Food allergies very difficult and very serious situation to navigate.
So, how are people supposed to mingle in public?
Is every human responsible for every other person’s private issues?
Case in point…
Redditor Ill_Historian_3498 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for eating peanuts at a baseball game next to a kid with allergies?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Looking back, I may be the AH, but I came back to my seat after purchasing peanuts to eat at a baseball game, and the person next to me (I don’t know them) tells me I can’t eat the peanuts near her son because he’s allergic.”
“I said, you’re at a baseball game, there’s shells everywhere and it’s not like I’m not going to put them in his mouth.”
“She was adamant that I was a bad person for even considering eating them, and she said her son is allowed to attend baseball games just like everyone else.”
“I told her she was annoying and that she should expect peanuts and peanut products while at a sporting event.”
“However, it was a kid so I went to the standing room only to eat them and stayed there for the rest of the game… too annoyed to go back.”
“In hindsight, I feel like I may be the AH because I don’t have allergies… so I don’t know what it’s like.
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Some peanut allergies can be triggered without eating peanuts and just coming in contact through skin, air, etc.”
“That said the parent of this child with the allergy should know how to handle a public event where peanuts are consumed.”
“It’s not on you to go the extra mile for her child.”
“It should have been her job to do what was necessary to keep him safe and not expect every stranger surrounding him to cater to them.”
“She could have removed her child to another area, but she chose to be a witch to you. NTA.” ~ many_hobbies_gal
“Light… bulb!!! I knew peanuts were legumes, but never put it together before that ‘pea’ is the operative word in the name.”
“Wow, learn something new every day!”
“Also appreciate finding out about the difference between airborne and non-airborne exposure potential.”
“OP – NTA.”
“Kid’s mom needed a reality check that it’s her job to not put her kid in unsafe environments/circumstances.” ~ alh030705
“If you eat peanuts in the shell and throw them on the ground, the person next to you is probably going to be exposed to peanuts.”
“If I were the mom, I’d have offered to buy you another snack if you wouldn’t mind waiting to eat the peanuts later.”
“And I’d have been asking, not telling, obviously.” ~ Curiousr_n_Curiouser
“That was my thought.”
“You can *ask* a stranger if they mind waiting to eat their peanuts or offer to buy them another snack or whatever.”
“It’s a reasonable request, but it’s also reasonable for the person to say no.”
“And then it’s on the parent to take their child away from it or whatever.”
“I get migraines that get triggered sometimes by certain smells.”
“I can ask someone to not eat that particular food in a shared space or not smoke near me or whatever.”
“But they’re also entitled to say no.”
“And then guess what, it’s on me to move or do what I need to do to avoid it.” ~ aeroluv327
“Yeah, shouldn’t it be the mom’s responsibility to keep the allergen away from her child and not the other way around?”
“People are going to eat nuts at a game.”
“Did she stop all the other people from eating nuts?”
“Maybe she should have made an announcement that no nuts would be sold or consumed at the game to protect her child.”
“I mean, c’mon.” ~ fe3o2y
“It’s very unlikely to cause anaphylaxis, hives at the most.”
“But if my child had a severe peanut allergy, I’m not sure how comfortable I would be with unlikely.”
“I remember a patient where I worked who ended up with severe brain damage after an allergic reaction to seafood that someone else was eating when she never had a prior reaction.”
“It was bizarre and unlikely, but it did happen.”
“If a parent is concerned about an unlikely but not impossible reaction that might permanently harm their child, I can’t really fault them.
“That said, as understandable as the concern might be, I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the general public to cater to that concern.” ~ Pixichixi
“Eh, I work with small children, and we’ve had multiple cases where a kid has had a reaction because someone else ate peanut butter toast for breakfast before arriving and had some under a fingernail.”
“They touched a toy, allergic kid touched the toy later, and boom. Anaphylaxis.”
“Some kids really are incredibly allergic, like particulate level allergic.”
“It’s much worse than it used to be.”
“When I was growing up, peanut allergies were relatively rare, and people mostly had to eat peanuts.”
“It’s not like that anymore.”
