An agreed-upon set of rules is essential to keeping a peaceful roommate situation.
Of course, certain people are bound to break the rules consistently.
Then the peace is upended.
Redditor x_SpacedOut_x wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for turning off the tumble dryer and making my housemate go to work with wet clothes?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am 21 F[emale] am in a bit of an argument with my housemate right now, and I’m wondering if I’m justified here.”
“For context, I have a chronic illness that causes chronic fatigue.”
“If I don’t get enough sleep, I feel very unwell, and it makes my pain and other symptoms much worse, as well as just being horribly tired all day.”
“I try not to use earplugs, as for reasons I won’t get into, they cause my ears to get blocked and very painful quite easily.”
“I live in a student house on the bottom floor (I can’t manage stairs, so it was the only option for me) across the hall from the tumble dryer.”
“The dryer is loud.”
“It rattles the floor and beeps when it’s done until someone (usually me) opens the door or turns it off.”
“It keeps me awake, and if someone puts it on while I’m asleep, it’s guaranteed to wake me up.”
“Given my condition and just generally needing to not have my sleep interrupted, I asked my housemates not to turn it on after 11 pm.”
“We all agreed to this arrangement, and there were no problems.”
“Recently, one of my housemates has been consistently using the tumble dryer late at night.”
“I spoke to him and said if he keeps doing it, I will just turn it off after 11 pm, regardless of whether his clothes are dry.”
“This is where I might be the a**hole.”
“He put clothes in the dryer at about 2 in the morning and woke me up.”
“I was pissed off and turned the dryer off so I could sleep.”
“When I woke up, he had sent me a message saying that because of me, he had to go to work with wet, musty-smelling clothes.”
“He had only put the dryer on that late at night because he had no other option, and couldn’t I have just put up with it for one night?”
“He has done this 3 or 4 times, and I didn’t complain, so maybe he thought I didn’t mind that much?”
“I probably should have spoken to him before I got fed up and just turned it off, but I did warn him that I would turn the dryer off if he did it again.”
“I do feel bad that he had to go to work with damp clothes, though.”
“I really don’t feel like it was that bad of a thing to do, but he is quite upset with me and wants me to apologize.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Using the dryer at 2 am in a shared living space is unacceptable regardless of whether someone has a chronic illness or not.”
“He can use a clothing rack or whatever it’s called to dry his clothes overnight.” ~ Slow-Recommendation6
“NTA – personally I think putting the dryer (or making any loud noises) at 2 am is just wildly inconsiderate roommate behavior.”
“His lack of preparation in needing to wash his clothes last minute is not your problem, and does this man only own one washing machine’s worth of clothes??”
“I had a roommate in a similar position to you (minus the chronic fatigue, she just liked to go out running at 6 am every morning and was an early riser) who tried to tell us not to use the dryer (or make any noise) after 9 pm.”
“She was a nightmare to live with; you sound very reasonable by comparison. 11 pm is totally fair.” ~ FalseAsphodel
“I’m also leaning toward NTA.”
“I live in an apartment on the top floor.”
“Somehow, my piping connects to my neighbor downstairs.”
“I hear him cough, and the dryer shakes like crazy.”
“I’ve also asked him to please not turn it on at night or crazy early in the morning.”
“He’s kind enough to agree.”
“I’d like to think I’m a kind neighbor as well.”
“Our social housing is awful; we’ve both tried.”
“Those things have timers! It doesn’t cost much to plan.”
“I put up with the once in a blue moon that the dryer ends around 23.00.” ~ Waldkornbol
“NTA, and I’m really surprised by any YTAs here.”
“11 pm sounds like a really reasonable quiet time.”
“I’ve lived in several situations where the agreed quiet time was 10 or 9 pm – and no one had special health needs – it was just a courtesy agreement when many people are sharing a living space.”
“I don’t understand how your flatmate had no other choice.”
“Is he working 16-hour shifts or something?”
“As someone who is chronically disorganized and does laundry last-minute, I have ironed my clothes dry countless times.”
