Not everyone likes to be the center of attention, much preferring to be standing at the side, as an observer.
Others, however, simply live off being the focus of every conversation, even going so far as to feel uncomfortable when that isn’t the case.
It is never polite, however, to steal attention away from someone, whether or not they enjoy being the main attraction.
Particularly on their birthdays.
Such was sadly the case for Redditor, biology-eater, who reluctantly allowed her boyfriend’s sisters and mother to throw her a birthday party, in spite of the fact that birthdays have little meaning to her.
When the big day arrived, however, the OP learned that her quasi sisters-in-law (SIL) seemed to throw the party more as a means of celebrating good news of their own.
Leaving the OP simply unable to hide her hurt and humiliation.
Concerned she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making a scene after my SILs announced their pregnancies at my birthday as a gift?”
The OP shared how her SILs took her birthday party as an opportunity to share some good news of their own, news which dealt a very personal blow.
“My (24 F[emale]) boyfriend (24 M[ale]) has 2 sisters Emily (30 F) and Diane (32 F).”
“They are both married and trying for a baby.”
“Diane announced her first pregnancy at mother day this year.”
“She gifted her mother a baby shoe and a positive pregnancy test.”
“Everyone was happy and even more when Emily told everyone that she was also trying for a baby.”
“Later that evening, I texted them both saying ‘Congratulations, I’m happy for you’.”
“‘It’s a bit weird for me and my boyfriend because we recently learned that I’m sterile’.”
“I hope I didn’t cut the mood but I’m really excited for you both”.
“They sent me some texts reassuring me and everything went well.”
“Sadly, Diane lost her baby 2 months after this party.”
“Fast forward to last week.”
“We (MIL, both SILs and I) met for a girls night.”
“My MIL wanted to organize a party for my birthday so she asked me if that’s ok for me and what do I want.”
“I said fine but birthdays are tough for me.”
“When I grew up, my parents always made my birthdays about them.”
“They never invited my friends or close family.”
“They always invited their colleagues and friends, they had big parties where they drank a lot of alcohol.”
“So after I wanted to be sure to have a small party with close family, 12 persons, and nothing really big.”
“The party was yesterday.”
“I was helping my MIL when both my SILs and their husbands arrive.”
“They both also brought their in-laws and some friends.”
“So what was suppose to be a small party ended up with more than 40 persons.”
“My MIL was a bit fuming because we had to go buy more drinks and foods for uninvited guests.”
“The party went well until it was gifts time.”
“I opened gift from my MIL and FIL, then one from my boyfriend.”
“It was sweet.”
“Next, my SILs gifted me one small package for them both, which is fine, I asked for small gifts if they were willing to give one.”
“I opened it and it was a S-size shirt, I’m more XL and S, saying ‘Best future aunt’.”
“There was also, written with a marker pen ‘X2’.”
“The package also contained 2 positives pregnancy tests and a photo of them both touching their bellies.”
“I looked them in the eye, asking ‘are you pregnant?'”
“They both said yes.”
“Emily took the shirt out of my hands and showed it to everyone.”
“As I was starting to cry, I ran outside, my boyfriend following me.”
“I had a panic attack.”
“When I came back, everyone was happy and they were all congratulating the pregnant couples.”
“I felt really sad.”
“My boyfriend talked to his parents and we left the party without saying anything to anybody else.”
“I received, in the evening, some nasty texts from some of my boyfriend’s family saying things like ‘Why did you ruin their announcement?'”
“‘It was only a birthday party, please grow up’.”
“I do feel bad.”
“My boyfriend is planning on telling them to f*ck off but I don’t want him to ruin his relationships with his family.”
“My FIL and MIL called me to apologize, saying things got out of hand.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for letting her emotions get the better of her at her birthday party.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s SILs was not only insensitive, but borderline cruel, as both of them were well aware that not only was it her birthday, but she was dealing with fertility problems.
“So they learnt you can’t have kids, and really thought that announcing their pregnancies at your birthday party was a good idea?”
“That is unbelievably cruel.”
“Whether they are intentionally doing it or not, it really sounds like they’re rubbing it in your face and expecting, no, demanding you be okay with it.”
“Like ‘oh sucks you can’t have kids but we can, so be happy for us’.”
“Both you and your bf are NTA here, everyone else is, ESPECIALLY the SILs.”- Successful-Ratio9850
“Your SIL(s) showed up to a party that wasn’t theirs, with people who weren’t invited, and then hijacked the party to make it about them.”
“Oh and to top it all off, you’d previously told them you can’t become pregnant so the pregnancy announcement at your birthday party seems especially spiteful.”
“Just, wow.”- EastDay1858
“NTA – it’s your party and you can cry if you want to.”
“I think your SILs both knew that you can’t have children, right?”
“Why would they want to co-opt your birthday to make it about them?”
“And then not be compassionate when you got emotional?”
“I don’t know if everyone in your bf’s family are AHs but whoever sent you that text about ruining the announcement certainly is.”
“The other ones may just be a little tone-deaf.”- guitarlisa
“They know you can’t have kids and announced their pregnancies at your party.”
“That is disgusting.”- Status-Pattern7539
“Let him ruin the relationship with those harpies.”
“This is so wrong at so many levels.”
“No honey, you are not an AH at all.”
“At the first born nibbling birthday party be sure to invite 25 extra people then announce your plans to adopt.”
“See how they react.”
“I mean, it’s only a birthday party- the baby won’t even remember!”- BeautifulCharacter96
“NTA, you have an issue with your birthday and wanted a small party specifically because your parents used to make your birthdays about them.”
“Going ahead and ruining yet another of your birthdays by making it a huge party about something they know you’ll never have is the last thing you needed and beyond tone deaf.”
“I hope the extended family that’s insulting you now don’t know those details because if they do, they’re all a massive heap of dung, not just the SILs.”
“I usually agree adult birthdays aren’t a huge thing but these circumstances are special.”
“By bringing their own in-laws they already broke every social rule regarding your party.”
“They knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t for one second think about you.”
“Any woman knows pregnancies are a touchy subject and especially the SIL who had a miscarriage should know not to rub a sterile woman‘s nose in her happiness by hijacking her event and making it about pregnancies.”
“You didn’t ruin anything and I‘m glad your bf and his parents are on your side.”- RiverSong_777
“They didn’t steal your thunder, I honestly believe they are trying to hurt you, everything you asked for they threw it out the window, they are narcissists.”
“Please for the love of god don’t contact them anymore, they didn’t even think on how it would make you feel, only the boyfriend was decent in this story.”- this-is-very-cringe
“It’s already bad manners to hijack someone’s event for your own announcement, but them hijacking your birthday and making your literal birthday present their pregnancy announcements knowing you can’t have children is just insanely insensitive and self-centered.”
“It was never their event for you to ruin.”
“It is entirely the other way around.”
“The very fact that some people now see their hijacking as the real event of the day only underlines how shitty it was for them to do this.”-jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj
One can only hope that the OP’s SIL’s simply weren’t thinking when they planned their big announcement.
As if they were, and were aware of how hurtful their actions would be to the OP, then saying their behavior was cruel would be a serious understatement.
Should the OP be willing to forgive her SIL’s after this encounter, ideally after they offer her the profuse apology she deserves, then she will at least live up to her reputation of being the “best aunt ever.”