“That being said, you kind of have to prepare if you intentionally go to a peanut-heavy place.”
“You can’t expect everyone else to accommodate you.”
“It would have been better to ask nicely than tell you that you can’t eat them.” ~ MrLizardBusiness
“Soooo I also felt that way.”
“I have a kid with a peanut allergy.”
“I would tell people as long as he didn’t eat it or bathe in it, we were good.”
Until he sat across from a friend at lunch eating a Peanut Butter sandwich who was chewing with his mouth open and talking with his hands.”
“At school. We ended up in the ER that day for the first time due to his peanut allergy.”
“Benadryl wasn’t cutting it, and he had huge hives/welts for the first time in his life at age 12.”
“I’ve never seen nurses in an ER move so fast.”
“We’re a lot more careful now.”
“I also don’t take him to baseball games unless there is a peanut-free section.”
“He’s 16, and we talked about how he can’t apply for jobs at certain places like ice cream shops or Thai restaurants because of the peanut exposure.”
“He carries an Epi-pen and Benadryl on him 24/7.” ~ Kit_starshadow
“YES. I have severe allergies, but it isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to protect me from allergens… it’s mine.”
“The mom could have politely asked if you could keep the peanuts away from her child, but she chose to get all confrontational instead.”
“Sadly, some parents try to get attention by using their kids’ medical conditions.”
“Like Munchausen by proxy, except the medical condition is real.” ~ Joey_JoJo_Jr_1
“NTA. You didn’t know.”
“It’s a baseball stadium.”
“‘Take me out to the Ballgame’ was written in 1908.”
“Peanuts have been associated with baseball in the cultural consciousness for over a century.”
“She could have moved herself, or she could have at least offered to reimburse you for the peanuts.”
“But she just demanded you get rid of them. Nope. She is annoying.” ~ PinkNGreenFluoride
“This right here. She should have paid OP to get rid of them or eat them later.”
“’I’ll buy you two beers and a hot dog if you can just hold off…'” ~ Spicy_Traveler94
“NTA. If someone has an allergy, it’s on them (or their parents) to handle it and avoid situations that could trigger it.”
“She could have politely asked you to make sure you put the shells away from them or asked you to finish them while she took her kid to go get food while she knew you were eating.”
“As long as you weren’t trying to get his allergy to kick in, that’s on her.”
“I hate hate hate hate that line ‘My son is allowed to attend a baseball game just like everyone else.'”
“That’s not a right written into the constitution.”
“If you can’t be somewhere without insisting others follow your specific rules you just don’t get to go to that thing.”
“I love baseball. If I had a peanut allergy, I would get seats way up top, where it’s more likely I could have a lot of space away from other fans.”
“It’s the same as that popular AITA trope of ‘My friend/relative is a recovering alcoholic.'”
“‘They want me to have a dry wedding/birthday/BBQ so they can attend.'”
“‘The rest of my guests enjoy alcohol responsibly, but this one person insists everyone else suffer for their problem so they aren’t triggered.’ If you can’t be around alcohol, then guess what?”
“You don’t get to go to the party.” ~ MizZo2
“I am pregnant for the first time and, as such, have started to pay closer attention to mommy culture.”
“For some reason, there is a subculture of women who feel entitled to be a complete and raging a-hole to others in the name of being a good mother.”
“People will give them a pass or even go so far as to agree with their extreme actions because Motherhood seems to be some sort of holy untouchable status.”
“There were so many other ways to handle OP’s situation in a way that would be considerate, respectful, and kind.”
“Instead, she chose to be entitled and rude.”
“What an idiotic example to set for your kid.” ~ blepmlepflepblep
OP returned to chat…
“This was the trigger for me.”
“I’m just trying to sit here and enjoy the game with my kids when I’m being shamed for eating peanuts right off the bat.”
“I responded, ‘This is a baseball game?!'”
“Had she asked nicely or even informed me when we sat down this was an issue, I would have (as a parent) obliged for the child (around 10).”
“It was the audacity to shame me.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you. You were just trying to have a nice time.
There were many ways this Mom could have resolved this issue without shaming you about your understandable snack choice, given the venue.