We as humans are learning new information every day.
Discovery is one of the fun parts of living another day.
There are however good ways and uncomfortable ways to learn new information.
Case in point…
Redditor Influence-Background wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for shaming my co-worker by pointing out her bad women’s anatomy comment?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Today at lunch we were watching with a bunch of co-workers a chapter of family guy.”
“Meg and Stewie were taking a bath, and they started to fart and Meg had a vaginal fart.”
“Many started to laugh while others didn’t know why.”
“Then someone started to explain how women can fart by their vaginas.”
“Then ‘Mary’ a co-worker started to explain that only women who have given birth or that are ‘very sexually active’ (she used another word) can have vaginal farts.”
“I started to laugh uncontrollably at her.”
“She asks me why am I’m laughing, and I said you’re joking right?”
“She said that she was not, that in fact, respectable women would never have vaginal farts.”
“That only a woman with a loose vagina would have them.”
“I laugh again and I said that I could believe that men could have those ideas, but I couldn’t believe she was that ignorant about her own body.”
“I started to try to explain to them that actually, vaginal farts are pretty natural, and any women (those who have given birth and those who don’t) can have them.”
“That vaginal farts doesn’t mean anything.”
“She said I was lying, so I made a quick search on Google, and show the others and Mary proof of what I was telling them.”
“After she saw them, Mary took her food and left.”
Two of my co-workers followed her.”
“After our shift ended, the three were waiting for me outside and told me that I was an a**hole for shaming Mary.”
“I told her that she was more of an a**hole for keeping spreading misinformation, and calling other women by the s-word.”
“They told me that didn’t matter if I was right, I should have keep silent, and told Mary after in private.”
“But I told her that by doing that, I would have let the others be misinformed by what Mary told them.”
“So, AITA for shaming Mary by correcting her in front of the others?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. People like Mary are the reason so many people are ashamed of their vaginas natural functions.” ~ External-Judgment-77
“I always get yelled at for pointing out facts when people are indeed wrong.”
“The OP, is not an AH, I would have done the same. 😔” ~ Brave_Specific5870
“Yep, this is why a lot of women don’t even realize exactly where their urine exits their bodies.”
“I’ve (45 f[emale]) been shocked many times by women thinking they pee out of their clitoris or out of their vaginal canal.”
“It’s crazy how often women shame other women with completely false assumptions and how much of an impact it has on us as a whole.”
“Women shouldn’t be embarrassed to take a mirror and look at their own anatomy, but many, many are mortified by the idea.” ~ Dewhickey76
“Short answer is NTA.”
“I want to focus in on your last sentence.”
“AITA for shaming Mary by correcting her in front of the others?”
“Where is the shaming in this?”
“I think grown adults need to be able to have normal people dialog where more than one person can exchange ideas.”
“If we want to get technical your coworker was essentially just lying to everyone about what could be relevant information about their bodies.”
“Only thing ‘rude’ you did was laugh and sound the smallest bit condescending, but it’s not like she was receptive to new information anyway.”
“Geez what a bunch of weirdos.” ~ RealAdamDriver
“NTA If a co-worker claims that Sweden is the capital of Norway, I would not be shaming them if I told them and all who heard their mistake that Sweden is its own country.”
“And that Oslo is the capital of Norway.”
“I wouldn’t be able to not laugh at them initially either – it would be such a clich´é.”
“I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.”
“Even that wouldn’t be shaming.”
“Simply being wrong about a geographical fact isn’t morally wrong.”
“But Mary is being misogynistic – internalized misogyny, to be sure – and we all have a responsibility to call out racism, misogyny and hoophobia if we are in a situation where we’re safe to do so.”
“So, not only are you NTA for correcting her misinformation.”
“You are especially NTA for doing it in public, to signal to everyone that slut-shaming is not ok at your place of work.” ~ KeyFly3
“NTA. Those are normal for one, loose vaginas aren’t a thing regardless.”
