Being hungry can seriously impact your life.
So many families struggle with food instability.
And prices keep on going up though.
The stats of those who are going hungry on the daily are heartbreaking.
So it’s nice when the people who do have funds help.
But sometimes, the helping message can get mixed up.
Case in point…
Redditor aitah-dinner wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for taking my daughter’s boyfriend out to dinner?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My 14-year-old daughter May has been dating this boy Félix (also 14) for a couple of months now.”
“He’s a nice boy, really polite, but I can tell he most likely isn’t from a well-to-do family.”
“I don’t have a problem with this though because as I said, he seems like a good person and that’s what counts.”
“He was going to take my daughter out for ice cream earlier today, and while he was waiting for her to get ready he asked me if he could have some peanut butter.”
“I said oh, don’t you want to save room for the date, but he explained he didn’t have enough money to buy something for himself (he’s always paid on their dates as far as I know).”
“This poor kid was so hungry I could hear his stomach growling.”
“I offered to give him some money, but he said he’s not allowed to accept cash.”
“I then asked him if it’d be alright if I took him out for dinner with my daughter, and he called his mom, and she said it was ok.”
“When May came downstairs, I told her the new plan. “
“She was upset and thought it was lame that I’d be with them.”
“I said I could just sit in the car, and she could call me when it was time to pick up the check, but she was having none of it and said she was going out with some friends instead.”
“It was a little embarrassing since she basically dumped him in front of me, but I kind of just moved on and asked Félix if he still wanted to go.”
“He said yeah, so I took him down to Wendy’s.”
“We had a good time, but when I told May where I’d been, she was furious.”
“She accused me of liking her boyfriend romantically and that I shouldn’t have gone ‘on a date’ with him without her.”
“I reminded her I’d given her that option, and she’d refused, but she said that didn’t change anything, and now she can’t trust me with any of her boyfriends.”
“I tried to tell her I’m not interested in her boyfriend at all, but she just ran out of the room.”
“I feel bad for her, but I don’t think I did anything wrong.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, but you want to look at your daughter’s attitude.” ~ DrMamaBear
“Honestly, OP should sit down and have a stern conversation with their kid as to why this is incredibly inappropriate to accuse and say.”
“Not only is it very disrespectful but imagine the damn kid then going to b**ch to her friends about this and saying some backward sh*t about their parent… not cool.”
“Communication is incredibly important when it comes to raising kids, and it should be a regular interaction/practice from a young age.”
“They need to learn basic proprieties and that actions have consequences, and that includes what comes out of your mouth and the importance of accountability.”
“As a parent to a preteen, I understand that they’re going to be emotional and say dumb sh*t, but I think for OP’s kid acting like this, it shows a lot, and not in a good way.”
“The kid sounds like a brat.” ~tattoosbyalisha
“Sure, 14-year-olds can be little pr*cks.”
“But it’s the parents’ (I.e. the OP) responsibility to guide them when they are.”
“The OP knew this kid was likely paying for all the dates despite not being financially well off and doesn’t seem to have done anything about it.”
“This whole situation goes down, and instead of being appalled by her daughter’s behavior, she’s more worried she overstepped.”
“The daughter is becoming an AH under the OP’s nose, and she doesn’t seem to be doing much about it.” ~ 0biterdicta
“OP doesn’t mention what actions are going to be taken going forward.”
“I mean the 14-year-old daughter thinks it’s fine to disrespect her B[oy]F[riend], parent, and then is still allowed to go out with friends.”
“Sure, we can give OP the benefit of the doubt.”
“Still seems wild that the daughter was allowed to go out with friends after her horrible behavior.” ~ xiaozi06
“Excellent point, but it may have been that she didn’t want to make a scene in front of BF.”
“The was probably embarrassed enough by the situation as it was, if the daughter had also gotten grounded as a result of it, she definitely would have turned that on the kid too.” ~ SwampWitch1985
“I cannot imagine acting like the daughter, even as a teen.”
