No two people will have the same idea of what it means when someone tells them to “make yourself at home.”
Generous as the offer is, many people still wouldn’t help themself to anything without asking first and will still watch every step and move they make, well aware that they are a guest in someone else’s house.
Others take the invitation a bit more literally, helping themselves to food and drink without a second thought, bothering to pick up after themselves, or behaving just as they would were they alone at home.
The daughter of Redditor Jaded-Band-5692 happily babysat for her cousins, the children of the original poster (OP)’s sister on a regular basis to earn some extra pocket money.
However, upon realizing that the OP’s daughter helped herself to something she wasn’t permitted to during her most recent babysitting gig, the OP’s sister demanded her money back, as reimbursement for what her daughter took.
A request that OP had no interest in fulfilling.
Wondering if she was out of line for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to pay for cake slices that my teenage daughter ate?”
The OP explained why her sister felt she deserved her money back after her daughter’s recent babysitting visit:
“I (38 F[emale]) am a single mom with my teenage daughter, Carly (17 F).”
“My sister (36 F) lives nearby with her husband and two kids, (9 F and 7 M[ale]).”
“Carly sometimes babysits her cousins on the weekends so that my sister and BIL can go out, usually for 3-4 hours.”
“In exchange, my sister gives her €30-€40, cash in hand.”
“Me and my sister do not make Carly babysit; she volunteers too.”
“She likes having the extra money to fund her Starbucks addiction without a part-time job in fast food or retail, plus the kids love getting to see her.”
“I’m glad that she’s getting to learn responsibility.”
“I think it’s a win all around.”
“Last weekend there was a problem.”
“A couple hours after Carly came home from babysitting, my sister called me.”
“It was my niece’s birthday 2ish weeks ago, and there was some leftover birthday cake in their kitchen.”
“It was a custom-made fancy lemon curd cake, and I remember at the party a lot of the kids didn’t want to eat it, so a lot was left over.”
“Whilst she was babysitting, Carly had eaten two slices.”
“My sister said that she should’ve asked before helping herself to the cake and that it was expensive.”
“I apologized to my sister and told her that I would have a word with my daughter.”
“She mentions again that the cake was custom-made and expensive and says that we should be compensating her.”
“At first, I honestly thought she couldn’t be serious, but she did want me to give her money because of the cake.”
“I mentioned that surely the cake is going bad soon if it isn’t already stale (I said this light-heartedly trying to lighten the mood) but made it clear I’m NOT GIVING HER MONEY.”
“She says she paid €70 for the cake, and she expects me to give her €20.”
“I told her I’m not doing that.”
“My sister says I’m being inconsiderate and that my daughter ate the slices without permission.”
“I feel like she is being petty, and what difference would it have made if all of it got eaten last weekend or at the birthday party?”
“AITA for refusing to pay her for the cake?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to reimburse her sister for two slices of two-week-old cake.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s sister was being petty and ridiculous, pointing out that if that cake really was over two weeks old and there was so much left, no one was likely going to eat it, with many urging the OP not to let Carly babysit for her anymore after this episode.
“NTA.”
“I’m guessing, but I think your sister thought lemon curd was a good idea for a kids 9th birthday party – the kids didn’t like it, and she was left with a lot of this expensive cake.”
“She hasn’t thrown it out after 2 weeks because of the money she spent on it, and now she sees an opportunity to recoup some money to make herself feel better about her stupid birthday cake decision.”
“Don’t give her anything.”
“I’m surprised your daughter doesn’t have food poisoning from 2-week old lemon curd cake.”-alien_overlord_1001
“NTA.”
“Your sister is being extremely petty.”
“She’s upset because her niece, not a random person, ate 2-week old cake.”
“2-week old cake is garbage.”
“Your daughter is family.”
“Your sister should be happy that the cake didn’t end up in the bin.”
“She’s has been getting discount baby-sitting from her niece.”
“Tell her that based on her behavior, she’s obviously looking for ways to find fault with her niece so she can steal back half her niece’s pay.”
“You trusted your sister with your child to treat your daughter with fairness and respect.”
“She failed that trust.”
“Your daughter should never babysit for your sister again.”
“If she does, it should be for €10 per hour per child, paid upfront.”
“Insist on a written contract that states what she’s allowed to eat and drink.”
“Is she allowed a drink of juice?”
“Can she enjoy a share of something the kids are snacking on?”
“If they have crisps, how much does each crisp cost?”
“Your daughter made the mistake of believing that your sister is family.”
“This is not how you treat family.”- AdOne8433
“NTA.”
“That cake is STALE.”- StAlvis
“Pay is for the two slices of her fancy cake, and tell your daughter she will not be babysitting her siblings without full and comparable to other sitters’ compensation ever again.”
“And tell her why.”
“Your sis had the golden goose of babysitters, and she obviously had no idea how good she had it. Emphasis on had.”
“If she wants to nickel and dime you, let’s go.”
“And don’t bother to give a sister a heads up.”
“She can find out your daughter will be charging her, oh, shall we say, 20 euros an hour?”
“For every hour?”
“Or whatever the going rate is, or she can scramble to find an alternate.”
“Your daughter could make all kinds of money for her Starbucks addiction, working for somebody else.”
“But the bargain sis had- ended when she expected you to fork over 20 euro for stale leftover cake.”
“NTA.”- YouthNAsia63
“NTA.”
“It’s two weeks old, and the niece wasn’t going to eat it.”
“Chances are, Sis is kicking herself for spending so much/going so far out of her way for a cake her daughter didn’t like.”
“Carly brought attention to the fact that there was so much left over.”
“Also, it doesn’t matter *now* how expensive it was to begin with.”
“The cake is now a sunk cost.”
“Sis is not going to recoup anything by letting it rot in the fridge.”- Charlotte_Braun
“NTA.”
“Losing safe and reliable babysitting over two-week old cake is a weird hill to die on.”
“Your daughter has likely eaten there while babysitting and didn’t expect a two-week-old cake that wasn’t popular at the party would be a big deal.”
“Ask your daughter how she feels about it.”
“If she wants to continue babysitting, have her deduct it from her next babysitting job.”
“But you shouldn’t pay her for the slices.”- Ariesinnc3017
“Is your daughter okay after eating a two-week-old cake?”
“People aren’t usually that upset about leftovers, especially old leftovers, and it’s not like your daughter ate the cake before the party or something like that.”
“NTA.”- CanterCircles
“Was the cake from the wedding of King Edward VIII to Wallis Simpson, circa 1937?”
“Did it cost $29,000?”
“I’m calling your daughter Elaine from now on.”
“That said, she’s helpfully babysitting her cousins.”
“It’s leftover cake.”
“If the parents didn’t want her to touch it, they should’ve said something.”
“Otherwise, it’s not beyond comprehension that a family member doing a huge favor might have a snack.”
“NTA.”- ironchef8000
It’s a universally accepted rule of babysitting that the one in charge of caring for your child is welcome to help themself to any food or drink while in the house, barring alcohol, of course, and anything explicitly told was off limits.
Expensive as it was, it’s hard to imagine the OP’s sister was saving two-week-old cake for anyone else to eat.
It’s hard not to agree with those who think that asking for her money back might have cost the OP’s sister a babysitter.
As Carly will now likely look for someone who pays her much more and allows her to eat a slice of cake should she want it.