Every coming of age movie has showed us that parents tend to impose their dreams and goals into their kids.
But, at some point kids need to stand up for themselves and follow their own path. At this point I’m just leaning into the cliche.
Redditor No_Grand_4260 encountered this very issue with his dad. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“WIBTA for throwing every wrestling match I am forced to attend?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (15M) school has recently restarted all of the sport programs after almost a year of no/limited activity.”
“Before that I was part of the swim team, one of the smaller groups at our school. I love swimming and it really sucked that we couldn’t go for such a long time.”
“With the restart, the school also made a new system.”
“Every student writes down 3 different after-school activities in order of interest (so 1. choice is your favorite, 2. your second favorite and so on).”
“The teachers in charge of the groups then pick the students. First pick is students who already belonged to the groups before look down, second pick is then random and third pick is if there are still places left open in the group.”
OP was part of other teams before.
“Since I was part of the swim team before and put it down as my first choice I would basically be guaranteed to get in. But now the results are out and I was placed in wrestling!”
“I never even put that on my list at all, so I went to the teacher and asked whats going on. Turns out the teacher in charge of wrestling specifically requested me for whatever reason…”
“Turns out my dad knows the wrestling teacher quite well and asked for me to be placed on the team.”
“I know my dad hates that I prefer swimming, he always says it’s not a real sport and that I should do some sport that actually gives me muscles.”
“He constantly tells me I’m too skinny for a guy and has made several attempts to make me go to the gym to work out.”
“I asked the teachers if I can still switch teams but they say no. I also can not just avoid the wrestling club because after school activities are mandatory.”
OP got into an argument with his dad.
“So, last night I had a huge fight with my dad, I called him an ass for forcing me to go to wrestling and that I will just forfeit every single match I have to attend.”
“He threatened me, saying if I do that he will take away all my electronics and I will only be allowed to leave the house for school and nothing else.”
“My mom says I should have the right to choose whatever sport I want, but now that I’m on the wrestling team I should still do my best. Also not to call my dad an ass…”
“But I don’t want to participate in something I have zero interest in, was forced into even! Also I was really looking forward to swimming again and meeting my team mates…”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Complain to your principal! This backroom deal between your father and the wrestling coach doesn’t sound fair (to you or anyone else who trusted the voting system). Fight this placement! You deserve swim team! NTA” ~ ParsimoniousSalad
“Hi wrestler here. While I don’t recommend ‘throwing the match’ as it can be dangerous if not done in a safe manner and you don’t know your opponent. I do recommend refusing to get on the mat.”
“What are they going to do, carry you? Also, email the principal, wrestling coach and the swim team coach. Point out the back door deal in this email, and then state that you are politely refusing to participate in any sport other than swim as you were apart of the team and that was you #1 so that should be priority.” ~ Ellamation
OP added some edits.
“EDIT: Thanks so far for the support. Next week I will talk to more teachers, guidance teacher and also write to the principal.”
“Guess I will also try to talk with my mom again and maybe convince her (also will mention what some people wrote that wrestling could potentially dangerous maybe that will convince her). Worst case I will go through with it and just put in zero effort, if no one listens to me.”
“EDIT2: So this has gotten a lot more responses than I thought. First of all, thanks to everyone supporting me.”
“I talked to my mom again, without my dad nearby. She still thinks I should give wrestling a try but if I really want to change she will support me. So next week I will go and talk first to my swim coach and the wrestling coach and hopefully get it resolved, otherwise I will go further to the principal.”
“I can post an update next week and tell you guys how things worked out.”
“Some of you suggested I should go to the newspaper or something, but I really do not feel comfortable blowing things up like that. Slandering the school is gonna backfire like 100%.”
“I have also gotten a lot of creative things instead of just throwing the match. I do would like to show my face in public sometime so no, I will ignore most of the really weird suggestions. Thanks I guess?”
“I also got a few question about the rule of afternoon activities being mandatory.”
“So we have to do activities for 2 years total but we are free to choose when we do them during high school. We can choose between a lot of club activities offered by the school not just sports but all kind of activities (music, art, reading / writing clubs, gardening or even game design).”
“School club activities are always free and if you require financial assistant for like an instrument or so, I think you can also get financial aid. But I don’t really know the details. Additionally, if we attend a club or regular activity outside of school we can also get credits for that, just need work it out with the teachers.”
“We also don’t get grades or something, it is just noted on our final report. I also do not really know what happens if you don’t complete them.”
OP did the right thing by standing up for himself, but needs to make sure he does so in a safe manner.