Redditor burner1745 is a 28-year-old male and has a 29-year-old girlfriend who believes in a noble cause.
However, her devotion to the movement increasingly became too much to bear and caused him to snap.
Which led him to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit, where he asked:
“AITA for yelling at my girlfriend because she’s too environmentally friendly?”
The Original Poster (OP) asked readers to listen before making their judgments.
“I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. My (28m) girlfriend (29f) is very environmentally conscious which I also agree is a great thing to be.”
“However, she often takes it too far in minuscule things and I have finally reached my breaking point. I can probably name many more instances but here are a few.”
“A few months ago while driving to dinner there was an accident on the motorway and we were stuck in traffic on a hot day. It was over 33 degrees that day (that’s 91 for you Americans) and we were stuck in traffic baking in the car for almost two hours.”
“During this she refused to turn the car on to have A/C not because of money but because it was bad for the environment. I mean I get it running your car while standing still is a waste but when it’s THAT hot??”
“I ended up showing up to dinner drenched in sweat extremely, uncomfortable, and had a terrible time but I kept my mouth shut and we continued on.”
“I have worked remotely from home since the start of [the virus] while she still goes to work everyday. Since were getting into the winter months here we almost never see the sun during the day. It’s almost always overcast.”
“One day she came home early and saw that I had the light on during the day. If you ever work from home and it’s dark all the time you know how much it can influence your mood and productivity plus who wants to be sitting in the dark all day right?”
“Wrong, she got extremely upset that I was wasting energy (mind you we have super efficient Phillips LED lights) I told her that I only waste a few cents a day in energy, but of course she refused to acknowledge that she may be wrong.”
“Yesterday was finally my breaking point. I had taken advantage of Black Friday and bought 4 items that I had been wanting from 4 different stores saving almost 200€.”
“When I told her about my exciting purchases she got extremely upset that I would purchase things from 4 different stores as that was 4 delivers which is bad for the environment, and said I should have bought it all from one place (which would have been way more expensive).”
“I had enough I flipped out on her and told her if she cares so much about the environment she should go protest the big companies that are actually contributing to global warming and stop nagging me about. She got upset and left.”
“So Reddit I know the environment is important but AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A majority of Redditors sided with the OP.
“NTA. Life is about balance, and constantly criticizing your partner for wastefulness isn’t going to accomplish anything positive.” – MarsNeedsRabbits
“Let her know all her talking is just creating more CO2 and toxic fumes.” – TaitorTotMom
“Your girlfriend is cherrypicking environmental concerns. And this doesn’t sound like environmentalism as much as it sound like being compulsive and controlling.”
“Unless the two of you are completely living off the grid, growing your own food, walking and not driving etc. she leaves a carbon footprint all the time and you are the doormat she is wiping her feet on everyday.”
“I think you need to ask yourself why you have put up with this for so long. You need to start speaking up regularly and setting some limits on her.”
“It’s worth the argument to preserve your self worth and your relationship. NTA.” – ifartalot2
“NTA. But you know who sucks? People who put all the blame for climate change/environmental crisis on individuals.”
“Of course we should all be doing our part (it sounds like you are), but it sounds like your girlfriend is the sort of person who shames people for occasionally using a disposable bag or taking the elevator when you could climb 12 flights of stairs.”
“But guess what!? It barely matters! The vast majority of pollution comes from large corporation and poor systemic practices. If your GF wants to channel her rage at someone, maybe she can work on climate lobbying or activism, or organize for better practices in your municipality or region.”
“But putting blame on individuals is not only rude, it doesn’t actually do anything other than virtue signaling!” – Clare_Not_A_Bear
“NTA. Even when I order 4 items all from Amazon or Wal-Mart or Kohl’s or wherever, I usually get at least 2 or 3 different deliveries anyway.”
“Also, does she think her office shouldn’t turn on the lights during the daytime? Who works in the dark?”
“If you can’t have a serious talk with her about boundaries (‘I’m willing to do X for the environment but not Y’) and have her agree to stop nagging you otherwise, I don’t know how this relationship is going to survive.” – EinsTwo
Overall, Redditors declared the OP was NTA and suggested the girlfriend should either make compromises in the relationship or channel her activism elsewhere if she was truly dedicated to her cause.