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Woman Annoyed After Finding Her Wedding Dress Friend Claimed Was ‘Lost’ Buried In Her Closet

Woman touching wedding dress
Vasil Dimitrov/Getty Images

Nearly all wedding dresses accrue some sort of sentimental value. That value increases when it’s a family heirloom.

Redditor weddingdressintheatt wore her mother’s wedding dress and always intended to keep the gown for her sister’s wedding.

When the time came for her sister to get married, the dress was nowhere to be found.

The Original Poster (OP) had left the dress with a friend for safekeeping during a renovation, but her friend claimed it was gone.

After a successful search, the OP’s friend got mad that she went through her closet.

This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for going through my friend’s closet to find my wedding dress?”

She went on to explain.

“2 years ago, my husband and I were doing some renovations to our house. I didn’t want my wedding dress to get damaged or lost in the process.”

“Which, considering we did lose a few things during the renovation, I was right to be concerned. My friend offered to keep it in her closet until the renovations were done.”

“After we finished the renovations, I asked my friend for the dress back. She kept saying she’d get back to me. I kept asking, and she’d make up excuses. I found it weird.”

“Now, my sister is getting married, and she wanted to wear the dress. This was our mother’s dress, and we always agreed we’d each wear it.”

“I told my friend I need it back. She claimed she couldn’t find it. I was perplexed because how does it just get up and walk away?”

“She apologized and offered to pay me the cost of the dress, which I turned down because it wasn’t about money. The dress was sentimental, and I felt terrible my sister couldn’t wear it.”

“My friend and her husband went away. I was there to water their plants and feed their dogs. I decided to go look myself.”

“The closet was very cluttered. I eventually found the dress. I can totally believe that she missed where it was, and she wasn’t being malicious in the slightest.”

“The box was tucked behind a few larger ones containing seasonal clothes.”

“I texted her saying, ‘I found the dress’. Instead of being happy for me, she asked why I rummaged through her closet? I said I just wanted to double-check.”

“She told me I had no right to go through her things. I said that because of her clutter, my sister almost didn’t get to wear a dress she always dreamed of.”

“My friend told me that I could’ve asked her to look again, but I pointed out it took two years for her to even look in the first place.”


Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“‘I can totally believe that she missed where it was, and she wasn’t being malicious in the slightest. The box was tucked behind a few larger ones containing seasonal clothes.’”

“‘I texted her saying “I found the dress”. Instead of being happy for me, she asked why I rummaged through her closet?’”

“Lol so interesting that she knew EXACTLY where you rummaged to find this ‘lost’ dress.”

“OP, I mean this in the nicest way, but you’re being naive.”

“She was trying to keep your dress.”

“Simple as that.”

“If all you had to do was go through that closet in her house, it wasn’t ‘lost’ or ‘misplaced.’ It was exactly where she put it, and she KNEW that.”

“NTA but this person isn’t your friend.”

“‘Which, considering we did lose a few things during the renovation, I was right to be concerned.”

“Was your ‘friend’ over during the renovations? You might need a second chance to ‘rummage’ at her home before the returns…” – no_rxn


“If I was in your friend’s situation and I genuinely couldn’t find the dress, then I would frankly have invited you to look around for it while you were in the house doing me a favor.”

“But I also am the type of person who would just assume that someone I trust enough to water my plants and feed my dog is also someone I trust in my space.”

“Snooping is a fairly natural instinct, and you had a specific reason for it.”

“Even if she’s legit about not liking that you went through her stuff, she went on the defensive immediately instead of being relieved that you managed to find the dress.”

“That just seems suspicious to me.”

“I would say meeting up with your friend to explain and hear what she has to say might be worthwhile, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the end of the friendship either.” – Chemical-Life-5113

“The only part I don’t agree with is actually telling her that you found it. I wouldn’t have mentioned it at all.”

“If she had mentioned it later on – after seeing your sister’s wedding photo, I would have simply said, ‘yes, I did find the dress after all.’” – Brilliant-Arthur

“NTA You just sent ‘I found the dress’ not saying where you found it? If she didn’t know where it was, why did she accuse you of going through her closet?”

“Seems to me she knew exactly where it was and, for whatever reason, didn’t want to give it back. This woman is not your friend.” – mmurphyk9

“‘I told my friend I need it back. She claimed she couldn’t find it.’”

“I texted her saying “I found the dress”. Instead of being happy for me, she asked why I rummaged through her closet?’”

“These don’t add up. If she ‘couldn’t find it’ how’d she know it was in her closet?”

“You were never going to get it back. NTA, but this person is not your friend; she fully intended to keep it.” – Queen_Sized_Beauty

“NTA I feel like your friend was being shady by offering money instead of finding a family heirloom.

“I think I never would’ve told her that I found the dress, and I would’ve let her find out by seeing your sister’s wedding photos.”

“Additionally, I totally would’ve let her plants die.” – SociallyIneptRaccoon

“NTA, to people saying you shouldn’t have snooped, she accepted to watching something that means a lot to you and obviously did not try to find it in the slightest when you kept asking her.”

“Even offered to pay instead of actually looking? That sounds suspicious AF.”

“You did nothing wrong, OP, she had YOUR property and refused to give it back. That is way worse then you looking through her things for it.”

“She is TA.” – Electric__Milk

“NTA. You had been asking about the dress for months, and they couldn’t be bothered to find it for you, even though they knew it was important to you.”

“It’s also not like you tore apart their house: you took a peek in an area where you thought it might be, and you found it.”

“I understand some people are protective of their clothes and other personal belongings, but if you’re good friends (good enough to let them hold onto the dress)…”

“…it shouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

“They have the right to be upset, but you have far more of a right to be angry with them. You did the equivalent of cutting them off in traffic, imo.”

“They did the equivalent of… well, holding onto something that was very valuable to you + your family and refusing to give it back to you.” – TigerKirby215

“I have to applaud you. Think she was hiding the dress away and knew exactly where it was at. Have to go with whomever said better to not have told her at all.”

“Once missing she would have figured out somebody took it. Hard to question you.”

“My mama once hired a locksmith to open somebody’s trunk that they claimed they couldn’t open to give back some tool because of no key. You did what you had to do.”

“Now go water your own plants if you have any and consider if you want her in your life.” – pensaha


“It was your property, and at that point, you had permission to be in the home. She made no reasonable attempts to look for the dress, knowing full well that you wanted it back…”

“…when she made the first thing not in reference to ‘Wow! You found it! Great!’, but instead ‘Why did you snoop through my closet?’ she likely already knew where it was.”

“When people take THAT long to look and find something they know they should have, then to me it’s malicious.” – Ordinary_Mortgage870

“NTA. Everyone here is assuming malice and she was trying to steal it and other weird stuff but your friend is mad because she’s embarrassed.”

“Not only about how cluttered her house is but also about how she was unable to muster up the ability to do anything about it for this length of time, and you had to go in and do it.”

“She likely downplayed the importance of the dress because otherwise, she’d have to feel like the world’s sh*ttiest friend for not overcoming her overwhelm about the closet to get the dress.”

“She offered you money because that was easier than confronting her ‘failure.’”

“And now she’s getting mad about you going in the closet to deflect all those two years of feeling sh*tty collapsing in on her.”

“I would tell your friend you’re sorry for going in the closet, but you really needed the dress.”

“If you still want to be her friend, you can say something like…”

“…‘I hope you know that I will never judge you for something like a messy closet. Please don’t think you have to save face with me about things like that.’” – purplearmored

Hopefully OP’s sister is excited she gets to wear the dress.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)