People’s dietary needs and restrictions can become a real problem in living situations.
Especially if it’s a roommate setup and not a couple’s thing.
Couples will tend to show more leeway towards one another.
But roommates, on the other hand, are a different story entirely.
Case in point…
Redditor OpeningOrchid4141 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for telling my vegan roommate no one cares about her documentaries?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (18 M[ale]) am living in shared accommodations with (18 F[emakle]) and 3 other people for college.”
“We all have our own rooms but share the kitchen and living area.”
“I will call my vegan roommate Sarah for the purpose of this post.”
“I’m totally fine with veganism and Sarah is nice enough.”
‘When we first moved in she asked if she could have the top fridge shelf and to keep it vegan, and to not use her cooking things without asking and to only use it to make things like vegetables to avoid cross-contamination.”
“This isn’t an issue and I respect her choices.”
“However as the weeks have gone on it seems like she is subtly trying to convert the flat, for example by sending everyone various documentaries on WhatsApp and suggesting we watch them whenever we do movie night.”
“At first it was fine but at this point, it’s honestly annoying, and more than just me feels this way.”
“Also, she is rather judgemental and will leave any room someone is eating meat in.”
“Well, last night I confronted her and essentially told her I’m not going to become a vegan, that I don’t care about the documentaries, and that she’s coming across as pushy.”
“She got upset and I’m wondering if I was too harsh.”
“I was told to include that I did tell her I wasn’t interested over text first when she initially sent the documentaries.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – The reason so many despise vegans isn’t usually because they don’t eat meat. It’s because so many of them tend to be so damn preachy like your roommate.”
“Ignoring it won’t make the problem go away, so the way I see it is that you have two ways to shut this down…”
“1) keep telling her to knock it off and that no one cares, or…”
“2) watch a documentary with her, specifically one in which they show animals being slaughtered, and make sure to say at the end: Wow, I really need a cheeseburger right now.”
“Number 1 is the nice way. Number 2 would make you an AH, but it can be a lot more fun.” ~ okIhaveANopinionHERE
“I used to work with a vegan in an Applebee’s.”
“This idiot would go up to the cooks while they were flipping burgers and ask if they’d die for an animal’s rights.”
“Dude, this is literally an Applebee’s, no one f**king cares.”
“Also, you’re working here too, so clearly your convictions aren’t that serious.” ~ Murda981
“As a vegan, vegans can be annoying as s**t.”
“I don’t care what you eat as long as you are fed and happy.”
“It’s when people get pushy; it’s time to speak up (preaching veganism or pushing meat, just mind your damn business) OP is not the a**hole.”
“I’d put a stop to it too.”
“If you were interested in going vegan, I’m sure you’d ask questions or for recipes or whatever.”
“But you aren’t.”
“And that’s fine.” ~ a-rockett
“I had a vegan friend who I went to a Halloween party with.”
“Someone asked him what he was, and he jumped into a very long speech about how he was a vegan and why he was a vegan and how great it was to be a vegan.”
“You know, like a 10 (maybe longer) minute explanation that I tuned out because I’ve heard it a million times before… lol.”
“Afterwards, there was a pause, and the person clarified, ‘No, you’re costume. What are you?'”
“He was a vampire, by the way, but unfortunately, he just looked like a girl, which is probably why she asked… LOL.”
“Needless to say, he deflated a little… lol.”
“I’m glad that not all vegans like to preach about how bad meat is (both in health and environment) because, at the end of the day, people are still going to eat what they want to eat.” ~ Kiaider
“Vegans can be pushy, but man… So can some people who watch documentaries, haha.”
“I’ve had so many friends, despite how many times I mention not being interested in docs, will still come at me with “‘ou should really check out…'”
“It’s kind of maddening haha.”
“It got to the point where I would let them finish and flat out say, ‘Yeah, I’m not ever going to watch that.'” ~ mufasamufasamufasa
“Those kinds of people are the reason people roll their eyes at me and go: ‘Ugh, one of those.'”
“Like lady, I am looking at the vegetarian burgers here to fill up my cart.”
“I did not yell at you not to buy those sausages, so leave me alone as well.”
