While some will say that pregnancy is a beautiful experience, others will point out some of the harder aspects, like aches and pains or food cravings.
It’s especially hard if the pregnant woman does not feel supported by her partner, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor midnightcravings1 managed to make things worse by making her pregnant friend upset about her husband not catering to each of her food cravings.
When she caused an argument, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong to speak up.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for making my cousin angry at her husband for not getting her pregnancy cravings for her?”
The OP spoke up for her pregnant friend.
“I’ve had a lot of weird and oddly specific pregnancy cravings. So far, my husband has gotten me every single one without fail.”
“A few days ago, my cousin, who is also pregnant, and her husband were visiting.”
“While they were here, I got this random craving for these brownies I had from a bakery in France.”
“I mentioned it to my cousin and her husband because I wanted to know if she was also having these oddly specific cravings.”
“She told me she did but it was torture because her husband almost never got them for her.”
“I said that wasn’t nice of him and I would be upset if my husband acted like that.”
The friend’s husband did not appreciate the comment.
“Her husband got defensive and said he actually got her the food she was craving a lot and that there was a limit to how many times he should be expected to run around after the food she was craving.”
“He kept telling me my husband wouldn’t get me my French brownies (we live in Europe but not France) even though I knew he would because I’ve had even more ridiculous cravings before and he found a way to get them for me.”
“I told him I would ask my husband, since he never believed me, to prove a point, and he was so confident that my husband would say no, which he obviously didn’t.”
“The brownies came after several hours, and the longer it was taking, the more arrogant her husband got so, I was very happy when they arrived.”
It impacted the rest of the visit.
“My cousin was visibly p**sed at her husband for the rest of their visit.”
“My cousin’s husband asked my husband if he had got them just to prove my point but my husband said he got them because I said I was craving them and that French brownies were much easier to get than some of the other cravings I’ve had.”
“Cousin’s husband asked about what other cravings I’ve had and was p**sed when he realized I knew I would get the brownies if I asked.”
“Before they left, he called me out on setting him up to look bad and claims his wife is mad at him because of me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was YTA for setting the wrong expectations.
“YTA. I don’t care if you do live in Europe: expecting your spouse to pick up food from a different country is well above and beyond reasonable accommodation for cravings, and you’re an a** for encouraging your cousin to be a diva about it.” – mm172
“Also if it really was easy to order and be delivered OR was just as easy to drive there and back then that just makes it equally worse.”
“OP could then be just as capable of getting it herself without snapping her fingers and getting her husband to do it each and every single time.” – cocosnut
“It’s exactly the performance here that makes OP TA. Pregnancy cravings are real and good on OP and her husband for being able to suit her but running your husband around to prove a point and doing it to put on some farce about ‘look how great my husband is compared to yours’? YTA and honestly just childish.” – ActiveRude
Others said the OP was being unreasonable in her pregnancy.
“I’ve been pregnant multiple times and I never sent my husband on trips that would have taken a long time, or that happened in the middle of the night. Pregnant people can still be reasonable with requests.”
“I feel like brownies’ doesn’t seem like a good reason to send your partner hours out of their way on a regular basis.” – Captain_Quoll
“I’m currently pregnant, and while my husband is lovely about looking after me, I primarily deal with any cravings my own d**n self.”
“Both of us are happy that I’ve been baking a LOT of chocolate chip cookies lately, and the farthest I’ve asked him to go to get me something is the big freezer out in our shed.” – CharlieBravoSierra
“A 2-hour drive to satisfy a craving that’s just as likely to have passed by the time he gets back? That’s insane.”
“I drove all over town to get my wife whatever she wanted when she was pregnant (and right after birth, when she craved some things she couldn’t have during pregnancy)… but a 2 hour trip for one item? Nuh-uh.” – booch
“This, holy crap. I was expecting OP to send her husband to McDonald’s at an awkward time, or to a specific store an hour away. Things that would be mildly inconvenient, but not unrealistic. But… from another country? That takes several hours to deliver? That’s extreme.”
“I mean, if your husband is willing to do it, I guess that’s good for you, OP. But that certainly isn’t the norm- and you were an a** for showing off like that and making your cousin think this is a normal expectation.” – Willowed-Wisp
The OP might have thought she was just making a point toward her friend’s husband, but the subReddit thought it was more than that. Not only was the OP demanding a lot of her husband, but in a way, she was also using his kindness to prove a point, not to mention using him to increase expectations, likely to an unrealistically high point.