Everyone has fun little tidbits of trivia about themselves.
If you find out one of those factoids is wrong, and you know the other person genuinely believes it, is it your job to tell them? Does that obligation change if this is a fact they share with others?
A Reddit user going by songisntabtherta found himself caught in that conundrum, so he asked the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit:
“WIBTA if I told my wife a song isn’t about her?”
Before we get into the details of the story, let’s talk about how AITA works. The subReddit is devoted to those “morally ambiguous” moments in life, like this one.
The original poster (you’ll see them called “OP” a lot) posts about their situation. Other reddit users comment with their thoughts and a vote.
Voting Options Are:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Now back to this musical moment of moral murkiness.
“My wife (24F[emale]) had a short and casual relationship with a musician.”
“There’s a song written by him that has her name in it. It’s like her own personal theme.”
“Every time she makes a friend, it’s her go-to ice-breaker. Our daughter is young and we even play it as a little lullaby for her.”
“Anyway, the song isn’t extremely popular unless you’re into his band’s music, I would say, but it’s popular enough if you’re into them.”
“I listen to some of their music, and I got recommended a YouTube video where the guy talked about the meaning of the song. I clicked into it to see if he would actually mention her.”
“Turns out the song is about someone completely different (and his story actually makes more sense). Would I be the a-hole if I told her it wasn’t about her?”
“I kind of feel like if I don’t, I’m lying by omission. But it’s such a cute thing she has, and I don’t want to ruin it for her.”
“I feel mortified at the idea that some of the people she’s told might have looked it up after and thought she was lying. Then again, the real meaning isn’t on Genius Lyrics yet, so I don’t know.”
“Honestly, I love the song and I’d be happy to take it to the grave, but I’m afraid of how many people might think she’s a liar, and I know she’d feel so humiliated if she knew.”
“I hope she can still keep it in her life as ‘her song’ knowing the meaning, but I’d just feel so guilty if I told her and now she’s lost something she loves. That’s where I’m stuck.”
Some Reddit users felt it was best to just let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak.
“Soft YWBTA – I don’t see that it would serve any purpose other than to make her less happy. I wouldn’t think of it as lying by omission. I’d fall on the side of calling it ‘tact.’ ” – excessiverain
“She’ll find it on her own one day, you don’t have to burst her bubble. YWBTA” – poowithaview
“Soft YWBTA because I really don’t see any harm in her thinking it’s about her if it makes her happy.”
“You wouldn’t be an a-hole, but I don’t see the point in her knowing, honestly. If I was her I wouldn’t be mad at you for telling me, but it would bum me out.” – lulu-crossing
“Telling her serves no real purpose other than saving her some embarrassment if she does find out the song isn’t about her. It may even upset her if she finds out you knew but didn’t tell her.”
“but… I honestly can’t justify telling her based on a ‘she might one day find out’ scenario so…”