As an older teen, the sudden arrival of a newly born sibling can definitely bring some upheaval.
Sure, babies are cute and all, but it’s a major adjustment to live among an infant and the parents tasked with dedicating attention and energy to that infant.
But a recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit outlined how, at least in one family, a whole additional layer of difficulty can arise with the birth of a new child.
The Original Poster (OP), using the anonymous RosieRoThrowaway username, explained the particular area of difficulty right in the post’s title.
“AITA for not wanting my sister to be named like me?”
OP began by explaining her own upbringing.
“Didn’t want this on my main. I’m honestly really confused about if i’m being an a**hole or not.”
“I [18-year-old female] have never had a close relationship with my dad.”
“My parents didn’t want to have children but a mistake happened, i do have his last name but he was never present in my life until last year and i’m currently staying with him.”
Recently, a couple new, huge developments occurred.
“My dad has a new wife and i met her last year, we don’t really like each other.”
“Now she is pregnant, the baby will be born in June around my birthday.”
Then OP got right into the issue at hand.
“My name is Roseanne and as i said, i have my dad’s surname.”
“My dad is super excited about this baby which i guess is good but him and his wife want to name the baby Roseanne since her favourite flowers are roses.”
“I don’t like the idea at all. It will be my exact name and surname.”
But her parents were standing firm.
“I usually go by Ro or Rosie but i still dislike the name idea. I suggested other similar names, the most obvious being Rose but they don’t like anything at all.
“My step mom says that i’m being selfish because i’m ‘jealous’ of my dad wanting this baby.”
“My dad is upset at me and says i should be mature and not gatekeep a name.”
“I honestly don’t know who is in the right in here. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors immediately threw their support behind OP. And it didn’t take much analysis for them to conclude what they felt was going on here.
“NTA. And this is a huge red flag about what’s your standing in your dad’s view. This naming highly suggests he’s seeing the baby as his chance to correct the mistakes he made with you. She’s to be your replacement.”
“I honestly think you should start preparing to move out and be independent” — Arrasor
“NTA. Low-key sounds like the stepmom wants to replace you lol.”
“Your dad would have two daughters named ‘Roseanne Smith’ and that’s pretty fu**ing weird. Even if you have different middle names. It would be less weird if it was a cousin. But it’s your half-sister.”
“There’s a billion other names. They can find another one. Give the baby the middle name of Rose or something instead.” — Tvoja
“NTA. This sounds like a do over baby thing. I think your stepmother wants to have a Roseanne that your father wants, and not you. As a way to be very petty and cruel. I think it’s fu**ed up.” — Quicksilver1964
Others advised that she read the writing on the wall and do what was clearly necessary.
“NTA Tell them that you give your full support to them using the name, then go change your surname and never speak to them again.” — SoSayWeAlix
“Really, the best suggestion I’ve seen is to tell your dad you are on board with him giving your exact name and surname to his new child, but that a consequence will be that you are changing your name and cutting contact.”
“Honestly, how could this guy think it would come across as anything else than replacing you? NTA” — toscawithak
“NTA – personally I’d feel replaced and would let them do so, your dad sounds like he’s putting his new wife over you which is stupid considering you’re his child…”
“…I’d make it clear that if this decision is final then your relationship with him is now finalised and no more, clearly he doesn’t consider your feelings at all in any of this” — Resident-Embarrassed
NTA, and get out of there. This is borderline nuts. It really sounds like your step mom is trying to “redo” your childhood with her as the mother. Tell your dad that if he names her Roseanne, then he WILL only have one daughter named Roseanne and she will be an infant.”
“And you can live your life as an amazing fatherless Roseanne without him around to try and bring you down or replace you, because you deserve so much better than that.” — xxopalhippiexx
Some people turned their thoughts to the practical issues that could come about.
“NTA. That’s so bad for you and the baby. Wtf is gonna happen if either of you has some issues later in life? The other could be greatly impacted by a bad credit score, arrest warrant, even if you are married and then your sister wants to get married later it could be an issue.”
“They’d probably even have issues with issuing government documents properly. The ONLY important differences on birth certificates would basically be mother and birth date. There are so many other variations of Rose, Rosemary, Rosie, Rosetta, Rosalie, Rosalyn, Primrose, etc.”
“And if she’s so stuck on it why not a middle name? Identical naming will only lead to annoyance and hardships for BOTH of you and likely them as well and it’s nuts they’re blaming you for being concerned.” — xeyexofxautumnx
“NTA please don’t do this. I work in a court house. Even with the different date of births… once that kid is 16 every single speeding ticket or worse is going to get pulled up with your name. You would have to explain to every single employer that you’ve got a double sister. It sucks.”
“I hate Jr’s and thirds for the same reason. Not to mention the paranoid reason which is your sister just has to say the wrong dob or address and an officer that is rushing and not noticing she is 18 years younger for her to try and pass any ticket off as you anyway.” — notevenwitty
And a few even proposed creative solutions.
“NTA- play the long game. Have the same name. Cut contact with dad, live your life and be happy. Wait until he dies and then contest the will.”
“If he leaves anything to Roseanne Smith they will have no way of proving which one of you it was intended for. A DNA test will show your both his daughters entitling you to half of her estate and passing off your step mom.” — Befub14435
“NTA. They obviously suck. I see a lot of people saying change your name. Yeah ok. But also… you can call her mini-me. Or rosie2.0. Or duplicate. You are the OG she is the copy. Any number of things you could say to them now to make them see what tools they are.”
“It’s a bit mean to a kid but don’t necessarily say it to the kid say it to them. Or be like omg you love me so much you are naming your second daughter after me cus you want her to be just like me I’ll teach her everything I know. There are options to mess with them here” — Glittering-War-5748
“NTA. But I think you’re approaching this from the wrong direction.”
“Sit your father and his wife down and tell them you’ve thought about it and you’re really honoured that they love you so much they want to name their daughter after you. You recognise now how important you are in both of their lives and you can’t wait to have a ‘mini you/namesake’ that you can teach all about how to be ‘Roseanne last name.’ “
“I give it a week before the wife finds another name that she just ‘fell in love with’ and has to name her daughter.” — inessathedruid
As it so often goes with posts on Reddit, we’ll likely never know exactly how this one shook out.
After all, the Redditors on the thread offered a rather wide variety of proposed responses.