“Asking in a restaurant if there are vegetarian dishes, as a vegetarian, doesn’t make someone a snob.”
“It is just asking for their diet preferences.”
“A lot of people don’t know this, but a vegan or vegetarian can not just eat meat for once.”
“They do not have the enzymes anymore, and breaking down animal fat and proteins goes badly.”
“Making them sick.”
“I hate vegetarians and vegans giving us a bad name.”
“Just freaking let people eat what they want. And let my dog also eat his salmon!” ~ Mundane_Morning9454
“This!! Like I’m vegetarian.”
“And somehow, some vegans hound me to become vegan.”
“Like dude, not the way to make me become vegan.”
“Let me eat my eggs in peace, and my cat eat her carnivore diet.”
“No, I won’t force my cat to eat some veggies just to force her into your or my beliefs.”
“She is a carnivore; I am not changing eons of evolutionary dietary preference just because.”
“Reminds me of a vegan I met traveling through Myanmar complaining about the food and how terrible people were in general for not being more ‘vegan options.'”
“In a country where monks eat vegan, and there are vegan options.”
“But not the ones she wanted because why doesn’t a third-world country have VEGAN CHEESE or VEGAN ICE CREAM?”
“Let’s not forget that in most places, being able to be vegan is a privilege.” ~ Good-Groundbreaking
“NTA. This behavior is obnoxious, and politely telling her to stop is justified.”
“She would almost certainly object extremely strongly were the shoe on the other foot (e.g. you sending her videos of barbeque or something).” ~ SlippySloppyToad
“She can leave the room if she wants to.”
“Many people are vegan for moral and ethical reasons.”
“I also understand wanting people around you to understand those reasons.”
“However, of course, you can’t push people around you to understand, and it’s sucky when you are pushy.”
“I agree, NTA, but leaving the room isn’t over the top UNLESS she makes a scene when she does it.”
“It would be over the top if she forced others not to eat meat in common areas when she is in them.” ~ Upstairs_Actuary5393
“If she has such a strong aversion to being around meat, leaving the room seems like it’s not a totally bad option since it doesn’t affect anyone else.”
“It doesn’t disrupt anything or cause a scene, and at least she’s not making someone else leave, or sitting there glaring at people while they eat, or lecturing them about why they should be vegan instead or something like that.”
“Sounds like she’s simply removing herself from a situation she doesn’t want to be in.”
“I agree that OP is NTA, but if the roommate wants to leave the room, I say go for it.”
“Granted, she arguably should’ve thought about that before living with non-vegans, but here we are!” ~ WanderingLemon13
“NTA. No one wants to live with an evangelist.”
“Doesn’t matter if they’re stumping for religion, veganism, a politician, or the benefits of using hemp over cotton.”
“If she does it again, I would tell her you didn’t sign up to be preached to, and if she feels so passionately about it, she should move into an all-vegan household.” ~ CheckIntelligent7828
“NTA – she comes off as lowkey passive-aggressive.”
“But I can’t really judge you since the way you said it and the wording could make a huge difference.” ~ Pineapple-Maniac
“NTA. If you wanted to know more about being vegan, you would have asked.”
“Her evangelizing is going over the top.”
“Next time you see her, ask if she wants to watch some of Ted Nugent’s hunting shows.” ~ Baboon_Stew
“NTA. It’s one thing about her being vegan, which is fine.”
“But unless you’re leaving out facts that someone asks or shown interest, then no, you’re not the AH.”
“Sarah can be passionate about it all she wants.”
“But to start trying put her ideals unprompted… it becomes an issue.”
“She needs to not try to convert people.”
“She might be a new vegan, and like new Christians, they feel the need to save the world.” ~ corax_lives
“NTA. My catholic college roommate tried to get me to use natural family planning when dating and left anti-abortion pamphlets everywhere and I told her I’m not interested.” ~ Apsara7
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
This is a tricky situation.
Well, all roommate situations tend to be tricky.
You have a right to your feelings.
Sarah may need some education on how to discuss her diet with people.
Stay calm and respectful.
Hopefully, it will all work out.