Redditor Called Out For Offering Uninvited Dinner Guest A Frozen Dinner While Everyone Else Had Steak And Lobster

The menu planning for dinner parties can take a lot of work.

Usually, there is great detail and forethought put into it.

That's why surprise extra people can throw the whole evening off.

Redditor OhGloriousName wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

""AITA for offering a frozen dinner to an uninvited guest at a dinner party?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"A couple of times a year, I like to throw a nice dinner party for old friends."

"This time I invited 5 people."

"2 were couples, and one was single."

"We have all known each other for around 15 years and get together maybe every 3 months."

"I was making filet mignon and a small lobster tail with 2 sides."

"I spent over $300 and didn't buy extras because they are served one each per guest and are expensive."

"To my surprise to me, the single guest brought along his new G[irl]F[riend], whom I had not met or known about."

"I was nice about it, but upset because I only purchased enough meat and lobster tail for the guests who were invited."

"I talked to the friend who brought the uninvited guest and said that I didn't have extra food, and the filet mignon (cooked to individual doneness) and lobster tail aren't something that can be cut up and divided or spread out between more people, and said that I had frozen pizza or another frozen dinner I could heat up."

"He was very upset with me and accused me of not liking his new girlfriend and trying to embarrass them."

"After his outburst, they left."

"Was I wrong?"

"Should I have cut up the filet and lobster tails and spread them out between an extra person instead of offering a frozen meal?"

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Her
• INFO - More Information Needed

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.

"NTA, obviously, you were being as gracious a host as can be, and your friend was being selfish and dumb."

"I bet his new G[irl]F[riend] was not exactly impressed with his behavior." ~ fatlilplums

"NTA. Who the hell brings an extra person to a dinner party without notifying the host beforehand?" ~ zeka81

"A gentleman would have eaten a frozen meal and let his uninvited guest have his meal."

"NTA... for you, but B[oy]Friend] looks bad." ~ hungry_bra1n

"I’ve had this situation happen many times."

"I’m dating someone, and they invite me to a dinner, party, or event."

"The issue is it’s for the selected people invited, and when I showed up, it’s completely awkward and weird feeling."

"You feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, but there’s not much you can do but sit there and try to not to 'take up space.'"

"Some people are gracious about it, but most I encountered were not, and I can understand."

"But that made me look at the person I'm dating differently."

"It was always, 'no, it’s okay, my friends know you’re coming and they’ll love you!'"

"And then I get there and it turns out my date just assumed their friend would be okay with this and did not give them the respect of asking."

"So now they are mad at their friend and now mad at me simply because I’m there."

"Then we awkwardly leave."

"It’s terrible." ~ Illegalrealm

"A filet mignon and a lobster tail don't really split appealingly."

"OP should not have to go to the effort and expense of making a high-end meal, utilizing a skill they're obviously proud of, only to have the results ruined by having to serve everyone with their food looking like a bite was cut out of everything before it got to the table, and one plate holding a pile of cut-off bits."

"I suppose the guy could have offered to split his own plate with his girlfriend, but that's not really a substantial amount of food for two people, and he didn't make that offer. He just demanded OP magically have extra food at the last minute and then acted personally attacked when that was not possible." ~ KJbirb

"He could have easily split his meal with her."

"Either offering her his lobster tail or his filet mignon and splitting the sides in half with her."

"He just wanted to cause issues. NTA." ~ lalapocalypse

"ESH. Your (now former) friend should have let you know he'd be bringing his new partner."

"Showing up to a dinner party with an unexpected extra guest isn't good form, particularly if you know the hosts aren't the 'always make extra' type."

"After 15 years of knowing each other, he's got to know that's not how you do things."

"He absolutely should've given you a heads-up."

"You are TA for picking a solution that singled her out and made you look bad."

"There were options - albeit not great options."

"I totally understand not wanting to deal with a whole new lobster situation at the last minute, but I cannot fathom why you couldn't simply slice up the steak to spread between all the guests."

