. he’s afraid you’re cheating on him instead of running or something.”- GreatFeedbackThnx
“You’re running for entirely different purposes and his purpose is helped by tracking.”
“Yours isn’t, and in fact could be actively harmed by starting to track it.”- dublos
“You run for different reasons.”
“If you agree to tracking yourself, odds are that it will suck the joy out of running for you.”-Individual_Ad_9213
“This isn’t about tracking your runs.”
“This is him tracking the shrinkage of his penis because you did better than him.”-Fine_Helicopter7214
“NTA, don’t let him ruin something that helps you with your stress.”
“Tell him if he wants tips he can find a trainer.”- andycanemama
“I’m a cyclist and I do track my routes & miles and honestly it sometimes does ruin a ride.”
“I check to see if I was faster up a hill this time than last.”
“Or I’ll leave a group slightly to try beat a time or get the best time.”
“It does Rob you of an experience to be pushing for a stat.”
“If you run for the calm I’d stick to what you’re doing.”- Scottish_squirrel
“NTA your boyfriend is trying to compete with you and it’s really stupid.”- youshallcallmebetty
“As a runner who has done both, don’t start tracking.”
“It can definitely increase anxiety and ruin the fun of it.”
“Tell BF in no uncertain terms that you enjoy your running as if and that you will not be tracking now or in the future.”- Runnrgirl
“Boyfriend should let you do what you enjoy doing.”- Anthroman78
“This is sad.”
“He’s going to end up either ruining running for you or ruining the relationship because you’ll be forced to choose between something you love and his weird obsession with your ‘training’ and stats.”
“Time to have a serious heart-to-heart and tell him needs to knock it off and let it be.”
“BF needs to find another running buddy who is as much into improvement and tracking as he is.”-NGDGUnpunished
A little healthy competition is good for everyone.
But maybe not in a relationship, which relies heavily on teamwork.
Hopefully the OP’s boyfriend will come to realize this sooner rather than later, and they can thus enjoy running each in their own way.