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Stay-At-Home Mom Balks When Husband Insists She Refold His Laundry After She Did It ‘Wrong’

Woman unhappily folding laundry
Cavan Images/Getty Images

Redditor Wise_Regular3618 was recently miffed when their stay-at-home wife and mother of 3 folded his laundry wrong.

The annoyance turned into an argument and now the Original Poster (OP) needs guidance.

The OP turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

He asked:

“AITA for unfolding my clothes because my wife accidentally folded them the wrong way?”

He went on to explain.

“My wife [29-year-old Female] and I [31-year-old Male] have been married for 5 years and have 3 kids that are 3, 2, and almost 2 months old.”

“I work, and she stays home to take care of the kids. She is a great wife and mom and I love her. Whenever she does laundry, she rolls and puts my clothes on hangers and I put them away.”

“Yesterday when I got home from work she handed me my basket of clothes, but instead of them being rolled, they were folded.”

“I asked why, and she said she just forgot and did them like everyone else’s.”

“I said that was fine and I went in our room and unfolded the clothes and laid them on the bed, planning on rolling them back up.”

“However I realized I didn’t have the time because I had to work on a presentation, so I went to my office and started working.”

“My wife came in awhile after that and asked why I had unfolded my clothes. I said because I wanted them to be rolled and was going to do it but realized I needed to finish some work.”

“I asked her if she could please re-roll them, and she just walked out.”

“She came back with a basket of all my clothes and just dumped them on the ground in my office and called me an AH and told me to do it myself.”

“I think that it wasn’t an unreasonable request because she takes care of things around the house and I’ve had the same preference for my laundry for our entire marriage.”

“I work hard to provide her and our children with a very privileged life and I don’t think properly rolled laundry is asking for that much.”

“I did plan on doing it myself but just couldn’t. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder.”

“Am I the AH?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“YTA for starting something you were unable to finish .”

“AND for expecting your wife to do the work 2 times after you undid her work” – Nalpona_Freesun


“There was nothing wrong with deciding to refold them, or realizing that you needed to get to work and do it later.”

“There was something wrong with undoing all of her work and then requesting that she redo it. She already did it. You didn’t like it.”

“At that point, it’s your job to redo it. I’m wondering what else she takes care of that you’re completely ungrateful toward her about.” – Reddit


“She also works hard, and it would be very demoralizing to work all day and then have your husband undo your work and leave it there with no communication that you were going to put it away later.”

“Even if you didn’t mean it to, it paints the message ‘wrong! Try again!’” – nostalgicNuisance

“YTA. First, I have never heard of “rolling” laundry, but that is beside the point.”

“Okay, she folded it. Maybe she forgot, maybe something else was going on. But when you take the items, dump them on the bed, and then walk away, asking her later to roll them again, YTA.”

“That completely reads like you’re trying to punish her for not doing it ‘your way.’”

“Wow. Had you just said you were going to roll it when you finished work, the outcome would have been much different.”

“ETA: I have heard of rolling clothes for packing. But that is not the issue here.” – Ok-Emergency-1106

“YTA. You just had to go work on a presentation and not spend 3 or 4 minutes rolling your laundry?”

“Seems like you were trying to make a point to your wife and made this post to try to prove to her that you weren’t.” – ImpressionAcademic

“YTA. She’s a stay-at-home mom to three extremely tiny kids. You should be doing your own godd*mned laundry as it is.”

“She stays home to take care of the children, not you.”

“But now that you’ve demonstrated how entitled you are and how unappreciative you are of everything she does, I hope she never rolls or folds a single piece of laundry for you ever again.” – Outrageously_Penguin


“Do your own d*mn laundry if you need it done in a particular way. Seriously it’s not that hard.”

“All you did here was sh*t on your wife’s work, undoing it, and then tried to hide away from doing it yourself.” – urbanworldbuilder

“‘I did plan on doing it myself but just couldn’t.’”

“She doesn’t believe that, and honestly, neither do I.”

“You were unhappy she forgot your special little preferences, you told her it was fine, and then unfolded all of the clothes and left them until she came around and asked why, and then you asked her to re-roll them.”

“It sounds more like you’re getting back at her for not doing it “right” in the first place than any intent at all to just handle it yourself. YTA.” – CanterCircles

“33 years ago, I moved in with my then-boyfriend and did our laundry. I washed, dried, folded, and put his clothes on the top of the dresser for him to put away.”

“He said I folded his underwear wrong – his mom always folded it this way, and that’s how he wanted it folded.”

“That boyfriend is now my husband of 32 years, and he has done his own laundry since that fateful day. At least his underwear is always folded how he likes it. YTA.” – desdemona_d

“YTA. You had two choices–either unfold and re-roll your clothing immediately, or deal with them folded.”

“Instead, you unfolded them, undoing the work she had done.”

“You left them laying on the bed, making a mess and keeping her from using the bed as well as displaying your disdain for the work she had done for you.”

“Then you still have enough audacity left to ask her to re-roll them for you.”

“She was right to refuse to do it.”

“And if I were her, I’d stop doing your laundry entirely until you figured out that anything done on top of keeping your three tiny children alive for the day deserves copious amounts of gratitude.” – Bubbly_Chicken_9358

“YTA. You sound like you were being pretty precious about something that, ultimately, does not matter one way or another.”

“(Although FYI, rolled items do fit better in a suitcase should OP’s wife ever feel so inclined to reduce her UNPAID workload by 25% and throw you out).”

“Seriously, you earn the dollars. She keeps the roof over your head a home AND wrangles two toddlers and a newborn.”

“And she did the other adult’s laundry, cleaned, dried, folded and delivered to OP’s room.”

“She is not your mother. She is the mother of your children, and the savings on childcare alone for those kids alone makes your magnanimity of being the ‘breadwinner’ seem pretty hollow.”

“Now do the costings for the rest of her UNPAID LABOUR: chef, housekeeper, laundress, cleaner…and apologize or leave- she will appreciate only raising the children she’s birthed for a change.” – Ok-Many4262

“Of course YTA. It would have been different if you’d just rerolled them but you didn’t. You treated her like a subordinate that you were punishing by doing a job over ‘until she got it right’.”

“She may be a SAHM, but that doesn’t make her your servant.” – keesouth


“You wanting to roll them and do it yourself? Perfectly acceptable.”

“You asking your wife to put in the extra time and effort to redo a task she already did? Perfectly abhorrent.”

“Your wife does the laundry for everyone. She made one “mistake” because she was on autopilot while trying to keep up with all the household needs.”

“Do you expect her to make you redo every mistake you make? How would you feel if your boss asked you to redo your hard work based on petty preferences that you usually follow?”

“Show some patience and grace to the person who sounds like they are carrying the entire mental load of your family.” – EmpressJainaSolo


“So what she folded them. She washed them. Dried them.”

“Then folded them instead of rolling them. Then after her efforts you dumped them. Pretty amazing you somehow remembered that you had a presentation after you undid her hard work.”

“So you left the clothes for you wife to find. That’s rude behavior. It sounds like she normally rolls them.”

“Did you ever think maybe she has something on her mind? I’d guess that you will be getting your clothes in a pile from now on.” – Own_Moment_6827

OP, stay-at-home mom only applies to your kids.

You need to remember that she’s your wife.

The subreddit’s decision was pretty clear on this one.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)