The teaching profession is an essential part of society.
And it’s not an easy profession.
In fact, it becomes more difficult every day.
Budgets are tight, classrooms are overflowing, and education has become highly politicized.
And this is all before getting into safety issues.
So why would anyone insult a teacher?
Case in point…
Redditor AngrySalad3231 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for the comment I made after my B[rother]-I[n]-L[aw] insulted my career?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (22 F[emale]) am a teacher.”
“I came home from school yesterday in not the best mood, and my fiancé, ‘Jake’ (25 M[ale]) immediately noticed I wasn’t acting like myself.”
“He asked me what happened, and although I didn’t really go into too much detail, I told him it was a rough day at work.”
“Then Jake’s brother, ‘Daniel’ (31 M[ale]), who is currently staying with us, chimed into the conversation from across the room.”
“He said that I didn’t have a right to complain because teachers are glorified babysitters and that if I had a ‘real job,’ maybe he’d understand.”
“Normally, I try to brush these comments off, and honestly, at first, I wasn’t sure if he was kidding, so I gave him the opportunity to repeat what he said, but he was serious.”
“The second time, he added that he didn’t understand why I didn’t want to do something ‘meaningful and productive’ with my life.”
“At this point, Jake was getting pretty upset listening to this happen.”
“He and Daniel have a very tumultuous relationship that they were recently working on, but he told Daniel that if he continues to speak to me that way, he would have to leave our house.”
“It is also important to add here that Daniel works really long hours in a hospital, has a 2-year-old daughter, and has commented previously about how he wishes he had more time to spend with her.”
“In the moment of my frustration, I responded to Daniel’s comments by saying, ‘At least I get to spend every holiday and summer with my family. That’s what is meaningful and productive to me.'”
“Daniel stormed out, and shortly after, I felt really bad about what I’d said.”
“I asked Jake if I should text Daniel and apologize or wait for him to come back and do it in person.”
“Jake said that I’m NTA and that Daniel needs to be the first one to apologize to me.”
“Jake even went as far as to say that if I did not receive an apology, Daniel would not be at our wedding, which I think might be a bit extreme.”
“I can see both sides here.”
“Daniel did start the argument and enter a conversation that wasn’t about him, to begin with quite aggressively, but I’m now unsure if my comments were out of line.”
The OP was left to wonder,
“AITA? Should I apologize to Daniel?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. That was a great retort, and you do not owe him an apology.”
“Listen to your fiancee on this.”
“Sounds like he has your back, which is actually refreshing to hear on an AITA thread.” ~ alv269
“It really is. And just in case Daniel stumbles upon this post: Teaching is a real job.”
“Respect teachers. And apologize to OP.” ~ Heavy_Sand5228
“I feel that OP missed a great opportunity to bring up the fact that it’s the glorified babysitters that will spend time with and shape his daughter into a person.”
“Fiance is right, NTA.” ~ Jedisilk015
“Teaching isn’t a job… I don’t know what it is, but it’s not a job.”
“Like a job, you can clock out and go on about your life.”
“Teaching, you’re doing a million things at once with multiple kids.”
“Not just 3 or 6. But like 10, 20. Sometimes 35+!”
“Imagine trying to wrangle them all in to pay attention, to learn, but also to help them deal with whatever is going on at home, with their friends, their self-esteem.”
“Then the death threats, fights, the ‘not my child’ type of parents.”
“And on top of that, you gotta deal with the administration and state testing, rules and regulations.”
“And then, you gotta wake up and do it all over again… with the same mini humans, over and over for 200+ days a year?!”
“Yeah, teaching isn’t a job.”
“It’s… a word that hasn’t even been made yet.”
“Lol, and damn it, they all deserve raises with monthly bonuses… and an unlimited credit card to use for school purposes.”
“Which includes therapy or any medication they need to help with the anxiety, depression, blood pressure, etc… and a weekly wine or weed supply, depending on the teacher’s vice. LOL.”
“Daniel, you suck.” ~ CiCi_Run
“NTA. Teachers are the most important profession in our society.”
“Without teachers, there would be no other professions, and we pay and treat teachers like garbage.”
