“Sex is natural. Sex is fun.”
Those are some immortal lyrics from George Michael.
Sex can be all of those things and more, except when you have to talk about it.
That’s when sex can start to get weird.
It’s especially problematic when the topic comes up between parents and kids.
Case in point…
Redditor Waste-Ad8081 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to stay somewhere else so my mom can have sex?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“It’s my (19 F[emale]) birthday on Saturday, and I planned to go out drinking and come home to sleep after I was done.”
“My mom (43 F) came into my room the other day asking me if I want to go and stay somewhere on that Saturday night so she can have her man over to do the deed.”
“I was obviously upset by this and told her I planned on coming home as I wanted to sleep in my own bed.”
“She then persisted that I go and stay with a friend because she didn’t want to have to go out to do whatever.”
“My twin siblings would also be out of the house.”
“They are five and staying with my grandparents.”
“I said it is not my problem that she wants someone to stay over and I will be coming home to sleep.”
“She then told me that she would be loud and make sure to wake me up to hear and made it clear she did not want me home.”
“This could have been a joke, but either way, it is not normal to say that to your child, right?”
“For context, I have been hearing my mom have sex with her boyfriends at the time since I was around ten years old, and I had complained multiple times at hearing this.”
“I obviously don’t want to come home and hear my mom having sex, but I also want to sleep at home as it is my bed and I too live there.”
“We’ve been going back and forth on this, and now I’m going to stay somewhere else, but I still feel like she is in the wrong for asking me to leave in the first place.”
“I don’t know what to think.
“I understand where she is coming from, but still?”
The OP was left to wonder,
“So, AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA… and the number of people saying you’re an a**hole and you should just leave the house or something prove how detached of reality those people are.”
“You literally hear your mom having sex since you were 10, and she literally threatens you with being loud during the deed, especially when you complained about it.”
“A kid shouldn’t have to hear their parents have sex, especially when it’s multiple strangers. It can be traumatizing.”
“She can still have sex with whoever she wants, the kids just don’t need to hear it.”
“And yeah, I know, the ‘Kids should be out of the house at 18 years old’ are gonna come and be like, ‘Well it’s not her house!!!'”
“Yes, yes it is, she literally has the same rights as her mom even if she doesn’t pay, which, like, she literally got out of high school at 18.”
“Or maybe later, not even yet if she’s got held back for a year or more, but I guess the parents ready to throw out their kids immediately when they turn 18 can’t think of that or other scenarios where life isn’t all rose-tinted and easy.” ~ Meryuchu
“And she already plans on being out of the house celebrating her birthday that evening.”
“Why couldn’t mom and her boyfriend have sex in the window between 8 pm-midnight or whatever so that OP can come home and sleep in her own bed.”
“On her birthday!!”
“It’s not like OP is refusing to give them privacy. She just wants to sleep in her own home.”
“This 100% sounds like a control issue, not a logistical one.” ~ Wynfleue
“My son is in his early 20s, and I have never had sex with any partner while he’s under the same roof.”
“Probably due to the traumas I went through as a child, but the idea that any kid has to listen to their parents – or even worse, their parent/s and a casual partner – getting it on is just so gross and violating and abusive.”
“OP is NTA.”
“The mother is, though.” ~ nutcracker_78
“100% agree, OP is NTA, and this kind of behavior is abuse from the mother, especially intentionally letting them hear it since they were 10 years old.”
“My wife and I don’t shy away from sex just because the kids are home, but we’re quiet and discrete about it.”
“We sure as hell are not discussing it with them or threatening they’ll have to listen to us if they don’t leave home.”
“This is pretty damn sick for anyone to do, but especially a parent to their child.” ~ DoubleNebula8347
“It is definitely abusive, and I spoke about trauma from experience. Threatening with that is wild and can also play on the trauma.”
“But hey, there are still so many people here that prefer talking about how OP is an adult living at her parent’s place!!!” ~ Meryuchu
“Fully agree with you.”
“The number of people on this sub who are willing to throw their own children and, more so, other people’s children to the wolves the day they turn 18 is absolutely bonkers to me – even more so in this economy. “
“That’s not how reality works, and if that’s your attitude towards kids, you shouldn’t have any.”
“OP is absolutely NTA.”
“And frankly, even if she weren’t her mom’s child (which makes it 100x worse), she’d still be NTA.”
“Adults with adult roommates have to figure out how to have sex quietly or plan around their roommates’ schedules.”
“It’s just part of being an adult.”
“Kicking someone else out so you can shag is some college dorm sh*t (and even in a dorm, it’s in my opinion, an a**hole move).
“It being OP’s birthday is the cherry on top.” ~ cyanraichu
“I’m not understanding why mom can’t go to a hotel or, as a ‘birthday present,’ pay for her daughter to stay in a hotel for the night.”
“I think it’s disrespectful of mom to do this, especially on her birthday.”
“At least then it would look like she cared if she was safe by making sure she had a decent place to go.”
“Only my opinion here.” ~ bookluvr74
“NTA. Your mom sounds weird and inconsiderate. It’s your f**king birthday.”
“Also, for everyone saying she’s 19, grow up, get your own place.”
“You don’t just magically retire from being a parent the day your kid turns 18.”
“You’re a parent until the day you die, and parents are supposed to put their kids first, and your mom isn’t doing that.”
“On your birthday.” ~ RhineStonedCowgirl
“NTA. I would be traumatized if one of my parents said this to me.”
“Some things need to be kept private for one.”
‘I would have asked if the guy has his own place?”
“If he doesn’t, I’d question that too.”
“Assuming he’s the same age as your mom, he should have a place too.” ~ ObjectiveBus7160
“NTA. Your mom sucks, both meanings of the word obviously.”
“I’m 40, a dad, with a live-in girlfriend.”
“We have sex regularly while our teenage and preteen kids are in the house.”
“We shut our door, and it’s usually done at night when we have our loud fan on so no one can hear what’s going on.”
“There are ways to get some with kids in the house that don’t disturb anyone.”
“Telling your kid to leave so you can get laid is pretty crappy.”
“Especially on their birthday.”
“OP, be sure to put on your noise-canceling headphones that night.”
“Or, if you’re feeling extra petty, make a sign of encouragement to place outside their door for when they’re done.”
“Maybe some water bottles for dehydration and cookies or even the phone number to a pharmacy that sells the morning-after pill.” ~ Inner-Nothing7779
“NTA. You’re going to take a lot of YTAs because Reddit has a hate for teens who still live at home.”
“But, yes, your mom is wrong to ask you to leave and stay elsewhere than your home so she can have loud sex and threaten to be extra loud if you don’t.”
“Unfortunately, there just isn’t a lot you can DO about it.” ~ Right_Count
OP came back to chat…
“I feel like I need to clear some things up.”
“First of all, no I do not pay rent because simply I cannot afford to.”
“I live in the UK, so there is no underage drinking.”
“I cannot simply just move out. That is easier said than done.”
“And when I get to Uni next year, I do plan on leaving, and my mom also agrees that then will be the best time for me to move.”
“I am still in full-time education and have a part-time job, so let’s not be so harsh on the fact that I still live with my mom.”
“I understand the privilege of living at home rent-free, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that my own mom wants to get me out of the house so she can have sex with someone.”
“Some of you asked about the boyfriend, and yes, he does have his own home.”
“It’s just in another city, and I’ve personally never met him.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
It’s your birthday. You want to be comfortable… you’re not asking for a lot.
It is your mom’s home, but there must be a way for everyone to “rest” easily.
The sound-canceling equipment could be a good idea.
Good luck and Happy Birthday!