‘Tis chilly season and most people are enjoying warm drinks and extra blankets.
A Redditor (who has since deleted their profile) opted for a less conventional way of staying warm.
His decision led him to a fight with his brother and a post on subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for sharing a bed with my brothers girlfriend ?”
He went on to say:
“I’m 18, my brothers girlfriend is 18 and my brother is 19 if it matters.”
“We were staying in a hotel for a few nights because we were on a trip. My brother stayed at his friends house for a bit and me and his gf when back to the hotel.”
“We were both trying to have a nap but she got In bed with me because it was really cold and she was cuddling up to me to keep warm (we didn’t have any extra blankets or anything.)”
“I woke up to my brother screaming at us both and saying how disgusting we are. We did explain to him that nothing happened but he was still really upset and angry.”
“They’re on the verge of breaking up and I feel really sh*tty about it.”
“I just wish my brother would understand that I don’t like her that way at allll and she doesn’t like me like that either she was just cold.”
“I’m worried that I’ve messed up my relationship with my brother and my friendship with his gf.”
“I feel like it’s kinda dumb though because if I was a girl he wouldn’t care? Like just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to f*ck every girl I interact with”
“My parents are pissed too and said they’re really ashamed of me. Am I the a**hole?”
The OP went on to post a couple of edits:
“edit: idk if it changes anything but I have known her before she knew my brother and our relationship has always been touchy in a platonic way though”
“The hotel did have extra blankets but they were the gross scratchy ones and it did have a thermostat I turned it up but I don’t know if it was working or not …”
“…because it was still kinda cold and there was two beds”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“Soft YTA”
“I say soft because I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you when you said nothing happened but…”
“seriously….you thought it was a good idea for you and your brother’s girlfriend to cuddle up in a shared bed?” – wanderingstorm
“Yeeehp, YTA. You only use a bed for sleeping or shagging, it doesn’t matter you were only doing the former, that’s way too intimate a place to be with your sibling’s SO.” – No-Personality-3344
“Sorry dude, but YTA. In bed, cuddling someone in a relationship is a d*ck move. You should’ve expected blowback from that.” – thedrunkensot
“YTA”
“You can not be that dumb.”
“Cold? This hotel has rooms with no heaters? No extra blankets? Was it Hotel California with voices down the corridor telling to cuddle bro’s girlfriend?”
“You could be innocent if you are a literally mechanical waterfall reasoning autistic otherwise you and the girl are sinners. Even if you had no flesh intentions; you maybe indulge in hers.”
“In the case you both are super clueless newborns (nothing impossible in the universe), do you realize what it looks like when looking from outside?”
“Today I feel nice and will bet on your honest mistake; learn from this incident, OP .” – ISD-444
“YTA.”
“Bro.”
“Just read back your post from a 3rd person, and you see how bad this looks.”
“On the upside, you saved your bro from a bad relationship. That girl is the real A.H.” – PaxUnDomus
“OP, obviously by now you know YTA here, not the only one, but one.”
“You should never share a bed with someone else’s partner unless all parties within those relationships are aware and consent or there will be fallout. Period.”
“BUT ALSO – Just wanting to point out that this girl likes you.”
“I’ve read among comments you’ve known her longer than your brother and that your relationship has always been ‘touchy’/physically interactive.”
“So why did he end up with with her, versus she being with you in the first place? You do not mention your own gf, so I assume you are single?”
“OP, what are/were your intentions with this girl? Have you ever talked about it with her?”
“I find it interesting that you considered her ‘being cold’ and ‘not wanting to borrow a hoodie’ high priority in your decision-making to chose to get in bed with her…”
“…and are now pretty much playing dumb with reality. It feels unreal that you wouldn’t know on some level this was a bad call you made, but you still made it.”
“Do you like the attention she gives you? Like, what’s going on here, really?”
“If your response to the intentions question above rings anything like ‘well I just never thought about her like that’…”
“…then I strongly recommend you use this as a learning opportunity to assess your interactions with women you consider friends. Just advice, good luck!”
“Edit: Phrasing for clarity about why she was/is with the brother.” – TheWolfMaid
“Info, did you also take all your clothes off to share body heat better during this snuggle to just get warm? /s”
“So you’re definitely the AH. So either you’re a really naive a**hole who got played by his brothers GF who had some f*ck on her mind, which I highly doubt.”
“Or you are just an a**hole for overstepping.”
“Other and better options: Ask reception to turn the thermostat up higher or for more blankets.”
“Or seeing as you were spending the night in a hotel, surely either of you brought extra clothes she could’ve put on” – High_Lizord
“The hotel room was booked for you and your brother’s GF, and he went to stay at a friend’s?”
“Then there’s ONE bed for the both of you, and it just happens to get super cold, so you ‘need’ to cuddle together for warmth, but then you totally didn’t do anything?”
“This is a D-list porn movie plot.”
“Either this never happened, or you f*cked your brother’s GF, and you’re lying about it to save face to strangers on the internet.”
“Glad to see the average Redditor has 0 critical thinking skills.” – Independent_Baker_80
“Sorry YTA. Relationships come with boundaries, and one of those generally is ‘you don’t end up in bed with other people.’”
“The gf is also an AH here, but you’re pretty complicit in this situation.” – BarNo3385
“YTA (and so is she), and what a crappy excuse, just say that you guys want to have sex already.”
“‘I’m too cold so only solution is to cuddle up’ Nope, you’re in a hotel they usually have a thermostat you can adjust, and if that fails you can ask for extra blankets.” – PlateNo7021
“I’m gonna go ahead and stick my neck out and say NTA.”
“People way over-sexualize the act of sleeping next to another human being.”
“Which is wild because in the developing world to this day, and in the United States until the middle of the last century or so…”
“…unrelated people sharing a bed in a motel while traveling wasn’t at all uncommon.”
“You’re traveling with your brother and your friend who is dating your brother. Neither of you have sexual intentions with eachother. You take a nap with your friend.”
”Everybody else in the situation is mad at you – ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THERE WAS SOME SEXUAL INTENT THERE -“
“everybody else trying to sexualize your friendship is gross.” – Savager_Jam
“Mostly NTA”
“I admit, if I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with someone we both knew, I’d probably be upset. But relationships are fundamentally built on trust.”
“If she tells me there’s nothing going on, I can either trust her to be telling the truth, or walk away.”
“Plus, these are all kids. All of their responses are valid. They need to learn how to deal with their relationships being challenged.”
“The parents are the real a**holes if anyone. Trust your kids well enough to talk with them before leaping to judgment.” – BronadoBobby729
“YTA, but she is more so. What would make her think that was appropriate? The lack of awareness from both of you is astounding.”
“Imagine coming into a room and seeing your girlfriend in bed with your brother! What would you think? There are always options in situations like these, and she chose the worst one.”
“Your lack of awareness to the inappropriateness of the situation cannot be tolerated” – No-Communication9979
“You’re either being willfully obtuse, are actually nine years old, or are maybe on the spectrum and genuinely missed how obviously not okay this is…”
“…YTA if the first two, please get tested if the latter because this is gonna keep biting you in the a** in life. Trust me, I know.” – Schrodingers_Dude
Some boundaries shouldn’t have to be stated.
What do you think, reader? Is this cool or would you have gotten heated?