An older sibling can be a great person to have around. They guide you through the major milestones and offer lessons learned from the mistakes they made when in your position.
But where is the line between healthy reliance on a big brother or sister and totally crossing a line?
For one Redditor, that line may still be a mystery. But he certainly knew when his younger brother crossed clear beyond it.
Known as justnoJoe on the site, the Original Poster (OP) recounted a recent experience on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
OP’s title on the post said it all:
“AITA for ratting out my brother after I found out he was using my pic to catfish a girl?”
He began with a quick character sketch of the younger brother at hand.
“I just found this out earlier and I don’t know what to think.”
“My brother is 15 and I’m [a 19-year-old male]. He’s kind of shy, doesn’t have that many friends so he spends most of his time online and stuff.”
A punishment led to some borrowing.
“Well today my mom took his phone away because he didn’t do his chores at all today by the time she got home and wasn’t allowed to use it til he finished.”
“My brother begged me to use mine for like an hour because he needed to talk to someone. I was going to workout downstairs anyways so I let him use it. When I got out the shower he left my phone on my bed.”
“I saw a notification on my screen from my kik but it was someone I didn’t know saying ‘I love u too.'”
OP couldn’t help but do some snooping.
“Then I thought he probably left it logged in to his account.”
“But when I went to the app to log out I freaked out cuz I saw a pic of me as his profile. But with his name. I saw he was only messaging with one person and it was some girl.”
“But looked like they were together online and then earlier he sent her a random selfie of me from when I went hiking saying that’s what he was doing right now. It was so fu**ing weird.”
OP quickly connected the dots.
“He was pretending to be me with this chick. I didn’t know what else to except message the girl back telling her idk where they met but it’s definitely not me she been talking to.”
“She thought I was messing around first but I told her I was serious.”
“We only chatted a little. The girl said she was sorry and she had no idea. I logged out of the account and my brother got a message from her where she basically broke up with him.”
But OP’s brother felt differently.
“He came into my room pissed because I just ruined this for him and it wasn’t a big deal to tell her anything. My brother said he liked her and it’s not like they were gonna meet anyways so didn’t hurt anybody to lie.”
So he’s not talking to me because I made her breakup with him and I’m not sure if I was TA for telling her the truth in the end.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors threw their support behind OP. Plenty weighed in on the moral problems of catfishing.
“NTA. I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and claiming ‘it doesn’t hurt anyone to lie’ is just BS.”
“He’s messing with this girl which is not only completely wrong, but combined with the fact that he is underage this could have got all three of them in a very complicated and serious situation.”
“I hope you’re ok OP, and I hope your brother is able to calm down, reflect, and see the reality of this situation.” — schmoigel
“Nta catfishing is gross and everyone who does it deserves to be exposed and humiliated.” — NotThatValleyGirl
“NTA. Thank you for saving the internet from another catfish”
“Sincerely All women” — YeaNo91
“NTA, good of you to have done that. Internet can be a shady place and cat fishing someone is NOT okay.” — Foreverblowingbubble
Others brought up legal considerations.
“NTA, also depending on her age she could get you in trouble. If she had sent nudes or sexted him pretending it was you. Then you could get in trouble with the law.” — CrimsonArt762
“NTA. And I would definitely tell a parent. What he did was illegal and could have had far reaching consequences.” — The_final_frontier_
NTA. Maybe you should remind him that using someone else’s identity is a federal offence. And if this girl was underage that you could be in real trouble. DO NOT let him go easy on this.”
“It’s not a little white lie. What he did could have serious consequences.” — BH5432
And a good amount of Redditors advocated telling his parents. They pointed to more generally concerning elements that underpinned OP’s brother’s behavior.
“NTA, but you need to approach your parents about this. This is identity theft, and it is a serious crime to commit as an adult.”
“I know he isn’t an adult now, but depending on the age of the young woman, and if any sexual content was shared via the app, you could both be liable.”
“This is super dangerous behavior and you ‘breaking them up’ is just step one in addressing the situation.”
“Lying in general is wrong of course, but there are levels: Lying by stealing someone else’s identity, and using it to entice romantic or sexual partners is a massive WTF that shouldn’t go overlooked. This isn’t the same thing as using your new gaming console when you’re not home and pretending he didn’t touch it.”
“He lured a young woman into an online relationship using false information and he needs to know how big of a deal that is.” — tidal_dragon
“NTA at ALL.”
“This could have been dangerous for you, depending on the age of consent and the age of the girl in question.”
“And it was undoubtedly heartbreaking for the girl, who clearly thought she was in love with someone who didn’t simply hurt her, but rather turned out not to exist at all.”
“I also think you need to inform your mother. Your brother is 3 years away from adulthood. I think he needs some serious therapy if this is the attitude he’s expressing.” — EdieArbyIsntReal
Hopefully this will be a chance for OP’s younger brother to learn a very serious lesson about how to conduct himself in the future, and thankfully without any legal consequences.