“I suggest he gets an iron and does the same.”
“It works really well.” ~ forevergleaning
“NTA. He agreed to quiet hours.”
“If he can’t manage his laundry better, he can get a folding airer for his own place.” ~ Chelonie4
“This. He quite literally expects OP and other housemates to extend the same courtesy to him by avoiding the shower and being quiet after 11 pm on nights when he’s not up late.”
“If this were a one-time/super rare thing and OP turned the dryer off, they might be wrong.”
“But for him to do it multiple times is so inconsiderate.”
“An ’emergency’ because he was irresponsible, forgetting he had work and going to the club late??”
“That’s his problem; it shouldn’t become OP’s problem.” ~ cheesecup6
“NTA. Where I’m from, it’s not legal to use noisy appliances after 10 pm and before 6 am.”
“Since you only ask that they not be used after 11 pm, you are being more than reasonable.”
“Your housemate can just hang his clothes out to dry on a clothes rack.” ~ DSQ
“NTA. There is absolutely no reason to be using a dryer at 2 am when you know somebody is trying to sleep nearby.”
“You are not the only one who is obligated to be considerate of roommates.’
“He could have hung his clothes up or done laundry at a reasonable hour, well before he had completely run out of clean clothes.” ~ 2naomi
“NTA. My condo has a very clear ‘only use the washing machines from 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM’ sign for exactly this reason.”
“Your illness isn’t even relevant; quiet hours that cover 2 in the morning are a common courtesy.” ~ hauptj2
“If you all agreed about the 11 pm thing, then NTA.” ~ shikakaaaaaaa
“NTA honestly, it’s not hard to be considerate of others.”
“I work 3rd shift, and my roommate works 1st.”
“The washer shakes the house and wakes me up, and he’s agreed not to do his laundry while I’m sleeping.”
“If he had the same problem, I would also do my laundry only in the small window of time we are both awake.”
“Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, and it’s not fair to you to have to live through that just because your housemate has poor time management skills and can’t do his laundry at a respectable hour like is agreed upon.”
“I also want to add that when I lived in an apartment building which had washer and dryers at the end of the hall, you weren’t allowed to run the machines at night.”
“That’s completely normal and acceptable rules to have.”
“If it’s acceptable for an apartment, it’s acceptable for a shared house.” ~ Gralb_the_muffin
“NTA. Using the dryer that early in the morning is absurd.”
“To the people claiming OP can’t have their way because it’s a shared house, that logic goes both ways.”
“The housemate using the dryer at 2 in the morning can’t have it his way either.”
“He needs to learn to manage his time better and respect the fact that when you’re sharing a living space, you have to be mindful of the other people you live with.”
“He could have just worn some other dry clothes instead.”
“OP is allowed to have the peace and quiet they need to manage their condition.”
“Asking people not to use the dryer at some ungodly hour in the morning is hardly unreasonable.” ~ saltedfish
“NTA. The agreement was broken. Multiple times.”
“He could have woken up early to dry it, or hung-dried his clothes.”
“All that’s needed is some string in his room or a shower tension rod.” ~ Ok-Strawberry-4215
OP came back with some info…
“We do not live in an American-style dorm/student accommodation where there are rules set out by the owner of the complex, and you do not choose your housemates.”
“We are privately renting, and a group of friends who have known each other before choosing to move in with each other.”
“We all agreed on the rules before moving in together.”
“The 11 pm time is a general rule for being quiet across the house.”
“He dried his clothes that late because he was coming in from the club and had forgotten he had work the next day.”
“He has asked us (all housemates) not to use the shower past 11 pm for similar reasons (it wakes him up).”
“We all agreed to this and stick to this rule.”
“The dryer sucks, and we have spoken to the landlord, but he also suck,s so nothing has been done about it yet.”
This is an unfortunate situation, OP.
But most of Reddit is with you.
If these were agreed-upon rules, your roommate is at fault.
He is being disrespectful to everyone in the house.
Stand your ground.
Good Luck.