Raising newborns is one of the most tiring things in life. This is doubly so when you’re the one breastfeeding them, and exponentially more when you have multiple babies.
On Reddit, aitabreadtboob was just trying to take care of her kids, but her former mother-in-law (MIL) was making things even more difficult for her. The original poster (OP) was unsure if she was truly wrong, or if MIL was the one overreacting.
So she asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about her situation.
OP asked:
“AITA For not putting my boob away when I answered the door?”
There was no rest for a mother trying to care for her kids.
“I’m a single mom with an eighteen month old and a three week old, both on breast milk. Oldest is feeding up to five or six times a day, and baby is feeding every two to three hours, sometimes more often.”
“Basically, my boobs are no longer my property, and wearing anything that makes it difficult to pull them out at a moment notice is not an option.”
“So, no bra and very loose tanktops are my life.”
“To the issue; my toddler has been sick and so I’m very tired. I was feeding the baby when there was a knock at my door. I’d been expecting my friend over, so I didnt think twice about opening in, boob out, looking a hot mess.”
“Sadly, it was not my friend, and instead my (ex) mother and sister in law. Sil gasped and made a whole deal of turning away, whereas her mom looked on displeased.”
Children always choose the best time to make things worse.
“Of course, toddler decides this is optimal time to start crying, which disrupts an already upset baby, who stops latching and thus my nipple is on show to the world.”
“I basically leave them in the doorway while I get my boys situated. I try to avoid breastfeeding my toddler in front of them but he was not having it, so it was essentially just me walking them back out and locking the door so I could feed them both in peace.”
“For some reason they didnt leave, and when my friend showed up, they walked in with her. Friend has a spare key, dont know why I thought she was at the door in the first place.”
“I handed baby off because he was done, but realised toddler wouldn’t be done for a while so I succumbed to my fate. Sil was still looking very uncomfortable, and I was expecting some form of judgement for still feeding my son, which I got. Can always count on the mil.”
“After she finished I hoped she’d just leave, but then she made a rather appalling comment of, ‘No wonder Ex left you, when you’re whoring yourself around like that. Anyone could of been at the door, and you’re off swinging your tits about’.”
OP was just having the worst day.
“I, at this point, broke down crying.”
“My friend (who was upstairs putting the baby down) thankfully takes charge of the situation. Gets rid of them, convinces toddler into his bed, and then we watched movies and ate ice cream until baby woke up.”
“I sort of hoped that would be the end of it but I opened up my phone to an array of messages from my ex, my own parents and the other sister in law.”
“They’re essentially slut shaming me for feeding my baby. Saying that anyone could of seen me. Maybe someones kid who doesnt need to see that, even going as far to say I could of distracted drivers and caused a crash.”
“I’m starting to really doubt myself, and so my friend guided me here. She’s insisting I’m not in the wrong and seems to think you guys will agree, and if you do I plan on showing the comments to my ex and his family.”
“So, am I an a**hole for not putting my boob away before answering the door?”
On the AITA board, people explain what happened, what they did and ask if they were wrong. In turn, theoretically unbiased strangers on the internet provide as close to objective judgement as they can get.
This is done with one of the following acronyms in their comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP’s body is hers and hers alone. More importantly, she’s trying to just keep her babies fed.
The board felt her slip and revealing herself at the door wasn’t that big of a deal and the ex-MIL was the one at fault here.
They voted OP was NTA.
“NTA and more importantly your MIL IS the AH. Feeding a baby isn’t sexual and shame on anyone who says it is. Feed your babies, mama!” – Beatlebot88
“Constantly feeding these babies. I await the day I can finally wear a normal bra again! (Except not really because they’re super uncomfortable lol)” – aitabreadtboob (OP)
“NTA. You were feeding babies, not whoring around. Anyone who has a problem with babies eating is more of a perv than you are by miles.” – Massive-Emergency-42
“If they were so uncomfortable barging into your house unannounced full knowing that your schedule is to take care of two infants. You answered your own door, was it in a perfect state of dress? No, but you weren’t galivanting around your front yard swinging your breasts about like the imply”
“OP you are NTA. Your MIL and SIL are huge raging a**holes and anyone who texted you taking their side is too.”
“You are a mom feeding her kids In the privacy of your own home. And if they want to visit they can message ahead, not push their way in when an actual invited person shows up.”
“I can’t believe they just stood around in your porch and came in the second time. Really the god damn nerve.”
“I hope you lay down some strong boundaries that they need to start respecting you, and your breastfeeding and if they can’t then they can’t see you or the children you care for.” – lizard_amighty
Honestly, OP’s friend sounds like the best.
“NTA.”
“You are not at all the a**hole in this situation. You are in your home, caring for your children. They should be understanding and helpful and be glad to see you looking after your children.”
“Shame on them for their terrible attitudes.”
“Also, gold star for your friend. They’re a gem.” – _-TabulaRasa-_
“She really is amazing. I think I would of gone mad by now if it werent for her lol.” – aitabreadtboob (OP)
OP shouldn’t be shamed for the simple act of feeding her children. The ex-MIL should have minded her business, or better yet, just left the first time rather than come back.
Breastfeeding shouldn’t be this controversial.