Owning a dog is a massive commitment. Being a good owner demands attentiveness, finances, and an organized schedule, among other challenges.
So it’s no surprise that mindset is everything if someone is trying to decide if they’re ready.
One Redditor was faced with that dilemma. Her friend posted on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit on her behalf.
The Original Poster (OP), known as XXSusanStoHelitXX on the site, delivered the title from her friend’s perspective:
“AITA – I sold my partner’s dog after his death”
OP led with a disclaimer.
“I am writing this for a friend of mine who doesn’t use Reddit.”
“She’s very upset at the moment and isn’t sure she made the right call, so I suggested we ask random internet strangers for their expert opinion.”
“I’m writing from her perspective.”
It all began with a good three years.
“I was with my partner for seven years. Three years ago, we got a chocolate cocker spaniel. He’s always loved dogs.”
“I’m not a huge fan myself, so the deal was that he would be in primary charge of the dog and all its needs.”
“I grew fond of the dog, but never particularly attached.”
But everything changed very suddenly.
“Just over 12 months ago, my partner was killed in an accident. It’s been awful and I’m still grieving. The poor dog is beside herself and misses him too.”
“I’m a nurse and work insane hours. I’m never home and this poor dog was being neglected. I barely had time to walk her and she rarely had human company.”
She began to search for solutions.
“So, I contacted the local cocker spaniel group and found a family willing to take her. We had lots of visits first and I ended up going and staying at their place for a few days before I handed her over to make sure she felt comfortable.
“They have two other cocker spaniels and three older children. The parents both work from home.
She was struck by what happened.
“The change in her demeanour since spending time there has been amazing. She’s gone from being this sad, withdrawn little thing to playing, eating and doing all the normal things dogs do.”
“She hasn’t fretted when I’ve left her there for visits and she seems so much happier.”
The next move felt clear to OP’s friend.
“In the end, I decided that she could stay with them.”
“They paid a significant amount of money for her and she has joined their family. I didn’t want to just give her away because all the advice I had was that ‘free to a good home’ dogs were at risk of abuse.”
“I donated half the money to the hospital that helped my partner and put the rest towards his memorial.”
“I think I did the right thing because I don’t have the skills or patience to care for a dog. I would never get a pet of my own but I couldn’t bear to see her so sad and lonely.”
But criticisms mounted.
“Quite a few of our friends said I was a terrible person. That a dog is forever and I have traumatised her by sending her to live with another family just after she lost her main human.”
“I thought I did the right thing. I simply couldn’t care for her myself and she’s clearly happy and thriving in her new home.”
“None of them offered to help me with her after my partner died, even though they knew I didn’t know much about caring for dogs.”
“But every time they see me, they ask about her and then say things like ‘oh but you abandoned her, so you obviously don’t care’ or similar. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Almost all Redditors who responded told OP her friend wasn’t an a**hole in the slightest.
“NTA. You absolutely did the right thing. You couldn’t provide a proper home for her, so you rehomed her in a careful and responsible way.”
“You did what was best for everyone – you, the dog and her new family.” — ledasmom
“NTA, it sounds like the dog is better looked after and happier with the new family. A nurse that lives alone is not a suitable person to have a pet that needs as much human attention and walks as often as a dog.”
“Maybe the dog also misses you. But overall you did what’s best for the dog.” — JOSOIC
“NTA – your friends that are calling you terrible clearly link the pet to your lost partner but fail to see how hard it was for both the dog and yourself. As someone who has also lost my own, it’s the absolute hardest thing you can do to give up something that person loved.”
“You did your due diligence and made sure the dog went to a loving home where they would be supported and cared for — not just a simple post on social media giving up to anyone.”
“The fact that you were mature enough to give the animal a better home when you couldn’t is enough to say you’re NTA.” — wickedpoetess
“NTA I think more people need to put the dogs needs first and admit they can’t care for them.”
“You recognised that she needed a good home and that you couldn’t meet her needs, you took a great deal of steps to ensure that her needs were being meet in her new family and she’s already improved mentally. Spaniels thrive of human company.” — alixshadowed
Others didn’t hesitate to lay into the peanut gallery.
“NTA, your friends suck. The alternative to selling the dog would have been to leave it unattended for long stretches of time, only occasionally accompanied by someone who doesn’t much like dogs.”
“You went above and beyond to make sure the dog would get along with her new family, even staying there yourself to make sure. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong here.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” — fridgepickle
“NTA they’re not real friends. How could they say those things to you? That’s awful.”
“You absolutely did the right thing for all the right reasons.” — reyelle1977
“NTA Your friends don’t know what they’re taking about.”
“A dog in a family with other dogs and time to show it affection is infinitely better off than a dog with an owner that’s never home. You did what was right for your pet.”
“Your friends can sit and spin.” — jacano5
Perhaps these comments will help OP’s friend continue on knowing the dog is happy–thanks to her.