Difficult as it can be, particularly in today’s rather trying times, people can happily co-exist despite fundamental differences.
Even in the same household.
Even though a massive difference in religion, political beliefs, diet or taste in movies and TV shows will undoubtebly cause problems from time to time, love and respect can put these differences aside.
Most of the time.
The wife of Redditor Top_Sense6636 recently made a significant change to her diet, resulting in some tension regarding what the OP left in their refrigerator.
As a result, the original poster (OP)’s wife convinced him to get a refrigerator of his own, so they could each happily store their own food.
Unfortunately, the OP’s doing so only made his wife even more angry at him.
Wondering if he had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
The OP explained how his purchasing a fridge of his own ended up only causing further tension between him and his wife:
“My wife is vegan.”
“She hadn’t been vegan the entire time we’ve been together, she became a vegan relatively recently.”
“At first, it wasn’t really an issue.”
“I would do my thing, she would do hers.”
“But as time has gone on, she has taken more and more issue with my foodstuffs in the fridge.”
“She knows that converting me to veganism isn’t an option or something I would consider.”
“One day, after another comment about my stuff, I got relatively annoyed and sarcastically asked something along the lines of ‘what do you want me to do? Get another fridge,’ and she said she would, in fact, want me to do that.”
“I was hesitant at first because it just sounded ridiculous to me, but my wife pounced on the idea.”
“Eventually, I caved, figuring that I bought it up (however sarcastically), and she called my bluff.”
“I agreed to cut back on my stuff in the fridge while I was in the process of getting a new one.”
“But I set up both a fridge and a freezer in the garage.”
“Anyways, since I had a bunch of extra fridge space, I’ve probably been eating a ton more meat.”
“I’d buy in bulk and freeze to save money instead of saving more space.”
“My wife says I took advantage of her veganism and weaponized it against her.”
“But I figured if I have all this stuff that I got to accommodate her, I may as well use it.”
“So am I TA here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for filling his personal freezer with extra meat.
Everyone agreed that the OP was in no way weaponizing her diet against his wife, and if anyone was doing so, it was her, feeling she essentially put the OP in a no-win situation.
“NTA.”
“How are you ‘weaponizing’ her veganism against her?”
“By eating more meat?”
“That’s for you to choose, just as veganism was her choice.”
“That urging you to get your own fridge meant you had more space for meat was a consequence I’m sure she didn’t intend, but that’s no fault of yours.”
“A second fridge is a bit ridiculous, IMO, but she was all for it so she has little room to complain.”
“It sounds sadly like she is or is becoming the kind of vegan who’s going to try to police other people’s food, so good luck.”- Icy_Blueness1206
“You did not ‘weaponize veganism’ against her.”
“She used her veganism to push your food out of the house fridge, and now that you have your own, she cannot dictate to you anymore.”
“She is the one who tried using her veganism against you.”
“NTA.”
“She can enjoy her veggies, and you can enjoy your meat.”
“And I bet her next step will be telling you that you cannot ‘cook’ your meat in the house.”-mynameisnotsparta
“NTA.”
“She likely expected that you would get a mini-fridge that doesn’t have a lot of space, and so you would ‘naturally’ start transitioning to her way of eating because eating meat and having a small fridge would be too much of a hassle.”
“She tried to weaponize the fridge demand, but it backfired because you’re able to buy in bulk now without having to worry about her stuff taking up space for meat and meat products.”-Munchkins_nDragons
“NTA but you can’t win.”
“She’s committed to creating drama where none exists.”
“This is a ‘her’ problem.”
“It’s not on you.”
“It sounds like a visit to a couple counselor may help, for you both to hear from an unbiased third party.”- The_Bad_Agent
“NTA.”
“You’re not telling her to change how she eats, but she gets to tell you how you should eat?”
“Or dictate how much of something you eat?”
“Nope, doesn’t work like that.”
“You did what she asked; she doesn’t get to complain now that it’s not working in her favor.”- litt3lli0n
“NTA.”