"You could've then pointed out that you hadn't expected an extra guest and suggested she get the lobster tail instead of him."

"It would make her welcome while putting him in his place." ~ Narwen189

"NTA. Your friend should have given you a heads-up that he wanted to bring his girlfriend to the dinner."

"That was rude of him to spring it up on you like that." ~ Traditional-Head2653

"NTA. It sounds like you went to significant time and expense to host this dinner for five people."

"The least that your friend who brought the GF could have done would have been to give you a heads up that he wanted to bring another guest."

"Even better had he asked if it would be OK with you."

"The AH is your friend."

"If he had any class, he would have accepted a substitute meal that you offered and given his meal to the GF. "

"The concept that you don't like the GF is a little odd since you had, apparently, never met her."

"The source of any embarrassment was him." ~ sjclynn

"NTA, he should've apologized profusely for not letting you know in advance, and offered to have the microwave meal himself, and given the filet and lobster to his girlfriend."

"What an entitled as*."

"I wouldn't invite him again until he sincerely apologizes." ~ Nesseveraf

"Those complaining about what 'etiquette says' can all give their food to the uninvited guest and sit and be hungry but satiated with the hope that long-dead people who cared about a rude guest's feelings over this situation were pleased with their choice."

"The rest of us are giving them an extra plate and extra sides if you have them, and eating their own meal."

"If the rude friend is offended by that, then he's not really a friend."

"And OP didn't seem to be hosting a society dinner party to impress Emily Post."

"It was a get-together amongst friends, and friends know better than to bring uninvited guests." ~ wiggum_x

"NTA, that is a jerk move to bring a surprise guest to an intimate dinner party."

"The only other thing you could have offered was for him to split his dinner with her, I guess, but you offered pretty much what you had available."

"What did he expect you to do?"

"Give her YOUR meal??"

"Uh-uh, not happening." ~ Spiritual-Estate2848

"NTA. literally not pasta, you can't just add another plate."

"So stupid."

"If he was that offended, he should have been a man and given his date his plate and shared with her, or eaten the frozen food."

"To not understand the basics of you not buying more for an unknown reason, for any reason that you're not with some restaurant, he's a stupid person."

"And better off just not being friends with someone like that." ~ Powerful_Company_682

"NTA. I wouldn't bring an uninvited guest in the first place, but if I had, obviously, the answer is to split my steak and lobster with my companion."

"They could also have some of the sides (I'm assuming those aren't as single-serving specific as the steak and lobster)."

"Same thing for dessert." ~ stroppo

"NTA, this has happened to me in the past."

"I personally just didn't eat and used the excuse that I was having snacks while I was cooking, and was not hungry."

"It was a lie."

"However, when everything was done, and we parted ways, I had my wife clean up."

"I went to my favorite Mexican place and got a wet burrito with atomic sauce and tacos."

"Best consolation at the time." ~ Imaginary-Ogre

"NTA. Who would think it’s ok to invite an additional person without asking the host first?"

"The AH, that’s who."

"If I were his girlfriend and my new boyfriend did that, I’d block them and move on."

"That guy embarrassed himself and his new girlfriend."

"I would not include him again." ~ After_Reflection_243

"Serving a frozen pizza or dinner would have been embarrassing for the guest who had no idea she was being put in this position."

"I would have asked him to give his guest the lobster or the steak, and he could eat the other." ~ No_Woodpecker9514

OP came back to chat...

"I didn't think of them splitting their plates at the time."

"I have A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity]-D[isorder], so I have some issues with changes in plans and multitasking."

"Anyway, another friend messaged tonight that the friend who brought the uninvited girlfriend had been arguing with her before the dinner, so that is part of the reason he was upset and quick to leave."

Reddit is with you, OP.

Your friend was out of line.

He should have given a heads-up that he was bringing someone.

Enjoy your future parties.