“They are muscles, so they don’t stretch as Mary thought they would.”
“It’s kind of sad to see how little she knows about her own anatomy.” ~ zZombi__
“NTA – Mary is publicly attempting to shame women, by publicly spreading incorrect information.”
“So you simply, corrected the misinformation so your colleagues didn’t have to suffer her deceit.”
“They need to get over themselves and stop projecting their shame and insecurity about themselves on other women.” ~ AceExistence99
“They told me that didn’t matter if I was right, I should have keep silence.”
“No this is a big problem in the world in my opinion. Dumb fools who cry when they are told they are wrong and try to make facts arguable opinions.”
“If you don’t like being wrong shut your dumb mouth when it comes to things you know nothing about. NTA.” ~ nick_shannon
“NTA but you’re a hero!”
“You stood up for facts in the face of ignorance and we’re not here for Mary’s sl*t-shaming.”
“You didn’t embarrass her, she embarrassed herself.”
“Some people deserve to get laughed at.” ~ Unkle_bad-touch
“NTA. The misinformation about women’s bodies is ridiculous and needs to be called out at every chance.”
“Especially considering people with no knowledge of them keep making shitty laws around our reproductive health.”
“But even more importantly, she was using this misinformation to sl*t shame women, which is absolutely horrible.”
“It is so frustrating to hear people say sexually active women have ‘loose’ vaginas, and call them ‘not respectable.’ Disgusting.”
“She deserved to be shamed, I hope she doesn’t have any daughters.” ~ Connieno
“Ok so I guess NTA for correcting Mary, but overall I’m gonna agree and say ESH.”
“Why are y’all even talking about this at work?”
“Like… I just feel like that’s a pretty inappropriate and unprofessional conversation to have with coworkers.”
“And yes I know it was during lunch break, but I wouldn’t touch a conversation like that with my coworkers with a ten-foot pole.”
“Like, Mary could go to HR about this.”
“Not that I think she would, but this whole situation sounds like an HR nightmare.” ~ duperando
“NTA. Shame is a consensual emotion, meaning that everybody involved needs to agree that behaviour is shameful.”
“She doesn’t feel ashamed for parroting patriarchal horseshit, she feels stupid.”
“The correct response to new information is to take it on board and understand the world better.” ~ Bighandsomepete
“NTA: Remaining silent in the face of bigotry or discrimination is never the right answer.”
‘”Even if you don’t change the person spouting ignorant crap, maybe you stuck up for someone suffering in silence.”
“If Mary doesn’t want to be challenged maybe she should keep her misinformation to herself.” ~ W0lfprud3
“NTA: What was all that stuff around the farts?”
“Respectable women would never have vaginal farts – only a woman with a loose vagina – ‘very sexually actives’ (she used another word).”
“Judgemental, nasty stuff – and not true.”
“Beyond that she called you a liar, and you defended yourself by presenting facts.”
“She was quite ready to shame you.”
“She just didn’t have anything to back up her nasty views on women.” ~ oldcreaker
“NTA but I get that it might have come off as mansplaining to her.”
“She’s still totally wrong and rude.”
“But she probably still believes she’s correct and was further offended by the fact that you are a man telling her about female anatomy.”
“Being a woman myself, that’s what I thought this post was going to be by the title.”
“Turns out not only was she wrong, she was also judgmental about it.” ~ iwillbemyself
“NTA. If I were you, I’d report this straight to HR.”
“Your colleague was making very ignorant comments about normal biological functions.”
“And positioning it in a way that could be construed as demeaning to women (there was definite moral judgment there).”
“THEN when you defended against this comment, your other coworkers ambushed you for a bullying session?”
“That’s a toxic workplace.” ~ thecyberbard
Knowledge is power.
The more you know, the less you say wrong.
Sounds like Reddit applauds OP’s fact sharing.
Maybe Mary and OP should chat about a few more things, in a friendly manner of course.