“What in the victim complex is ‘weaponizing veganism’?”
“Does one weaponize electric cars?”
“Weaponizing wearing cruelty-free makeup?”
“Lmao.”- pinkvictimxxx
“NTA.”
“Your wife is going to die on this hill, even if it means taking your marriage with her.”- Venetrix2
“NTA.”
“She got what she wanted and is finding new issues to create.”
“Also, there was nothing wrong with sharing a fridge with a vegan.”
“My boyfriend is vegan, and I’m not, and we’ve shared a fridge for years.”- BulbasaurRanch
“NTA!”
“Buying in bulk and freezing can save you a lot of money; what you are doing is making good financial decisions.”
“Your wife probably has an agenda to get you over to eating more like her, and when you bulk buy that makes it a lot harder for her because you don’t run out of meat.”- Huff-da
“NTA.”
“This was guaranteed to be some passive attempt at converting you, and now that you called HER bluff and got the new fridge, SHES the victim.”
“Time to suggest counseling.”- devsfan1830
“NTA.”
“Your wife probably assumed that you would not spend the extra money on a duplicate refrigerator and freezer.”
“She also probably thought that if she nagged you enough, you would see the light!”
“Soon, your wife will start saying you cannot use the same stove, cookware, utensils, etc, that she does, and you need your own kitchen.”
“Maybe then you will see the light right out the door.”- Stormy19611111
“NTA.”
“She complained about your food in the fridge, Both ‘agreed’ to getting a separate fridge/freezer and now you’re unapologetically using it.”
“Seems like the only reasonable option to this.”- SeaworthinessKooky50
“NTA and I hope I get the chance to use the phrase ‘weaponized veganism’ sometime.”-TemptingPenguin369
“NTA.”
“She said, ‘Get your own’.”
“You did, and now you can stock and eat whatever you want.”
“She can keep her comments to herself.”
“Your diet is your business.”- Justheretoread2085
“NTA.”
“You got a new fridge to respect that she doesn’t want meat by her food, and she’s still complaining about it?”
“Ugh.”
“There’s a reason why there are so many vegan jokes.”- JDubbs8989
“NTA.”
“You should get a smoker; I heard those are good.”- LocalVoiceless
“NTA and your wife sounds like a huge one.”
“You accommodated her views and feelings in a great way, not to mention heading to the garage every time you need to get food.”
“I can’t imagine asking someone to use a different fridge because I suddenly decided not to eat a certain food.”
“But super kind of you to do so.”
“Sounds more like she wants to find a reason to badger you into caving to her lifestyle choices.”-NoEstablishment6450
“NTA.”
“She asked for a special provision for her dietary requirements.”
“You complied at the cost of having to go outside every time you want to eat.”
“She’s a little naive (stupid even) considering the cost differentials of bulk buying meat not to forsee you’d make good use of it.”
“You didn’t weaponize her veganism against her.”
“You respected her choice that she would feel better if you had your own food storage areas, but you are not vegan.”
“I suspect this has not ran its course.”- Timely_Egg_6827
“She played FAFO and lost.”
“NTA.”
“Maybe she ‘assumed’ you’d get a mini-fridge.”
“But she really has nothing to complain about.”
“You – sarcastically – asked her if she wanted you to buy a fridge for yourself, never dreaming she’d jump on it.”
“She jumped on it, and says she DOES want you to get a new fridge.”
“You DO get a new fridge (and freezer).”
“She’s upset.”
”’Honey, why are you upset? I just did what you wanted me to do’.”- Effective-Several
It seems like the OP’s wife didn’t so much have a problem with her husband storing meat in their refrigerator, but rather his eating meat in general.
As it’s hard to understand why she has as big a problem as she does by his doing exactly what she told him to do.
While it’s probably a good thing in the long run that the OP bought himself a second fridge, this is a problem that will likely only be solved with a deeper conversation.