“So she just orders food for herself and sits there eating while he sips some water with his stomach audibly growling?”
“And feel no guilt whatsoever? Ugh.”
“I’m not going to blame OP’s parenting thus far, but something clearly needs to be done now that she’s aware of this behavior.” ~ rcburner
“OP, you’re awesome.”
“My kids bring kids like this around regularly because they know what we will do.”
“We feed them.”
“We let them stay for as long as their parents let them (sometimes days at a time).”
“We send bags of snacks with them.”
“‘We had one kid who had to hide their food because their parents wouldn’t let them accept food from others, and this poor kid was starving (C[hild] P[rotective] S[ervices] got involved).”
“You helped someone who clearly needed it.”
“Your daughter needs a serious attitude adjustment – preferably before she gets the wrong idea and tells other kids about her boyfriend’s difficult situation.” ~ SincerelyCynical
“Absolutely NTA But what you could do in the future is give May the money to take Felix on a date.”
“It’s 2023, so women should also pay!” ~ sikonat
“This! But also have a talk with her about her attitude.”
“She needs to learn empathy and compassion for others.”
“Not everyone is going to have the same financial resources.”
“She bailed on going out with him for her friends because plans changed to dinner.”
“You offered to stay in the car while they are, but nope!!”
“Now she’s claiming you shouldn’t have gone on a date with him without her.”
“She can’t have it both ways.”
“You did everything right. 1000% NTA.” ~ PravinI123
“You had me at that she dumped him for her friends.”
“That is worth having a chat with her about.”
“NTA for taking him out.”
“The kid was going to go hungry in order to buy her an ice cream.”
“This kid will be going places when he grows up.” ~ Brilliant-Arthur
“That was a very sweet story. NTA.”
“But, at AITA, there is always a but…”
“Talk to your daughter when her tantrum subsides about generosity and kindness, and maybe a little ‘avoid false accusations.'”
“It may seem silly, but some people are believing the very worst on flimsier evidence.” ~ Inner-Show-1172
“Also at 14, she’s probably clueless as to how bad poverty can be if she hasn’t ever experienced it.”
“I remember being shocked there were kids going hungry at my school because their parents couldn’t afford to buy them lunch (we had no canteen, so it was packed lunch or nothing).”
“Being open about the whole ‘I could hear his stomach rumbling, and he asked me for food because he was going to spend the little he had on you.'”
“Might be an eye opener for her that sometimes other people are living a very different experience to her.” ~ Ybuzz
“NTA. But it seems like you may be raising an AH.”
“You need to stop protecting her from the reality of life.”
“I’m sorry but she currently sounds so friggin’ oblivious to the hardships of others and awful and I say this as a mother of a 14-year-old daughter… who would never behave this way or even think these things.” ~ Hadtosignuptofothis
“NTA, but after she’s had some time to calm down from her anger, sit down and have a chat with her about it.”
“See what really set her off.”
“And maybe point out that it is Super illegal for you to have a romantic interest in her boyfriend.”
“But it is not weird to take a parental interest in your daughter’s boyfriend.”
“And based on what you have shared with us, you have only taken an appropriate parental interest.” ~ Minnichi
“NTA. Pull your daughter aside, sit her down, and explain all the reasons you suspect he isn’t well off and why you did what you did.”
“You are a good person and shouldn’t let this fester in her for long.”
“Kids will think they know everything, and eventually, it will stick in her mind that what she said is true.”
“If she still doesn’t seem to care after understanding or starts to bully him at school for this, you have a whole new problem about that kid.” ~ FurrenParagon
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Felix was hungry.
You did a nice thing for him.
It sounds like you may need to have a bigger conversation with your daughter.
She clearly misconstrued the situation.
Maybe she really doesn’t see Felix’s issues clearly.
Hopefully, this will all be resolved soon.
And best of luck to Felix.