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Guy Livid After Wife Neglects To Pack His Dress Slacks For Last-Minute Work Trip She Didn’t Go On

Woman packing suitcase
Adene Sanchez/Getty Images

Last-minute work trips can cause a lot of unexpected stress. That stress only gets magnified when other people get involved.

In the case of Redditor justlazybrowsing, his last-minute business trip caused a fight between him and his wife.

The fight was such that he decided to turn to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for insight.

He asked,

“AITA for saying it’s my wife’s fault that my slacks didn’t get packed for my work trip?”

The Original Poster (OP) went on to tell his story.

Hi, first time poster. My wife [30-year-old Female] and I [31-year-old Male] have been married for about 7 years now.”

“I decided to go on a last-minute work trip which caused me to have to book flights, hotel, etc., late at night and then fly out the next day.”

“I needed new work slacks for the trip since I’ve primarily been working from home in my current company, so we had to make a late-night run to the local Walmart to get a few pairs.”

“We also got some button-up shirts. When we got home, I had some stuff to finish up with the planning, so I asked my wife to wash my new clothes so that my shirts weren’t so wrinkly.”

“I handed her the shirts to wash separately and put the pants in the dirty laundry.”

“While they washed, she packed my suitcase and then added the shirts when they were done.”

“When it came time to leave, I verified everything was packed by asking her if she packed my pants. She said yes.”

“Cue to late the next night when I arrive at my hotel and my slacks aren’t in there—only my brown khakis and gray khakis.”

“I called her pretty upset, asking where my slacks were.”

“She got defensive and told me she thought she packed all my clothes (I had laid them out on the bed beside the stuff to be washed) and told me they should be in there.”

“I made her check the laundry room to be sure, and she looked around the whole house before finding them in our bedroom laundry basket unwashed.”

“I repeated a few times how I was frustrated that she hadn’t packed them but had told me that she did.”

“She said she didn’t realize by “pants” I meant my slacks and that she was busy trying to do other stuff and just had a memory of packing some pants with all the other things I had laid out.”

“She also said it was unreasonable for me to be upset with her when they are my pants, and she didn’t think she was expected to do a whole second load of laundry at midnight.”

“In the end, she attempted to make me feel better by saying that it would be okay and my work would understand that sometimes things get a bit hectic with packing and traveling last minute (and I can buy more in the evening, hopefully).”

“I feel kind of bad ’cause I could tell she was frustrated with me for blaming her, but in my defense, I did ask her if she had packed everything.”

“TL;DR my wife forgot to pack my slacks for a work trip and I was frustrated with her over the phone so we argued. AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“YTA – you’re a grown adult and should be doing your own packing and laundry. It is your responsibility to check that all the items were in the suitcase before leaving”

“I’m also not sure why you put the clothes in a dirty garment hamper, as the only reason they would have been discovered is if your wife decided in the middle of the chaos of your departure to put a load of laundry on.”

“If you wanted these specific items washed at once, they should have been in the direct vicinity of the washing machine, or you should have put them on yourself.”

“Putting washing on takes all of a minute” – Spineberry

It appears from your story you didn’t ask your wife also to launder the slacks, or even let her know they were in the laundry. You just handed her the shirts.”

“I’m the chief laundry-doer in my household. If I were laundering new clothing to get out the wrinkles (which…? Not sure why I wouldn’t just iron or steam but running with your scenario…), I would wash all the new clothing together on a quick 15-minute cold cycle so it’d be fast and efficient.”

“So: there would be no reason for me to look in the hamper for more.”

“YTA. Apologize to your wife and thank her for the work she does to support you, which is not limited to last minute laundry and packing but also involves taking care of everything at home while you’re away.” – GeorgeFayne

INFO: why did you put the pants in the laundry yet hand her the shirts? Why did you want her to do two separate loads instead of tossing them all in together??”

“YTA. You’re an adult.”

“You are responsible for packing your suitcase or at least checking and making sure that your bag is packed.”

“Your wife was doing you a huge favor in the middle of the night. While doing laundry isn’t hard, there’s a lot of waiting around while the machines are running.” – Stella430

When people talk about the “emotional labor” women have to do, this is the type of crap they mean.”

“Why in the world would an adult not going on the trip, not privy to the ins and outs of the trip (e.g., The itinerary? Business dinners? Visiting the shop floor? Team building events?) be expected to pack for the adult who’s responsibility it is to plan for those things because THEY KNOW what those things are?”

“So she should be expected to know what a whole an** other human wants and needs for a business trip? It doesn’t even make sense!”

“My husband has no idea what face wash, makeup, clothes, undergarments that go with those clothes, shoes, etc., I’d need because that is just so strange.”

“It’s like there are two people living for one person. All of her effort going towards just making him one whole person. It’s weird as f*ck and very, very ‘Boomer-executive wife.’”

“Grow up. YTA.” – Chewbacca_Buffy

YTA. Look, I understand asking for help in this chaotic situation.”

“But I cannot wrap my head around handling her the shirts but then throwing the slacks in the hamper.”

“If I was in her situation, I also would have only assumed you were asking me to wash the clothes you handed me.”

“I would definitely not have assumed that you wanted me to pack something that was in the hamper.”

“In fact, if something was in the hamper, even clothes that were not new, that you needed to pack, I would have assumed you would have specifically dug it out and handed it to me along with the shirts and slacks.”

“Hey, I understand that planning last-minute travel is stressful! I’m glad to do something to help my partner out!”

“But my partner has to make some pretty basic logical choices when asking me for my last-minute help as well.” – lumabugg


“My friend, you‘re 31 years old and a fully grown adult. She made a minor mistake without any bad intentions.”

“Guess what? You‘re old enough and hopefully capable of packing your stuff on your own, including your beloved slacks.”

“Your reaction should serve her as a warning.” – realstareyes


“‘I handed her the shirts to wash separately and put the pants in the dirty laundry.’”

“So, how did you expect this to play out? Was she expected to dig through the dirty laundry in case you hid something in there that you needed?”

“Develop systems that work even, especially when you are in a rush. A checklist is really good to get the things done and then check that you did the things that you wanted to do.”

“Blaming your wife for what’s ultimately your responsibility is an arsehole move. You didn’t delegate the task properly or do a final check yourself.” – anonymous_for_this

“YTA. Is your washing machine in your bedroom? Is your wife a mind reader?” – slee82612

The OP went on to update the thread.

“I accept that IATA and have apologized to my wife.”

“She responded graciously and told me she knows a lot of it was just my stress from traveling and worrying about work. We are good now, and I promised to do better in the future.”

“Thanks to everyone who engaged with me civilly in the comments.”

“I showed my wife the post, and she wants to say that she is a little surprised at how angry everyone else was (she says she was frustrated but knew it’s not a pattern), especially some individual messages that some very angry people decided to send me.”

Hopefully, this argument will serve the couple in a positive way.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)