“People like Daniel need to be put in their place at every opportunity possible.”
“And, at the very least, Daniel is a guest in your home and, as such, needs to be treating his hosts with a certain level of respect and manners.” ~ bamf1701
“Based on what I read, Daniel is living in your home with you and your fiancé?”
“If so, he shouldn’t insult one of the people who has provided a place for him to live.”
“He needs to apologize first because he was the one who commented first. NTA.” ~ jasperjamboree
OP responded…
“He, his wife, and his daughter are staying here briefly.”
“They are in the process of a move, and some renovations are being completed at the new house.”
“So we offered to allow them to stay in our spare bedroom for the time being to make the whole process easier and hopefully a little less chaotic.”
“So technically, we are providing a place to live, but only for about a week or two.”
Reddit continued…
“Still NTA. Comments like this deserve to be called out.”
“He’s an AH for even thinking what he decided actually to say out loud.”
“Pretty sure he wouldn’t be where he is in his career without some good teachers along the way.”
“If I were you, he’d be lucky. That’s all he heard in rebuttal.”
“Even if it is temporary and they are in the middle of a move, you’ve opened your home to him and his family.”
“Listen to Jake.”
“He is a good one to have your back and wanting to hold Daniel accountable for his shi**y comment.” ~ ThrowRAwndrlst
“NTA. Regardless of what either of you do for a living, it’s about respect.”
‘He said it, he repeated it, and he meant it.”
“If he chooses to disrespect someone in their own home, he needs to be called out for it.” ~ Proper-District8608
“NTA. He started it, he doesn’t get to decide how you finish it.”
“You weren’t even talking to him, and he insults your profession?”
“Does he have a brain? What did he think was going to come of this?”
“Plus you and your fiancé are helping him and his family.”
“Great way to show appreciation.” ~ Vandreeson
“NTA. OP but next time he comes with his BS, you can kindly remind him his daughter ‘glorified babysitter’ will spend more time with his child than him but could be doing something more ‘meaningful and productive’ than educate her.” ~ Commercial-Loan-929
“Super NTA here.”
“If you are a guest in someone’s home, especially for free, you do not insult your hosts.”
“I agree with your fiancé. If this is how he behaves when he’s indebted to you, maybe it’s time to stop granting favors.” ~ Matthew0275
“NTA. I’m a music education major and just entered my junior year of college.”
“I will NEVER understand people that downplay the importance of teachers and how hard their job really is.”
“There are one million things that factor into the success of your classroom, and it’s your responsibility to juggle them all.”
“At one time. That is no small feat!”
“Not to mention that teachers get paid and treated like s**t for the INCREDIBLE amount of work they do.”
“What Daniel said to you was unacceptable, and while I don’t think that justifies the hurtful comment you retaliated with, he is also a guest in your home.”
“You had every right to defend yourself.”
“If he doesn’t like teachers, he doesn’t have to be one, but putting down your extremely challenging career is out of line.” ~ soog0704
“NTA. If Daniel wants to belittle your career choice and question why you would do it, there’s no reason not to tell him the reason, even if it bothers him.”
“Even if his ‘glorified babysitter’ comment had merit (it doesn’t), I would love to see him babysit 20-30 kids at the same time.” ~ Petite_Bait
“Info: he works long hours at a hospital?”
“Am I right in assuming he has sort of higher education?”
“You would think he would have more respect for those who sat around ‘babysitting’ him for a couple of decades while he taught himself how to read and count so that he could get that degree. NTA.” ~ az22hctac
OP responded…
“Yes he does have several degrees (as do I), but he likes to bring his into conversation often.”
“As I was a high achieving student, when I chose to go into education, he judged me pretty harshly for it.”
“So his feelings here aren’t new, but it was the first time he mentioned it so directly and unprovoked.”
“He values education, but seems to subscribe to the mantra that ‘those who can’t do, teach’ and often tells me my career choice was a ‘waste of potential.'”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that, especially in your own home.
Teachers are ESSENTIAL!
It’s difficult work.
Thank you for all you do.
Stay strong.