Vegetarians frequently find that non-vegetarians don’t exactly understand what constitutes vegetarian food. A woman on Reddit found herself in this situation with her mother-in-law, who cooked her soup using beef broth–a vegetarian no-go.
Since her boyfriend became angry when she refused to eat the soup, she wasn’t sure about how she’d handled things. So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by chenille666 on the site, asked:
“AITA for refusing to eat my MIL’s lunch”
She explained:
“Hi! I legitimatly love my MIL and she sees me as he daughter.”
“I became vegetarian a few weeks ago (ie. I don’t eat meat, including beef broth or chicken broth). I was with my boyfriend at my MIL’s house. She made some chicken sandwiches for my boyfriend. She told me ‘But don’t sorry, you and I will be eating vegetarian! I’ll make us some chickpeas mixed with xyz’ (she’s absolutely wonderful)”
“I was so happy and grateful that she was willing to accomodate me, especially since I had brought my own vegetarian soup (as to not be a burden)”
“She prepared the food (It took about 20 minutes max) and when it was ready I realized there was broth. I asked if it was beef broth, and she said yes. So I was mortified (EDIT: not a native speaker…. I really meant ’embarrassed’). …”
“I told her I can’t eat beef broth as a vegetarian. She apologized, so I told her not to apologize because it’s a mistake everyone makes… I told her I was so sorry she spent some time cooking for me. In the end all was well and I ate the soup I brought, while she ate the food she cooked.”
“During the afternoon I went to the gas station right next to her house, and bought several packs of vegetable broth.(Edit: because I didn’t want her to spend money on buying broth for me. Also it’s the normal Knorr brand I use)”
“I gave them to her saying I was sorry for the misunderstanding earlier, and that this broth she could use if she ever wanted to cook for me. But that I would always bring my own meals because I don’t want to be a burden on the family”
“When we got home tonight, my boyfriend was furious. He told me I was selfish to refuse the food when my MIL had wanted to accomodate me. He told me I was an ‘extremist’, and that beef broth is nothing. I explained it was a matter of principle. But he’s absolutely pissed.”
“I didn’t want to ask this question on a vegetarian subreddit because I want objective answers. Do you think I’m the a**hole for refusing the broth? Thanks a much 💙”
OP then came back to her post later to add a bit more context.
“EDIT: I texted her to apologize again and ask if I broke her feelings, and she replied Of course not, it was nothing Also she told me she used the vegetable broth to cook her rice tonight haha !!!💙💙💙💙 so cute”
Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And for the most part, they were on OP’s side
“NTA. In a very unusual turn for this subreddit, your MIL sounds genuinely lovely. Your boyfriend, not so much.” –ArcanTemival
“Yeaaaah, your BF sounds like a piece of work, but omg, a MIL that is genuinely sweet and amazing. I thought I’d never see a post like this.” –Sad-Raise-754
“NTA. As a vegetarian myself, you have done literally everything to help others understand your situation. Your boyfriend is delusional and clearly doesn’t respect your diet choices. You literally offered to bring your own food starting from next time and your MIL took it so well I’m amazed. Definitely not TA.” –Vitalicize
“NTA! But… it sounds like your bf has an issue with your vegetarianism and is expressing it under the guise of ‘how dare you insult my beloved mother like that.'”
“Your MIL sounds like a treasure, though. A very rare treasure! (Am curious about the terminology, seeing as that’s usually used to describe a spouse’s mother, not a bf or gf’s mother – are you and your bf engaged?)” –Lux_Brumalis
“NTA it’s not vegetarian if it’s got beef broth. Your bf is a moron. Hope he didn’t react that was because his mother ranted to him?” –redshirtensignricky
“NTA: Your MIL was OK with it, and you were OK with it. That’s all that really matters. But it sounds like bf’ is more of a ‘eat vegetarian when it’s convenient’ kind of guy, not all in with you being vegetarian all the time, which is kind of what it’s all about.” –Ianthin1
“NTA. Beef is not a vegetable. Just because it doesn’t look like an animal doesn’t mean it didn’t used to be an animal.” –sociablemonkey74
“NTA. It seems like you’d gone out of your way to try and reduce any stress your new dietary choices were going to have.”
“Your MIL sounds lovely though! If you ever dump the man, keep her 😅” –koalaburr87
“NTA. One of my sisters is a vegetarian that would have just ate the soup, but my other sister is a vegan that probably would not have. It’s your choice whether or not to actually consume what she made based off your own beliefs and what you’re comfortable with, and if your MIL wasn’t mad and you were not rude there is nothing for your SO to be angry about.” –joans_lab
“NTA Your boyfriend is a horrible human being that clearly craves drama to the point he wants to make you feel bad. You’re fine. You’re MIL was also fine. So there’s no point in him acting like that other than what I stated.” –mellowgiraffefriend
Hopefully OP’s boyfriend can learn to be as understanding as his mother is.